Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Selflessness and Bible Psychology

Selflessness and Bible Psychology

Regarding your belief that God is love and love is selfless and that the core of Christianity is that human hearts are selfish instead of selfless and other-centred how do you reconcile that with the belief that some women/mothers are selfless and self-sacrifing?

What would your opinion be of this quote by  Luciano L’Abate, Charles H. Bryson

“Selfless mothers produce selfish men (sons) who will grow up to be to opposite of them and like their fathers, and selfless women(daughters) who learn to be very much like their mothers.”

Personally i think the above quote is just an unproven theory & generalisation but isn’t it true that selflessness can sometimes be detrimental? For example, the picture of the selfless, rundown mother who always gives to her children & husband but never for herself. Couldn’t a selfless and other centred heart sometimes be detrimental to a person?

Also how do you reconcile your psychiatric beliefs with the beliefs of Martin & Deidre Bobgan that all psychiatry and psychology is heretical and not biblical,that Christ’s death was sufficient and that psychology prevents sanctification and is man made wisdom and not Godly?

M


Can you please talk about the principle of turning the other cheek as found in Luke 6:29:

If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.

Twice, people have used that principle to say Christians shouldn’t defend themselves when verbally or otherwise attacked. 

C


Thanks for great questions.

The key to understanding this issue is a proper definition of love and selflessness. Love, is other-centered regard, being more concerned for the good, health, welfare of the other party than for oneself. Notice, love is concerned for the good, health, welfare of the other party – not what the other party believes is good for them, but what actually is good for them.

I was in the mall one day just watching the people. As I looked out from the second floor balcony I watched as a mother and her young son (approximately 5 years old) came to a fork in the walkway. The mother wanted to go to the right, but the son wanted to go straight. The son let go his mother’s hand and went forward about six paces. The mother stood there indicating they needed to go to the right. The son looked back at his mother and pointed at her demanding she come his way. He did this twice and the mother just stood there. Finally, the child angrily ran back to his mother punched her in the belly, kicked her in the shin and pointed to the ground for her to follow him – and she did.

Was this mother “loving” her child? Was she acting in “other-centered” regard? Was she doing what was in the best interest of her child? Of course not. This type of behavior is not love, it is not selflessness, it is not other-centered regard or compassion. It is selfishness arising from severe fear and insecurity, a dependent need on the part of the mother to do whatever it takes to keep the child happy with her. Such behaviors are gross counterfeits to genuine love, which does what is right, reasonable and healthy because it is right reasonable and healthy, not because others, even our children, agree.

Luke 6:29 is not a rule which is to be applied to all circumstances for Christ did not mean that parents should fail to discipline and instead allow their children to hit and abuse the them. Such distortion of Christ’s instructions occurs when we fail to understand what genuine love actually is. When we understand love promotes the long term health, wellness and eternal salvation of the other party then we are able to understand how to apply Christ’s instruction to turn the other cheek.

The idea that all psychiatry and psychology is opposed to God and God’s principles for healing come from failure to understand God’s creation, the problem sin caused and God’s solution for it. It is true that there are humanistic psychological models out there that oppose Godly principles, just as there are humanistic religions that oppose Godly principles. But, just because some religions oppose Godly principles doesn’t mean there isn’t a true religion centered in God’s character of love. Likewise, just because there are many godless philosophies within psychiatry and psychology, doesn’t mean there isn’t a healthy model of psychology which is built on God’s original design protocols.

In fact, the Bible says:

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2Cor 10:3-5

When we fight a war over arguments, knowledge, pretensions and thoughts where is the battle ground? Where is such a war fought? In the mind! Genuine spiritual warfare is a battle for the minds of God’s children. As Christians we are to be renewed in our minds, have the mind of Christ, have the law of God written on the heart and mind. Therefore, as a psychiatrist who understands God’s creation, the laws upon which He designed the universe to run, and His methods for reversing sin’s damaging effect upon mankind, I find myself on the frontline in the war between Christ and Satan. Therefore, I daily seek God’s wisdom to accurately diagnose and bring to bear interventions that will reverse the damage caused by violations of God’s methods, principles and design template for life and help restore my patient’s back to God’s original design.

In my book Could It Be This Simple? A Biblical Model for Healing the Mind, I document a psychology that is wholly built on Godly principles and leads to genuine healing of mind. If you haven’t read it consider checking it out and decide if this model is a psychology that is in harmony with God’s word.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 35

I am so pleased with the response your message is receiving at my church from the middle-aged to the young adults. I have given out 100 copies of the first two seminars and there are more request every week. One of my [class members] came to me after viewing the series, grateful and impressed with how easy the message was retained. He had been a Seventh-day Adventist in fear all his life, and felt like the scales were removed from his eyes after viewing the seminars. I am so impressed by the change I see in members who have received this message, we are in one accord. However, I am sadden by the negative response of the older people. I am verbally attacked anytime I talk about imposed laws, but I believe my mission is to enlightened everyone I can. I watch your Bible Study Class on YouTube every Friday night and I feel like I am apart of the class. All of you are in one accord and I am so blessed to have found you. I pray that all of you continue to spread this message and I am committed to doing my part.

Clara S., Westfield, MA, USA

 

Testimony 9

I really enjoy with you the view of a gracious God. Thank you for sharing the work you are allowing the Lord to do in you.

L., Queensland, Australia

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa

 

Testimony 3

My husband is a pastor and I listen to your lesson almost every week. Thank you for helping me in my study life and to help me love the “real” God more.

