Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Reaching a Wayward Child

Reaching a Wayward Child

Dear Dr. Jennings,

Would you be kind and provide information on the topic of how to reach my one and only son, who is lost and still in the ”PIG PEN” like a prodigal son but does not make an effort or has the will to change his life.  He does not appear to have vision for his life or willingness to listen to any advise.

I have been praying over 20 years for salvation and it is heart breaking to watch my son being so lost and so weak.

Please help if you can.


Your struggle and heartache is not yours alone. Millions of parents are also longing to see a wayward child experience the joys of intimacy with Christ and transformation of character His presence brings. I wish I had some secret truth that could be applied which would guarantee success, unfortunately, because each person has freewill, such a commodity does not exist.

We must recognize no matter how great our love and heartache for a child, God’s love and desire for their salvation is infinitely more intense that our own. Yet, even God cannot save a soul against the will of that individual, else everyone would be saved.

As a starting point we must know God is for our children. God longs more intensely for your child than you have capacity to experience and God will provide all that is needed to reach and save your child. With this knowledge in mind one never has to “plead” with God to get Him oriented toward saving your child, or interested in saving your child, or willing to save. He already is.

Instead our conversations with God should pursue wisdom, ability, and insight into any action that we can take that would be a positive influence for our loved one toward God’s kingdom. Further, we must reach out to God with an eternal perspective and pray “take the gloves off,” meaning “God do whatever it takes to shake my child out of their lethargy, complacency or stupor.”

Recognize, this is, from an earthly perspective, a dangerous prayer. What if the only way that your child will be shaken into reexamining their life is to end up in prison? Would you be at peace with that? What if the only way to awaken your child to think about eternal realities is if they get cancer? Or if you get cancer? Would you be okay with that?

God’s perspective is that of eternity. He knows the secrets of each heart and He knows whether a heart remains open or is permanently closed. He also knows what will motivate a person to “reconsider” their situation and can bring this to bear. But God doesn’t force His way into a person’s life against their will. God is constantly working for the salvation of every human being, but within the framework of His character and principles. This means God, who grants us genuine freedom, respects the person who tells Him to leave them alone, but He also respects the prayer of the mother who asks He go intercede in her behalf, thus our prayers open avenues for God into the lives of our family and friends.

Our prayers also open our minds to God’s influence and allow us to grow in grace and love and wisdom to become more effective conduits of God’s love and grace.

With all of this in mind, from my experience, here are some of the obstacles I have observed in individual lives that keep them from surrendering their lives to God?

  • Misperception of God – Ask a person to tell you about the God they don’t believe in or trust. You might find the God they describe doesn’t deserve to be believed in. Then     ask God for wisdom to help reveal the truth about God.
  • Ignorance of His law – Most people have accepted some aspect of an Imperial Roman Imposed law idea for God’s law. If one believes God imposes law like Rome, then one will draw all kinds of distortions about God, which undermine trust, like God must impose penalties to punish law breakers etc. As we see the truth that God’s law is the design template for life, and violations are incompatible with life, as God designed it, then we realize God’s’ interventions are to heal and save from our own terminal condition and not to inflict punishment.
  • Accepting lies about our existence (evolution) – A dialogue regarding the multiple false assumptions that underpin this thinking can be beneficial to cause cognitive dissonance and open the mind to consider the truth about God.
  • Unresolved anger – Individuals who have been mistreated often have anger and trust issues that they blame upon God and have not been able to reconcile the idea of a loving God with the reality of their own abusive mistreatment. Such questions need to be resolved in order to come back to a relationship with God.
  • Complacency, laziness, entrenched habits – Often the only antidote to this is harsh reality. As Paul said, those who do not work shall not eat.
  • Unhealthy attachments to things or people, unwillingness to go through loss that change brings – Exploring the evidence of how the unhealthy attachments have brought pain, suffering, destruction can bring the insight needed to initiate a change. However, the person may still, despite the understanding of the need to cut certain relationships, still experience grief and loss. Validate and give permission to grieve the loss.
  • Loss of hope (believe lie have gone to far, committed unpardonable sin) – Provide assurance that if one has this concern, fear, anxiety, that such concern is itself evidence they have not committed the unpardonable sin. Explore with them what they believe is so horrible and then love them and demonstrate that your love is not dependent upon their behavior, but that their behavior changes and impacts themselves.
  • A hardened heart – One can only be patient, kind, loving and gentle, praying God’s interventions to reach such a one. Remember, “it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.” As we can love those who hate us we can be effective witnesses to a God such a person has never known. This takes a personal experience with God and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit – a daily surrender of self to God.

With a prayerful heart inquire of God for wisdom regarding any obstacles that hinder your child from reexamining their relationship with God, and if there are any actions you can take to address those obstacles. If there is no known specific action you can take that would positively influence your child, then ask God to bring whatever is necessary into your child’s life to shake them out of their complacency and give opportunity for reexamination of their life and heart. And always remember – God loves and longs for your child even more than you!

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 24

I wanted to thank you very much for presenting your understanding of God. I’ve always been troubled by this question: Why did Jesus have to die? Since my conversion I understood that The Father & Jesus are one, I did not have issues with that. But was there not any other way to save us than for Jesus to die? I guess I actually had a question about God – if He is so wise, how come He did not find another way? I did not see the real ‘beauty’  in the cross. Only when you explained the picture in the medical context, Jesus providing medicine for my selfishness, have I started to finally ‘see the light’. Thank you so much. Your seminar, “Healing the Mind,” are absolutely marvelous & have shared them with my family and many other people, including colleagues at work. Thanks, thanks, thanks. May God bless you abundantly in your ministry.

M. W., Australia

 

Testimony 12

I have been really blessed reading your response to the various questions on your site.

K.C., OH, USA

 

Testimony 8

Thank you for the ministry you are sharing with us, it is a real blessing to us and especially to my husband and myself! You are encouraging us to think for ourselves and not just to except everything, without thinking it through, with God’s word!

M.K., USA

 

Testimony 32

The message [of Come And Reason Ministries is] for all Christians (and those who may become Christians) and not just Adventists or any other group. It is difficult to imagine why any [anyone] with intellectual and spiritual honesty could find fault with the way you explained the healing substitution concepts and the truth about God’s character, though I know some will reject and criticize. On behalf of those in our group near Tacoma, WA, thank you and your staff for all of the hard work and for sharing the Gospel in this manner. God’s message of healing love will be carried to the whole world and then Jesus will come – He promised it.

Terry U., Tacoma, WA, USA

 

Testimony 33

I was invited over a friend’s house to see the “God and Your Brain” seminar today. I became [a christian] 36 years ago at the age of 19, but have struggled with the concept of God taking His ‘pound of flesh’ out on His Son to be appeased. Wow. Your seminar has been an incredible revelation and breath of reason and fresh air! I have your book, “The God Shaped Brain,” and it is SO eye opening. Finally, after 36 years enlightenment has come! Praise the Good Lord! What can I say, but that the Real Gospel is truly “Good News!” Thank you for your efforts in giving the Gospel a clear sound!

Paul C.,  Springfield, MA, USA

 

Testimony 31

It was very touching to hear the testimony of your class share how viewing God’s true character has changed their lives. My feelings are the same – there is so much freedom in knowing that God LOVES me – regardless of my… just, REGARDLESS! I’m still blown away by the true gospel, the fact that God is not ready to strike us when we fail. He is not arbitrary. He simply loves us and warns of the natural consequences because He can’t stand to see us suffer. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD!!!

Ceil V.,  UT, USA

 

Testimony 46

Over the past couple of years God has been expanding my view of Himself and His character. Along my approximately 40-year journey, I have often had questions, but was hesitant to voice these and step outside the traditionally accepted thinking, for fear of admitting that I may in fact be eternally lost. In the recesses of my thinking has been the thought – if one blindly accepts (which is widely regarded as “real faith”) and does not question, is this really ‘truth?’ I often find it challenging to grapple with very theological ‘speak,’ but Dr. Jennings has a real gift of explaining spiritual concepts with clear practical examples. The weekly discussions are growing my Christian experience and slowly changing my view of how to live as a child of God in today’s complex world. Finally the whole Old Testament sanctuary teaching moved in my mind from fantasy to reality!

Beverly S., South Africa

 

Testimony 30

God lead me to your book “The God-Shaped Brain” while I was searching for another book about the brain and then to your interview about your book on HeartWise Ministries [where] I found out about [Come And Reason Ministries]. I’m now devouring the webcasts of your Bible studies. I have been so greatly blessed and I thank God so much for your courage to speak the Truth in love no matter what. Listening to you contrast the two opposing systems (laws) and digging deep to unearth the hidden treasures in the Bible makes me so incredibly happy and I feel very blessed to be part of your Bible Study Group although I live far away. I am just so excited that there is a group of people that is spreading the Truth about the character of God and it saddens me how few realize what our Father in Heaven is really like.

Kessy B., Australia

 

Testimony 2

I continue to enjoy your lessons every week. The more that I research your conclusions, the more I am convinced that the Holy Spirit has lead you to distill out the essence of human redemption. Thank you for your courageous stand for the truth.

S. G., TX, USA

 

Testimony 57

You have helped make sense of thirty two years of confusion. The material you freely provide reorganized so much of my life into such a beautiful pattern that has always been hinted at from within, but misguided with my training and what I was experiencing externally. My filipno parents, who were converted from Catholicism to SDA, were sincere and did their best to raise me the right way and I have deep respect for them. However, being immigrants and not understanding the language made for a difficult transition as I was growing up, which also applied to my spiritual growth as I learned the patterns of religion. I have been listening to as many bible study classes and reading blog posts as my time in a work truck will allow, searching for the practical applications of where spirituality and reality meet, and I thank you for helping me find that. You have helped me reach a point in which I can truly say that I love God, that I believe He loves me, and, like David, I delight in His law. God bless.

Emmanuel V., Calgary, AB Canada

Testimony 29

Thank you for all of your work to correct misconceptions about God’s character. So many people that my husband and I have talked to seem to be against the natural law construct and view it as “errant” and “dangerous.” Having learned more about it through your blogs and lessons, I don’t really understand why they view it that way, except that it means they have to relearn theology they have known for their entire lives. But I’m so excited to relearn this. For the past few years I have been questioning how I could trust a God who punishes arbitrarily and is full of wrath for those who don’t obey His commands. That view made me afraid to “mess up” or “not be good enough,” even within my relationship with God. I really appreciated the point you bring out about God not wanting us to serve Him because we are afraid, but because we love Him.

Melissa H., IN, USA

 

Testimony 43

Two years ago I stumbled upon your book, “Could It Be This Simple,” and then found “The God-Shaped Brain” videos on YouTube, your bible study class, and the ‘Come And Reason’ mobile app. I shared your book with a friend and after nine months of showing love, patience, and kindness this person has been changed by the love of God, too. The same love that healed me, I now express to other women in tangible ways, such as to a Baptist woman with high anxiety and childhood trauma. She was extremely happy and relieved when I shared about the so-called “judgment of God” and burning in hell. She had no desire to serve a God that was so harsh. I have repeated the phrase dozens of times to her. “What we believe has power over us, but we have power over what we believe…”

This message that you are sharing has changed my life. I will continue to serve other women and bring this message of God’s healing love to their lives by sharing your books, YouTube videos, and The Remedy Bible app. Keep up the good work. Don’t be discouraged. God is doing a mighty work in and through this ministry!

Jill L., Midwest, USA

 

Testimony 34

I was introduced to Come and Reason Ministries by accident, via a passing comment made in a bible study class we were visiting. I checked this website out and my life was changed. The understanding of the truth of God’s character, and how we apply it, is so right. The tricky part is consistently applying which “lens” to look through. As I began to understand, I started sharing the basics of this understanding with a discussion group I was leading and, suddenly, a lot of things started to make sense that never used to. At the same time, I enjoyed an amazing opportunity. I was able to conduct a full bible study at WORK! What an amazing experience! It is such a joy to share the truth about God and to share how it all fits in the war between God and Satan. So many people benefit when we have a correct understanding about how God works and who He really is! Thank you for this transformational understanding. Keep up the good work! God Bless you!

Tony P., CA, USA

 

Testimony 23

I would just like to add my voice to the many people who, I believe, must have contacted you to express their appreciation for the “Healing the Mind” DVDs. I’ve been listening to your Bible study class discussions for many years and I’ve been personally blessed by your research and teaching about the character of God.

L. G., Oakland, MI, USA

 

Testimony 28

I have been following your Bible study class for about a year now. I must say I am impressed with how your ministry has grown. I took it upon myself to listen to all your lesson podcasts from the past and they have both enriched me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have learnt a lot from this class. I have also noticed how the class has grown in spiritual strength. One of the things that benefited me is that now I am not afraid of God. I use to be, but now it has melted away. The second thing is that you helped me to have a real life relationship with God. Now He is my friend that was always there and I love having him with me all the time. Thirdly, because of this class, it inspired me to take over and lead a class. I have called it “Let Us Reason Together,” adapting your inquisitive style and creating a class of free thinkers.

T. Banda, Malawi, Africa