Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
How to Care for Self Without Being Selfish

How to Care for Self Without Being Selfish

I do have a matter that presses on my heart that I would like some clarification on.  It is that of self-care.

I know you encourage self-care and I do understand the importance of what I think self-care is, however, in this day and age of people crying out for “me” time, are there any biblical principles that clarify what self-care is?

Thanks and many blessings

You have asked a question that has troubled many good Christians over the years. How do we care for ourselves, without being selfish? How can a selfish being love themselves in healthy ways?

As I have explored this question the real issue is rarely, if ever, behaviour, but instead is always about the attitudes and motivations of the heart.

All too often we focus only on outward appearance. We make a list of sanctioned behaviours which when performed are acknowledged by many religious communities as beneficial. But when we “caring” for ourselves, we must inquire, “What is my motive? Why am I exercising and eating right?” Is it to obtain a beautiful physique to attract sexual partners? Is it to have the healthiest mind and body possible in order to fulfill God’s purpose in my life?

The only possible way to care for oneself in a healthy way is to first surrender oneself to Jesus Christ. When we have come to know God and Christ, as Jesus revealed them to be, and through our connection with Them overcome our inherent fear and actually place our lives into their hands, then we can begin self-care as God designed.

Self-care, as God designed, is the process of caring for the Temple in which His Spirit dwells. It is using one’s abilities and resources to promote His kingdom – which is the kingdom of love and truth. When we recognize we are not live only to ourselves, but our lives impact and effect others, then we begin to awaken to the awesome privilege of participating with God to witness for Him.

The real issue in self-care is motive. When we have surrendered self, placed Christ first in the heart and seek to honour Him with our lives, then self care becomes more easily focused. Christ, who came to bless and save, took time away from the crowds, not for self-indulgence, but for strengthening, refocusing, and for physical and spiritual strengthening so He would be more able to bless when with the crowds. Likewise, when our hearts are surrendered to Christ, we set healthy boundaries, we seek to use our energies to uplift and bless, we don’t become doormats exploited and walked upon by others, but make intelligent choices to maintain the physical, mental and emotional health of God’s creation for the purpose of fulfilling His calling in our lives!

In summary what are some Biblical principles in self-care?

  1. Keep the focus on God – do all to His honour and glory. Is the activity in caring for self one that will be honourable to Him? Would God be smiling with you in the activity?
  2. Keep the focus on others, will the activity rejuvenate, restore or equip you for further ministry?
  3. Practice healthy living, which includes God’s dietary guidelines, exercise, sleep, avoidance of toxins, all of which promote the health of the Spirit Temple. God’s love for you doesn’t change if you choose to not follow His design for physical health. However, when we violate God’s health principles we become sick and less capable of ministering to others and instead often need others to minister to us.
  4. Meditate and daily commune with God. Only in a vital personal connection with God can we know our duty for each day.
  5. Live up to the truth you know. When we live outside of the truth, the conscience convicts us of guilt and this has a heavy physiological and psychological toll and undermines our usefulness for God.
  6. Set healthy boundaries. Learn to say no. One of Satan’s traps to destroy God’s workers is to get them to accept more burdens than they can actually fulfill. Self-health requires avoiding over taxation of the self, avoiding over extending oneself and maintaining time for both physical and psychological rest and recovery.

If others have discovered practical principles for healthy self care please share them so we may all learn from each other.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 44

We were given a gift of the DVD set, “God and Your Brain,” and we just finished watching it. The truths in this are so powerful and truly an answer to a prayer. We’re seeing hope where once we thought God wasn’t answering our prayers to be free of certain mindsets. He answered with these DVDs and we are hungry for more. Thank you!

Daniel T., Easley, SC, USA

 

Testimony 14

We really appreciate your views on the judgment and they make good sense considering our free choice.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 18

The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 57

You have helped make sense of thirty two years of confusion. The material you freely provide reorganized so much of my life into such a beautiful pattern that has always been hinted at from within, but misguided with my training and what I was experiencing externally. My filipno parents, who were converted from Catholicism to SDA, were sincere and did their best to raise me the right way and I have deep respect for them. However, being immigrants and not understanding the language made for a difficult transition as I was growing up, which also applied to my spiritual growth as I learned the patterns of religion. I have been listening to as many bible study classes and reading blog posts as my time in a work truck will allow, searching for the practical applications of where spirituality and reality meet, and I thank you for helping me find that. You have helped me reach a point in which I can truly say that I love God, that I believe He loves me, and, like David, I delight in His law. God bless.

Emmanuel V., Calgary, AB Canada

Testimony 75

Thank you so much for everything you do! Because of all these truths, I’m excited to be with Jesus! I always pray everyday, “COME TODAY, JESUS.” Before finding C&R, I was always praying for delays, “NOT TODAY OH GOD. I AM NOT READY.” I just need to share more, talk more bout this truth, so everybody will be excited for Jesus.

J C Shin

Testimony 5

We listen to your bible studies lessons in our class in Montana. You actually were the main reason I decided to get a laptop, so I can go to your site and listen, read, learn, and print the class notes. I am so grateful to learn the correct view of God and his character. Now, to just have others have an interest in knowing, so I can share it with them. Good thoughts your way.

R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 76

Warm greetings from Tanzania! I just wanted to take a moment to thank you and your team at Come And Reason Ministries for the amazing work you do. Your teachings have opened my eyes to deep biblical truths and how to live them out in real life. I started following the ministry back in 2018, and ever since, my walk with God has grown so much stronger. I’ve found freedom from fear-based faith and now live with more peace and trust in Him. I’ve also been sharing what I’ve learned, especially through Bible School discussions. Your lessons are so insightful and well-explained that I try not to miss a single one. May God continue to bless the work you’re doing.
Elisha M., Tanzania, Africa

Testimony 74

Thank you so much for opening my eyes. I’ve been through a lot of ministries that just didn’t show the love of God that I felt he was. You have helped me to begin the process of true healing. I thought I was “too far gone,” now I know there’s hope in Jesus, because he loves us beyond what we can comprehend. Thank you again for all you do. I truly appreciate it and pray more people find you (physical at your studio and through this website).

Dalio M.

Testimony 61

I grew up in a prominent protestant church and had what I like to call religious anxiety. I’ve always had questions about God and Salvation that no one could seem to answer.  I didn’t know how to find resolution. During 2020, at the height of my anxiety, I fell to my knees and begged God to show me truth and light and to give me the hope that I’ve been longing for. Days later, I stumbled upon your online videos and it was like a veil was lifted and EVERYTHING made sense! For the first time in my almost 39 years of life, my religious/spiritual anxiety has lessened. I feel a sense of freedom and peace I’ve NEVER had before… and it’s all because my view of God has changed. Thank you!

Ashleighn C.

 

Testimony 17

The blessings of clarity and understanding you and your class inspire me to take from the word of God have impressed upon me so greatly the true, loving character of our Creator. I have found amazing freedom and joy through building a stronger, more intentional relationship with Him. What is new is that this is now a relationship built on love, reverence and respect rather than fear and obligation, and as such my eyes have been slammed OPEN as I am continually impressed by the manifestations of God’s true character in His provisions for fallen man.

T.E.H., Salt Lake City, UT, USA

 

Testimony 15

I have been sharing Come And Reason Ministries Bible study lessons with several folk. You have such a beautiful view of the plan of salvation. If we had this message preached when I was young, my generation would still all be in church.

H. R., New Zealand

Testimony 46

Over the past couple of years God has been expanding my view of Himself and His character. Along my approximately 40-year journey, I have often had questions, but was hesitant to voice these and step outside the traditionally accepted thinking, for fear of admitting that I may in fact be eternally lost. In the recesses of my thinking has been the thought – if one blindly accepts (which is widely regarded as “real faith”) and does not question, is this really ‘truth?’ I often find it challenging to grapple with very theological ‘speak,’ but Dr. Jennings has a real gift of explaining spiritual concepts with clear practical examples. The weekly discussions are growing my Christian experience and slowly changing my view of how to live as a child of God in today’s complex world. Finally the whole Old Testament sanctuary teaching moved in my mind from fantasy to reality!

Beverly S., South Africa

 

Testimony 50

After coming into contact with Come And Reason Ministries, I can finally say that many of my unanswered questions have fallen into place. I discovered that my view of God’s Law was “imposed laws and rules” with “imposed punishments” and that this was the major culprit of my many unanswered questions. Thanks be to God for using you and those around you to help us who have struggled with this “infection” of thought. I have now rejected the “imposed law” concept to fully embrace “Design Law”… to look thru “Design Law,” instead of “imposed law,” is a relief.

Viliami L., Australia

 

Testimony 41

I have been blessed by your ministry. I have experienced personally, and deeply resonate with, the God of love and the beautiful picture of God’s character that you present. I have seen your seminar series on YouTube, read ‘The Journal of the Watcher’ book, used your mobile app, and also listen/study the bible study lesson with you each week. I concur with many of the thoughts and perspectives that you share. I understand your conclusions on natural laws vs imposed law and the legal/penal substitution (incorrect diagnosis). This makes perfect sense to me.

Bless you for all you do.

Melissa L.

 

Testimony 48

I just want to tell you how blessed I have been reading “The Remedy!” It has become a daily part of my devotional relationship with God. In it I have found a God of love and a God that loves me! The bible has come alive for me! It is the first time that I can say that I have felt hope fill my heart as I have read God’s word. This is good news I can share! Thank you, Dr Jennings! Thank you for your heart for others. I can’t put into words how this has set me free! It has strengthened my trust and love for God.

Jason H.