Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Selflessness and Bible Psychology

Selflessness and Bible Psychology

Regarding your belief that God is love and love is selfless and that the core of Christianity is that human hearts are selfish instead of selfless and other-centred how do you reconcile that with the belief that some women/mothers are selfless and self-sacrifing?

What would your opinion be of this quote by  Luciano L’Abate, Charles H. Bryson

“Selfless mothers produce selfish men (sons) who will grow up to be to opposite of them and like their fathers, and selfless women(daughters) who learn to be very much like their mothers.”

Personally i think the above quote is just an unproven theory & generalisation but isn’t it true that selflessness can sometimes be detrimental? For example, the picture of the selfless, rundown mother who always gives to her children & husband but never for herself. Couldn’t a selfless and other centred heart sometimes be detrimental to a person?

Also how do you reconcile your psychiatric beliefs with the beliefs of Martin & Deidre Bobgan that all psychiatry and psychology is heretical and not biblical,that Christ’s death was sufficient and that psychology prevents sanctification and is man made wisdom and not Godly?

M


Can you please talk about the principle of turning the other cheek as found in Luke 6:29:

If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.

Twice, people have used that principle to say Christians shouldn’t defend themselves when verbally or otherwise attacked. 

C


Thanks for great questions.

The key to understanding this issue is a proper definition of love and selflessness. Love, is other-centered regard, being more concerned for the good, health, welfare of the other party than for oneself. Notice, love is concerned for the good, health, welfare of the other party – not what the other party believes is good for them, but what actually is good for them.

I was in the mall one day just watching the people. As I looked out from the second floor balcony I watched as a mother and her young son (approximately 5 years old) came to a fork in the walkway. The mother wanted to go to the right, but the son wanted to go straight. The son let go his mother’s hand and went forward about six paces. The mother stood there indicating they needed to go to the right. The son looked back at his mother and pointed at her demanding she come his way. He did this twice and the mother just stood there. Finally, the child angrily ran back to his mother punched her in the belly, kicked her in the shin and pointed to the ground for her to follow him – and she did.

Was this mother “loving” her child? Was she acting in “other-centered” regard? Was she doing what was in the best interest of her child? Of course not. This type of behavior is not love, it is not selflessness, it is not other-centered regard or compassion. It is selfishness arising from severe fear and insecurity, a dependent need on the part of the mother to do whatever it takes to keep the child happy with her. Such behaviors are gross counterfeits to genuine love, which does what is right, reasonable and healthy because it is right reasonable and healthy, not because others, even our children, agree.

Luke 6:29 is not a rule which is to be applied to all circumstances for Christ did not mean that parents should fail to discipline and instead allow their children to hit and abuse the them. Such distortion of Christ’s instructions occurs when we fail to understand what genuine love actually is. When we understand love promotes the long term health, wellness and eternal salvation of the other party then we are able to understand how to apply Christ’s instruction to turn the other cheek.

The idea that all psychiatry and psychology is opposed to God and God’s principles for healing come from failure to understand God’s creation, the problem sin caused and God’s solution for it. It is true that there are humanistic psychological models out there that oppose Godly principles, just as there are humanistic religions that oppose Godly principles. But, just because some religions oppose Godly principles doesn’t mean there isn’t a true religion centered in God’s character of love. Likewise, just because there are many godless philosophies within psychiatry and psychology, doesn’t mean there isn’t a healthy model of psychology which is built on God’s original design protocols.

In fact, the Bible says:

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2Cor 10:3-5

When we fight a war over arguments, knowledge, pretensions and thoughts where is the battle ground? Where is such a war fought? In the mind! Genuine spiritual warfare is a battle for the minds of God’s children. As Christians we are to be renewed in our minds, have the mind of Christ, have the law of God written on the heart and mind. Therefore, as a psychiatrist who understands God’s creation, the laws upon which He designed the universe to run, and His methods for reversing sin’s damaging effect upon mankind, I find myself on the frontline in the war between Christ and Satan. Therefore, I daily seek God’s wisdom to accurately diagnose and bring to bear interventions that will reverse the damage caused by violations of God’s methods, principles and design template for life and help restore my patient’s back to God’s original design.

In my book Could It Be This Simple? A Biblical Model for Healing the Mind, I document a psychology that is wholly built on Godly principles and leads to genuine healing of mind. If you haven’t read it consider checking it out and decide if this model is a psychology that is in harmony with God’s word.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 45

I have been confused for years about what [christianity] calls [its] most disgusting teaching. It has never made much sense to me and for that reason has been evermore empty. I have listened to your class off and on and have struggled determining what is truth, because of the resistance design law encounters in the church. So, I thank God for your ministry. What you teach makes sense. It’s logical and backed up by the power of love. I have never seen that in Christ until now. I am astounded by the insight that is found when we look at God’s ministry through design law. All strength to this message, as I believe it to be the power of God.

Brendon S.

 

Testimony 5

We listen to your bible studies lessons in our class in Montana. You actually were the main reason I decided to get a laptop, so I can go to your site and listen, read, learn, and print the class notes. I am so grateful to learn the correct view of God and his character. Now, to just have others have an interest in knowing, so I can share it with them. Good thoughts your way.

R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 61

I grew up in a prominent protestant church and had what I like to call religious anxiety. I’ve always had questions about God and Salvation that no one could seem to answer.  I didn’t know how to find resolution. During 2020, at the height of my anxiety, I fell to my knees and begged God to show me truth and light and to give me the hope that I’ve been longing for. Days later, I stumbled upon your online videos and it was like a veil was lifted and EVERYTHING made sense! For the first time in my almost 39 years of life, my religious/spiritual anxiety has lessened. I feel a sense of freedom and peace I’ve NEVER had before… and it’s all because my view of God has changed. Thank you!

Ashleighn C.

 

Testimony 39

[This ministry is the] biggest blessing I have ever received! Your DVDs and lessons could not have come at a better time in my life. I have experienced in the past year many difficulties that, if it wasn’t for this wonderful view of God that I have discovered through this ministry, I would not have been able to respond in love and forgiveness. My heart is being transformed everyday by the Calvary-looking God you teach. Hallelujah!! I have tears in my eyes as I write, because my life has taken a complete turn from where I was heading.

I am from Central America. Most of my family is scattered in different parts of the world and all have the same view of God that I had growing up; a distant, exacting, and ready-to-punish-us-with-tragedy type of God. So, I have been translating lessons for my family and, to my surprise, they have also been sharing them with others! I can already see the difference. My brother has often said, “Thank you for sharing, I have never heard it this way!” My other family members are taking an amazing turn from a message of “repent or burn” towards a loving God, pleading to us that we won’t reject him because he loves us eternally.

Bless you for all you do.

Sofia S., Ashfield, MA, USA

 

Testimony 17

The blessings of clarity and understanding you and your class inspire me to take from the word of God have impressed upon me so greatly the true, loving character of our Creator. I have found amazing freedom and joy through building a stronger, more intentional relationship with Him. What is new is that this is now a relationship built on love, reverence and respect rather than fear and obligation, and as such my eyes have been slammed OPEN as I am continually impressed by the manifestations of God’s true character in His provisions for fallen man.

T.E.H., Salt Lake City, UT, USA

 

Testimony 51

I Love This Ministry!!!!!!! I see first hand how this message is desperately needed, how erroneous beliefs about God and His Character negatively affect humanity at every level. I thank God for your ministry, as I was searching on my own and was discovering some of your same beliefs and was blown away when I found your ministry. I know you hear it all the time, but it is truly life changing. May God continue to reveal His Will to you and Bless you!

Eric S., Sanford, FL, USA

 

Testimony 32

The message [of Come And Reason Ministries is] for all Christians (and those who may become Christians) and not just Adventists or any other group. It is difficult to imagine why any [anyone] with intellectual and spiritual honesty could find fault with the way you explained the healing substitution concepts and the truth about God’s character, though I know some will reject and criticize. On behalf of those in our group near Tacoma, WA, thank you and your staff for all of the hard work and for sharing the Gospel in this manner. God’s message of healing love will be carried to the whole world and then Jesus will come – He promised it.

Terry U., Tacoma, WA, USA

 

Testimony 53

I was so blessed by a friend who gave me your book, “The God Shaped Brain,” while I was sitting in church asking God to please help me learn more about Him and help me not to be so confused and scared. That was about 2 years ago. Your books have helped me to love God even more. I’m not confused or scared anymore! I have listened to all of your bible study classes and feel like I know the wonderful people that attend every week. Thank you for all that you’re doing in spreading the true message about God and His law of love. God bless you and your whole class.

Elssy P., Modesto, CA, USA

 

Testimony 18

The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 56

I cannot thank you enough for opening my understanding to the beautiful truth of God’s Law of Love and how it applies to everything. I have been a Christian for over forty years, but I feel like I am only now seeing with my eyes open. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

Tammy Cinzio, Australia

 

Testimony 26

Your teachings about our heavenly Father have changed my life. Thank you sooooooo very very much! I know He’s doing some serious healing in my heart and life and I look forward to each new day to learn something new about Him and to just hear you speak about Him. Thank you, forever.

Nancy S.

 

Testimony 47

I can’t even begin to thank you and your ministry enough for introducing me to the Truth about a loving and merciful God! I have my daughter and her in-laws to thank for sharing with me “The God-Shaped Brain” as well as your website. I listen to the Bible study class lessons on my daily walk. May God continue to bless your thirst-quenching ministry!

Liz H., Port Angeles, WA, USA

 

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa

 

Testimony 74

Thank you so much for opening my eyes. I’ve been through a lot of ministries that just didn’t show the love of God that I felt he was. You have helped me to begin the process of true healing. I thought I was “too far gone,” now I know there’s hope in Jesus, because he loves us beyond what we can comprehend. Thank you again for all you do. I truly appreciate it and pray more people find you (physical at your studio and through this website).

Dalio M.

Testimony 58

I have been watching your videos in The Power of Love seminar and I must say these have liberated me and have improved my relationship with the Lord. I am no longer terrified of him as I was before following your teachings.

Thando N., South Africa