Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
How to Care for Self Without Being Selfish

How to Care for Self Without Being Selfish

I do have a matter that presses on my heart that I would like some clarification on.  It is that of self-care.

I know you encourage self-care and I do understand the importance of what I think self-care is, however, in this day and age of people crying out for “me” time, are there any biblical principles that clarify what self-care is?

Thanks and many blessings

You have asked a question that has troubled many good Christians over the years. How do we care for ourselves, without being selfish? How can a selfish being love themselves in healthy ways?

As I have explored this question the real issue is rarely, if ever, behaviour, but instead is always about the attitudes and motivations of the heart.

All too often we focus only on outward appearance. We make a list of sanctioned behaviours which when performed are acknowledged by many religious communities as beneficial. But when we “caring” for ourselves, we must inquire, “What is my motive? Why am I exercising and eating right?” Is it to obtain a beautiful physique to attract sexual partners? Is it to have the healthiest mind and body possible in order to fulfill God’s purpose in my life?

The only possible way to care for oneself in a healthy way is to first surrender oneself to Jesus Christ. When we have come to know God and Christ, as Jesus revealed them to be, and through our connection with Them overcome our inherent fear and actually place our lives into their hands, then we can begin self-care as God designed.

Self-care, as God designed, is the process of caring for the Temple in which His Spirit dwells. It is using one’s abilities and resources to promote His kingdom – which is the kingdom of love and truth. When we recognize we are not live only to ourselves, but our lives impact and effect others, then we begin to awaken to the awesome privilege of participating with God to witness for Him.

The real issue in self-care is motive. When we have surrendered self, placed Christ first in the heart and seek to honour Him with our lives, then self care becomes more easily focused. Christ, who came to bless and save, took time away from the crowds, not for self-indulgence, but for strengthening, refocusing, and for physical and spiritual strengthening so He would be more able to bless when with the crowds. Likewise, when our hearts are surrendered to Christ, we set healthy boundaries, we seek to use our energies to uplift and bless, we don’t become doormats exploited and walked upon by others, but make intelligent choices to maintain the physical, mental and emotional health of God’s creation for the purpose of fulfilling His calling in our lives!

In summary what are some Biblical principles in self-care?

  1. Keep the focus on God – do all to His honour and glory. Is the activity in caring for self one that will be honourable to Him? Would God be smiling with you in the activity?
  2. Keep the focus on others, will the activity rejuvenate, restore or equip you for further ministry?
  3. Practice healthy living, which includes God’s dietary guidelines, exercise, sleep, avoidance of toxins, all of which promote the health of the Spirit Temple. God’s love for you doesn’t change if you choose to not follow His design for physical health. However, when we violate God’s health principles we become sick and less capable of ministering to others and instead often need others to minister to us.
  4. Meditate and daily commune with God. Only in a vital personal connection with God can we know our duty for each day.
  5. Live up to the truth you know. When we live outside of the truth, the conscience convicts us of guilt and this has a heavy physiological and psychological toll and undermines our usefulness for God.
  6. Set healthy boundaries. Learn to say no. One of Satan’s traps to destroy God’s workers is to get them to accept more burdens than they can actually fulfill. Self-health requires avoiding over taxation of the self, avoiding over extending oneself and maintaining time for both physical and psychological rest and recovery.

If others have discovered practical principles for healthy self care please share them so we may all learn from each other.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 13

I borrowed “Healing The Mind” DVDs from a friend and showed them at my home for a small gathering of women friends. Neither of my friends are Adventist, but they both enjoyed and embraced the messages you taught. In fact, one of the ladies prayed out loud in our group and that was the first time she had ever had public prayer.

J.B. ,Dalles, OR, USA

 

Testimony 27

Your teachings about our heavenly Father have changed my life. Thank you sooooooo very very much! I know He’s doing some serious healing in my heart and life and I look forward to each new day to learn something new about Him and to just hear you speak about Him. Thank you, forever.

Nancy S.

 

Testimony 46

Over the past couple of years God has been expanding my view of Himself and His character. Along my approximately 40-year journey, I have often had questions, but was hesitant to voice these and step outside the traditionally accepted thinking, for fear of admitting that I may in fact be eternally lost. In the recesses of my thinking has been the thought – if one blindly accepts (which is widely regarded as “real faith”) and does not question, is this really ‘truth?’ I often find it challenging to grapple with very theological ‘speak,’ but Dr. Jennings has a real gift of explaining spiritual concepts with clear practical examples. The weekly discussions are growing my Christian experience and slowly changing my view of how to live as a child of God in today’s complex world. Finally the whole Old Testament sanctuary teaching moved in my mind from fantasy to reality!