C. F., NC, USA

 

Testimony 68

Your message of design law vs imperial law is so uplifting and makes so much sense- it is a game changer for me. The fact that Jesus’s death is not a big payment by an angry God is , quite frankly, a relief.

Laura G., London, Ontario, Canada

 

Testimony 57

You have helped make sense of thirty two years of confusion. The material you freely provide reorganized so much of my life into such a beautiful pattern that has always been hinted at from within, but misguided with my training and what I was experiencing externally. My filipno parents, who were converted from Catholicism to SDA, were sincere and did their best to raise me the right way and I have deep respect for them. However, being immigrants and not understanding the language made for a difficult transition as I was growing up, which also applied to my spiritual growth as I learned the patterns of religion. I have been listening to as many bible study classes and reading blog posts as my time in a work truck will allow, searching for the practical applications of where spirituality and reality meet, and I thank you for helping me find that. You have helped me reach a point in which I can truly say that I love God, that I believe He loves me, and, like David, I delight in His law. God bless.

Emmanuel V., Calgary, AB Canada

Testimony 71

When I was 9 years old, I remember setting at our devotional table with a hunger and thirst for God that wanted more, deeper, BETTER. I can remember literally crying and pounding on the table, “I know these teachers didn’t mean to give us error. They taught what THEY had been TAUGHT, but didn’t ANYBODY READ THE BOOK?!?!?” It mattered to me then. It mattered to me as a teenager. It matters now as I teach bible classes. It didn’t have to be so hard as I watched so many give up and lay God’s great plan and gift of salvation aside as being “impossible.” Then, a friend sent me a link to Come And Reason’s website. I grew excited. YES! FINALLY! Then another friend told me to stay away, saying her son had just broken up with a girl because she was involved with Come And Reason and that “Tim Jennings preaches a false gospel.” But, AFTER many years of developing an authentic and, dare I say FUN relationship with Jesus, through the Holy Spirit I see this message has been around a LONG time, since the apostle Paul, Ellen White, Graham Maxwell, Ray Foucher, and yourself (though I admit, you’ve made me back up, rewind and replay the clips, and get out my well-worn Bible on a few things.) I’m so thankful I have found LIGHT during these DARK days. I am not alone.

Vicki DiNitto

Testimony 33

I was invited over a friend’s house to see the “God and Your Brain” seminar today. I became [a christian] 36 years ago at the age of 19, but have struggled with the concept of God taking His ‘pound of flesh’ out on His Son to be appeased. Wow. Your seminar has been an incredible revelation and breath of reason and fresh air! I have your book, “The God Shaped Brain,” and it is SO eye opening. Finally, after 36 years enlightenment has come! Praise the Good Lord! What can I say, but that the Real Gospel is truly “Good News!” Thank you for your efforts in giving the Gospel a clear sound!

Paul C.,  Springfield, MA, USA

 

Testimony 42

I am just writing to say that I have been so blessed by the teachings of Come And Reason Minitries recently. I watched last week’s bible study lesson on Youtube and am thankful that the error in the printed lesson guide you use was pointed out and this week’s study was of equal benefit, if not more so. My understanding of God’s nature has been very confused of late and I am so grateful for clarity in this matter. I have never really fully understood previously how a good God can cause bad things to happen and now I realise that He doesn’t, it’s a natural consequence of sin. May the almighty Father and His Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, continue to bless your ministry.

Laura P., United Kingdom

 

Testimony 13

I borrowed “Healing The Mind” DVDs from a friend and showed them at my home for a small gathering of women friends. Neither of my friends are Adventist, but they both enjoyed and embraced the messages you taught. In fact, one of the ladies prayed out loud in our group and that was the first time she had ever had public prayer.

J.B. ,Dalles, OR, USA

 

Testimony 18

The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 36

Thank you and may God continue to bless you as you share with others the intricacies of how we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”. I must share that you have opened a whole new world to me, and I have found tremendous healing through what you have shared in two of your books, “Could It Be This Simple?” and “The God Shaped Brain.” I praise God for what you shared, what I have learned, and how I have grown and healed! My prayer is that My Precious Jesus will be seen by others in the way I live, act, talk, etc. and they may be encouraged to know He is truly a GREAT God of LOVE, desiring that no one should perish! God Bless you in your continued endeavors to present Him as He really is!

Joleen H. GA, USA

 

Testimony 56

I cannot thank you enough for opening my understanding to the beautiful truth of God’s Law of Love and how it applies to everything. I have been a Christian for over forty years, but I feel like I am only now seeing with my eyes open. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

Tammy Cinzio, Australia

 

Testimony 20

I just wanted to personally thank you for your teachings and insight into scripture. I came across your website via my cousin who suggested I look into “Healing the Mind” information. My youngest daughter has been struggling over the last couple of years and it all came to a head this spring. When I started listening to the “Healing the Mind” lectures my own life began to be transformed. I began sharing with all my daughters the concepts you laid out so clearly. I ordered your book and soaked it up. I just want to say “Thank You!” My walk with the Lord has been refreshed and renewed. Your obedience to the Lord is a blessing to so many.

R. K., Anderson, SC, USA

 

Testimony 25

I just want to say thank you so much for your conversations via YouTube. I regularly tune in to your lectures, “Let’s Talk” sessions, and many others. Through these I’ve found greater depth and meaning to God’s word. Thanks for all that you do and please continue. I’m currently working in the middle of Silicon Valley at Stanford University. I feel like God really has me in the right place right now and I’m sensing that your teachings might be part of it.

B. F., Silicon Valley, CA, USA