Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
How to Care for Self Without Being Selfish

How to Care for Self Without Being Selfish

I do have a matter that presses on my heart that I would like some clarification on.  It is that of self-care.

I know you encourage self-care and I do understand the importance of what I think self-care is, however, in this day and age of people crying out for “me” time, are there any biblical principles that clarify what self-care is?

Thanks and many blessings

You have asked a question that has troubled many good Christians over the years. How do we care for ourselves, without being selfish? How can a selfish being love themselves in healthy ways?

As I have explored this question the real issue is rarely, if ever, behaviour, but instead is always about the attitudes and motivations of the heart.

All too often we focus only on outward appearance. We make a list of sanctioned behaviours which when performed are acknowledged by many religious communities as beneficial. But when we “caring” for ourselves, we must inquire, “What is my motive? Why am I exercising and eating right?” Is it to obtain a beautiful physique to attract sexual partners? Is it to have the healthiest mind and body possible in order to fulfill God’s purpose in my life?

The only possible way to care for oneself in a healthy way is to first surrender oneself to Jesus Christ. When we have come to know God and Christ, as Jesus revealed them to be, and through our connection with Them overcome our inherent fear and actually place our lives into their hands, then we can begin self-care as God designed.

Self-care, as God designed, is the process of caring for the Temple in which His Spirit dwells. It is using one’s abilities and resources to promote His kingdom – which is the kingdom of love and truth. When we recognize we are not live only to ourselves, but our lives impact and effect others, then we begin to awaken to the awesome privilege of participating with God to witness for Him.

The real issue in self-care is motive. When we have surrendered self, placed Christ first in the heart and seek to honour Him with our lives, then self care becomes more easily focused. Christ, who came to bless and save, took time away from the crowds, not for self-indulgence, but for strengthening, refocusing, and for physical and spiritual strengthening so He would be more able to bless when with the crowds. Likewise, when our hearts are surrendered to Christ, we set healthy boundaries, we seek to use our energies to uplift and bless, we don’t become doormats exploited and walked upon by others, but make intelligent choices to maintain the physical, mental and emotional health of God’s creation for the purpose of fulfilling His calling in our lives!

In summary what are some Biblical principles in self-care?

  1. Keep the focus on God – do all to His honour and glory. Is the activity in caring for self one that will be honourable to Him? Would God be smiling with you in the activity?
  2. Keep the focus on others, will the activity rejuvenate, restore or equip you for further ministry?
  3. Practice healthy living, which includes God’s dietary guidelines, exercise, sleep, avoidance of toxins, all of which promote the health of the Spirit Temple. God’s love for you doesn’t change if you choose to not follow His design for physical health. However, when we violate God’s health principles we become sick and less capable of ministering to others and instead often need others to minister to us.
  4. Meditate and daily commune with God. Only in a vital personal connection with God can we know our duty for each day.
  5. Live up to the truth you know. When we live outside of the truth, the conscience convicts us of guilt and this has a heavy physiological and psychological toll and undermines our usefulness for God.
  6. Set healthy boundaries. Learn to say no. One of Satan’s traps to destroy God’s workers is to get them to accept more burdens than they can actually fulfill. Self-health requires avoiding over taxation of the self, avoiding over extending oneself and maintaining time for both physical and psychological rest and recovery.

If others have discovered practical principles for healthy self care please share them so we may all learn from each other.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 5

We listen to your bible studies lessons in our class in Montana. You actually were the main reason I decided to get a laptop, so I can go to your site and listen, read, learn, and print the class notes. I am so grateful to learn the correct view of God and his character. Now, to just have others have an interest in knowing, so I can share it with them. Good thoughts your way.

R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 14

We really appreciate your views on the judgment and they make good sense considering our free choice.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 74

Thank you so much for opening my eyes. I’ve been through a lot of ministries that just didn’t show the love of God that I felt he was. You have helped me to begin the process of true healing. I thought I was “too far gone,” now I know there’s hope in Jesus, because he loves us beyond what we can comprehend. Thank you again for all you do. I truly appreciate it and pray more people find you (physical at your studio and through this website).

Dalio M.

Testimony 24

I wanted to thank you very much for presenting your understanding of God. I’ve always been troubled by this question: Why did Jesus have to die? Since my conversion I understood that The Father & Jesus are one, I did not have issues with that. But was there not any other way to save us than for Jesus to die? I guess I actually had a question about God – if He is so wise, how come He did not find another way? I did not see the real ‘beauty’  in the cross. Only when you explained the picture in the medical context, Jesus providing medicine for my selfishness, have I started to finally ‘see the light’. Thank you so much. Your seminar, “Healing the Mind,” are absolutely marvelous & have shared them with my family and many other people, including colleagues at work. Thanks, thanks, thanks. May God bless you abundantly in your ministry.

M. W., Australia

 

Testimony 58

I have been watching your videos in The Power of Love seminar and I must say these have liberated me and have improved my relationship with the Lord. I am no longer terrified of him as I was before following your teachings.

Thando N., South Africa

 

Testimony 20

I just wanted to personally thank you for your teachings and insight into scripture. I came across your website via my cousin who suggested I look into “Healing the Mind” information. My youngest daughter has been struggling over the last couple of years and it all came to a head this spring. When I started listening to the “Healing the Mind” lectures my own life began to be transformed. I began sharing with all my daughters the concepts you laid out so clearly. I ordered your book and soaked it up. I just want to say “Thank You!” My walk with the Lord has been refreshed and renewed. Your obedience to the Lord is a blessing to so many.

R. K., Anderson, SC, USA

 

Testimony 11

I would love to have a copy of “Healing the Mind” DVDs to have in my therapy office. I enjoy having clients check out materials to enhance their therapy experience. I have sat under Dr. Jennings’ teaching at an American Association of Christian Counselors convention and respect his work greatly.

K.B., LA, USA

 

Testimony 72

I am blown away by the truth that you present. God’s Design Law makes so much sense! You have validated my impression that, if God is love, He would not kill those who don’t want to know him. If God gives us choice, then how can He destroy us if our choice is not to follow him. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to the pure love of God seen through Jesus. The love I now have for Jesus is deeper and free from condemnation. My heart has been opened to love others as Jesus loves me. May God continue to bless your God-given insight into His word and your ministry. The truth has set me free!

H. Miller, Centereach, NY

Testimony 45

I have been confused for years about what [christianity] calls [its] most disgusting teaching. It has never made much sense to me and for that reason has been evermore empty. I have listened to your class off and on and have struggled determining what is truth, because of the resistance design law encounters in the church. So, I thank God for your ministry. What you teach makes sense. It’s logical and backed up by the power of love. I have never seen that in Christ until now. I am astounded by the insight that is found when we look at God’s ministry through design law. All strength to this message, as I believe it to be the power of God.

Brendon S.

 

Testimony 17

The blessings of clarity and understanding you and your class inspire me to take from the word of God have impressed upon me so greatly the true, loving character of our Creator. I have found amazing freedom and joy through building a stronger, more intentional relationship with Him. What is new is that this is now a relationship built on love, reverence and respect rather than fear and obligation, and as such my eyes have been slammed OPEN as I am continually impressed by the manifestations of God’s true character in His provisions for fallen man.

T.E.H., Salt Lake City, UT, USA

 

Testimony 64

I’ve been reading the bible and walking with Jesus since I was around 16. I’m 42 now. I’ve mostly been alone in my walk although I went to several churches in different denominations. For the past 3 years God has been showing me His character of agape. It’s been a blessing and changed how I view God and my walk with Jesus. About a year ago I came across the power of love and the principles of design law. These teachings changed how I read scripture and have been such a beautiful blessing. I’m very excited and grateful for these truths. We share these truths of agape, design law and the reality of the principles of the two trees in the garden of Eden with people on Facebook and YouTube. People all over are learning to trust God and His agape design law which makes life possible. Thank you for everything you shared with me. May God continue to bless your ministry and lives.

Bradley M., Hinsdale, NY, USA

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa

 

Testimony 18

The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 47

I can’t even begin to thank you and your ministry enough for introducing me to the Truth about a loving and merciful God! I have my daughter and her in-laws to thank for sharing with me “The God-Shaped Brain” as well as your website. I listen to the Bible study class lessons on my daily walk. May God continue to bless your thirst-quenching ministry!

Liz H., Port Angeles, WA, USA

 

 

Testimony 52

Your unique way in spreading the truth is what we all need today. Most of us don’t recognize the contamination coming from all the lies and selfishness in the world. Because of our fear of death, we forgot how to live. Lies left and right. I was losing hope and faith, because of so many ideas that are always contradicting each other – so many questions answered by other, more complicated, questions – until I found your channel on YouTube.

You did not just give me answers, you also taught me how to answer new questions that arise in my mind. Now I see things differently. I see God’s mercy, grace, and Love everywhere, in spite of all the chaos that we all have done as humans. I don’t fear death anymore. Accepting the Truth and Love about God is truly a genuine Freedom from all the confusions, sufferings, selfishness, pain, and death.

I just wanted to say, thank you, sooooo much for revealing the real Remedy for our infected life. I have a new hope and now see the world in a different perspective!

Wheinny P., University Place, WA, USA