Beverly S., South Africa

 

Testimony 51

I Love This Ministry!!!!!!! I see first hand how this message is desperately needed, how erroneous beliefs about God and His Character negatively affect humanity at every level. I thank God for your ministry, as I was searching on my own and was discovering some of your same beliefs and was blown away when I found your ministry. I know you hear it all the time, but it is truly life changing. May God continue to reveal His Will to you and Bless you!

Eric S., Sanford, FL, USA

 

Testimony 5

We listen to your bible studies lessons in our class in Montana. You actually were the main reason I decided to get a laptop, so I can go to your site and listen, read, learn, and print the class notes. I am so grateful to learn the correct view of God and his character. Now, to just have others have an interest in knowing, so I can share it with them. Good thoughts your way.

R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 14

We really appreciate your views on the judgment and they make good sense considering our free choice.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 60

Just watched watched lesson 10 in the 1st quarter 2021 bible study classs on Isaiah. I want to thank you for your intellectual spirituality; it’s not an oxymoron! From the point of view of a teacher I also enjoy seeing how much personal pleasure you clearly take in not just tasting, but feasting on God’s word – it reminds me of Jeremiah not being able to hold it in! It makes me smile that your cup is so full and overflowing that you make it to Tuesday’s lesson (on a good day). It just goes to show the richness of God’s Word.

God bless the Come and Reason Team from our church here in Great Britain.

Andrew H., Great Britain

 

Testimony 2

I continue to enjoy your lessons every week. The more that I research your conclusions, the more I am convinced that the Holy Spirit has lead you to distill out the essence of human redemption. Thank you for your courageous stand for the truth.

S. G., TX, USA

 

Testimony 53

I was so blessed by a friend who gave me your book, “The God Shaped Brain,” while I was sitting in church asking God to please help me learn more about Him and help me not to be so confused and scared. That was about 2 years ago. Your books have helped me to love God even more. I’m not confused or scared anymore! I have listened to all of your bible study classes and feel like I know the wonderful people that attend every week. Thank you for all that you’re doing in spreading the true message about God and His law of love. God bless you and your whole class.

Elssy P., Modesto, CA, USA

 

Testimony 69

After reading your book, ‘Could It Be This Simple,’ someone was explaining Christianity in a way that made sense to me for the first time in my life. One morning, I simply prayed “I’m sorry and I love you.” As soon as I silently said that, I could literally feel God’s presence and light flood down on me from above and fill me up with love and joy. I sat there crying my eyes out, because I was so overpowered with this feeling of love and joy. It was just so incredible. I hope that more people can read this book and get a blessing from it. It’s really amazing.

Rachael H.

Testimony 9

I really enjoy with you the view of a gracious God. Thank you for sharing the work you are allowing the Lord to do in you.

L., Queensland, Australia

 

Testimony 25

I just want to say thank you so much for your conversations via YouTube. I regularly tune in to your lectures, “Let’s Talk” sessions, and many others. Through these I’ve found greater depth and meaning to God’s word. Thanks for all that you do and please continue. I’m currently working in the middle of Silicon Valley at Stanford University. I feel like God really has me in the right place right now and I’m sensing that your teachings might be part of it.

B. F., Silicon Valley, CA, USA

 

Testimony 68

Your message of design law vs imperial law is so uplifting and makes so much sense- it is a game changer for me. The fact that Jesus’s death is not a big payment by an angry God is , quite frankly, a relief.

Laura G., London, Ontario, Canada

 

Testimony 42

I am just writing to say that I have been so blessed by the teachings of Come And Reason Minitries recently. I watched last week’s bible study lesson on Youtube and am thankful that the error in the printed lesson guide you use was pointed out and this week’s study was of equal benefit, if not more so. My understanding of God’s nature has been very confused of late and I am so grateful for clarity in this matter. I have never really fully understood previously how a good God can cause bad things to happen and now I realise that He doesn’t, it’s a natural consequence of sin. May the almighty Father and His Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, continue to bless your ministry.

Laura P., United Kingdom

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa