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Reaching a Wayward Child

Reaching a Wayward Child

Dear Dr. Jennings,

Would you be kind and provide information on the topic of how to reach my one and only son, who is lost and still in the ”PIG PEN” like a prodigal son but does not make an effort or has the will to change his life.  He does not appear to have vision for his life or willingness to listen to any advise.

I have been praying over 20 years for salvation and it is heart breaking to watch my son being so lost and so weak.

Please help if you can.


Your struggle and heartache is not yours alone. Millions of parents are also longing to see a wayward child experience the joys of intimacy with Christ and transformation of character His presence brings. I wish I had some secret truth that could be applied which would guarantee success, unfortunately, because each person has freewill, such a commodity does not exist.

We must recognize no matter how great our love and heartache for a child, God’s love and desire for their salvation is infinitely more intense that our own. Yet, even God cannot save a soul against the will of that individual, else everyone would be saved.

As a starting point we must know God is for our children. God longs more intensely for your child than you have capacity to experience and God will provide all that is needed to reach and save your child. With this knowledge in mind one never has to “plead” with God to get Him oriented toward saving your child, or interested in saving your child, or willing to save. He already is.

Instead our conversations with God should pursue wisdom, ability, and insight into any action that we can take that would be a positive influence for our loved one toward God’s kingdom. Further, we must reach out to God with an eternal perspective and pray “take the gloves off,” meaning “God do whatever it takes to shake my child out of their lethargy, complacency or stupor.”

Recognize, this is, from an earthly perspective, a dangerous prayer. What if the only way that your child will be shaken into reexamining their life is to end up in prison? Would you be at peace with that? What if the only way to awaken your child to think about eternal realities is if they get cancer? Or if you get cancer? Would you be okay with that?

God’s perspective is that of eternity. He knows the secrets of each heart and He knows whether a heart remains open or is permanently closed. He also knows what will motivate a person to “reconsider” their situation and can bring this to bear. But God doesn’t force His way into a person’s life against their will. God is constantly working for the salvation of every human being, but within the framework of His character and principles. This means God, who grants us genuine freedom, respects the person who tells Him to leave them alone, but He also respects the prayer of the mother who asks He go intercede in her behalf, thus our prayers open avenues for God into the lives of our family and friends.

Our prayers also open our minds to God’s influence and allow us to grow in grace and love and wisdom to become more effective conduits of God’s love and grace.

With all of this in mind, from my experience, here are some of the obstacles I have observed in individual lives that keep them from surrendering their lives to God?

  • Misperception of God – Ask a person to tell you about the God they don’t believe in or trust. You might find the God they describe doesn’t deserve to be believed in. Then     ask God for wisdom to help reveal the truth about God.
  • Ignorance of His law – Most people have accepted some aspect of an Imperial Roman Imposed law idea for God’s law. If one believes God imposes law like Rome, then one will draw all kinds of distortions about God, which undermine trust, like God must impose penalties to punish law breakers etc. As we see the truth that God’s law is the design template for life, and violations are incompatible with life, as God designed it, then we realize God’s’ interventions are to heal and save from our own terminal condition and not to inflict punishment.
  • Accepting lies about our existence (evolution) – A dialogue regarding the multiple false assumptions that underpin this thinking can be beneficial to cause cognitive dissonance and open the mind to consider the truth about God.
  • Unresolved anger – Individuals who have been mistreated often have anger and trust issues that they blame upon God and have not been able to reconcile the idea of a loving God with the reality of their own abusive mistreatment. Such questions need to be resolved in order to come back to a relationship with God.
  • Complacency, laziness, entrenched habits – Often the only antidote to this is harsh reality. As Paul said, those who do not work shall not eat.
  • Unhealthy attachments to things or people, unwillingness to go through loss that change brings – Exploring the evidence of how the unhealthy attachments have brought pain, suffering, destruction can bring the insight needed to initiate a change. However, the person may still, despite the understanding of the need to cut certain relationships, still experience grief and loss. Validate and give permission to grieve the loss.
  • Loss of hope (believe lie have gone to far, committed unpardonable sin) – Provide assurance that if one has this concern, fear, anxiety, that such concern is itself evidence they have not committed the unpardonable sin. Explore with them what they believe is so horrible and then love them and demonstrate that your love is not dependent upon their behavior, but that their behavior changes and impacts themselves.
  • A hardened heart – One can only be patient, kind, loving and gentle, praying God’s interventions to reach such a one. Remember, “it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.” As we can love those who hate us we can be effective witnesses to a God such a person has never known. This takes a personal experience with God and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit – a daily surrender of self to God.

With a prayerful heart inquire of God for wisdom regarding any obstacles that hinder your child from reexamining their relationship with God, and if there are any actions you can take to address those obstacles. If there is no known specific action you can take that would positively influence your child, then ask God to bring whatever is necessary into your child’s life to shake them out of their complacency and give opportunity for reexamination of their life and heart. And always remember – God loves and longs for your child even more than you!

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Testimony 49

I came into the church at 21, but that is as far as it went. I was so confused about what love is. I couldn’t find it in the bible, because I am not a person that can read between the lines. I have no logic. I have read many, many books; trying to figure out the crux of the matter. They were helpful, but something was still missing. I have become very frustrated to the point of crying out to God, “Where can I go?”  I needed some basics.

I found two books, written by Timothy Jennings, MD, to be very helpful. God showed me that I had lived my whole life in fear. I didn’t even see it. Now, I do. God is so good.  I discovered the “The Remedy”  Dr. Jennings new book, “The God-Shaped Heart!” Oh, I was so excited, I purchased them right away.

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My heart thrills when I listen to your bible study lessons. Literally I have gone from death to life. It is a journey I look forward to every day, as God reveals areas this distortion affects. Praise GOD! I will ever be grateful to God for this ministry and your cooperation with the Spirit!

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Testimony 34

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Testimony 40

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Testimony 69

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Testimony 23

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Testimony 38

Since November 2015, when I started studying Gods word from this God Is Love point of view, my life has been transformed. My troubled marriage of 15 years has been healed and my husband and I are truly happy for the first time in 15 years. Now When I read the word of God I understand it so much better and I can’t help but see Gods love radiating through the pages to humanity. Gods word is living and active and I am blessed beyond measure to be having this amazing experience. God has given me a beautiful understanding of Jn 3:16 that amazes me more and more each day. Thank you again for your ministry.

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Testimony 52

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Testimony 14

We really appreciate your views on the judgment and they make good sense considering our free choice.

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Testimony 59

I’m a native Ghanan, but am currently in France for my master’s degree. Prior to this, during my final years at undergraduate studies in Ghana, I was introduced to your ministry and I’ve been immensely blessed by what you share, especially about the Design and Imposed Laws. God richly bless you for that.

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Testimony 11

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Testimony 37

Hearing Dr. Jennings’ presentations in person came at a pivotal moment in my spiritual journey that began about nine months ago, when the fault lines inherent in my belief system began to crack under questions that most reasonable people end up asking about God and His nature. These were questions I couldn’t find answers to, and they shook my faith. I was unable let it go any longer and be satisfied. My Christian experience became distant. I was afraid; the fear in me rose like thorns, pushing me away from Jesus. And then someone heard my questions and introduced me to this ministry, and my life has totally changed.

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I walk this path now without fear. I see people differently, and the Holy Spirit burns in my heart. Many call Dr. Jennings’ message false and compromising, but it isn’t false, because I’ve seen the fruits within my mind and body. It is not compromising, because in this message is the only road to holiness that makes any sense. No longer do I behold a pagan god who is always angry and suspicious. Instead, I behold a God who is freeing and loving, always working for our good, and giving me every reason to love my enemy even to my own death, just as Jesus pleads with us. God is good.

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Testimony 71

When I was 9 years old, I remember setting at our devotional table with a hunger and thirst for God that wanted more, deeper, BETTER. I can remember literally crying and pounding on the table, “I know these teachers didn’t mean to give us error. They taught what THEY had been TAUGHT, but didn’t ANYBODY READ THE BOOK?!?!?” It mattered to me then. It mattered to me as a teenager. It matters now as I teach bible classes. It didn’t have to be so hard as I watched so many give up and lay God’s great plan and gift of salvation aside as being “impossible.” Then, a friend sent me a link to Come And Reason’s website. I grew excited. YES! FINALLY! Then another friend told me to stay away, saying her son had just broken up with a girl because she was involved with Come And Reason and that “Tim Jennings preaches a false gospel.” But, AFTER many years of developing an authentic and, dare I say FUN relationship with Jesus, through the Holy Spirit I see this message has been around a LONG time, since the apostle Paul, Ellen White, Graham Maxwell, Ray Foucher, and yourself (though I admit, you’ve made me back up, rewind and replay the clips, and get out my well-worn Bible on a few things.) I’m so thankful I have found LIGHT during these DARK days. I am not alone.

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Testimony 18

The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

Anonymous