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Reaching a Wayward Child

Reaching a Wayward Child

Dear Dr. Jennings,

Would you be kind and provide information on the topic of how to reach my one and only son, who is lost and still in the ”PIG PEN” like a prodigal son but does not make an effort or has the will to change his life.  He does not appear to have vision for his life or willingness to listen to any advise.

I have been praying over 20 years for salvation and it is heart breaking to watch my son being so lost and so weak.

Please help if you can.


Your struggle and heartache is not yours alone. Millions of parents are also longing to see a wayward child experience the joys of intimacy with Christ and transformation of character His presence brings. I wish I had some secret truth that could be applied which would guarantee success, unfortunately, because each person has freewill, such a commodity does not exist.

We must recognize no matter how great our love and heartache for a child, God’s love and desire for their salvation is infinitely more intense that our own. Yet, even God cannot save a soul against the will of that individual, else everyone would be saved.

As a starting point we must know God is for our children. God longs more intensely for your child than you have capacity to experience and God will provide all that is needed to reach and save your child. With this knowledge in mind one never has to “plead” with God to get Him oriented toward saving your child, or interested in saving your child, or willing to save. He already is.

Instead our conversations with God should pursue wisdom, ability, and insight into any action that we can take that would be a positive influence for our loved one toward God’s kingdom. Further, we must reach out to God with an eternal perspective and pray “take the gloves off,” meaning “God do whatever it takes to shake my child out of their lethargy, complacency or stupor.”

Recognize, this is, from an earthly perspective, a dangerous prayer. What if the only way that your child will be shaken into reexamining their life is to end up in prison? Would you be at peace with that? What if the only way to awaken your child to think about eternal realities is if they get cancer? Or if you get cancer? Would you be okay with that?

God’s perspective is that of eternity. He knows the secrets of each heart and He knows whether a heart remains open or is permanently closed. He also knows what will motivate a person to “reconsider” their situation and can bring this to bear. But God doesn’t force His way into a person’s life against their will. God is constantly working for the salvation of every human being, but within the framework of His character and principles. This means God, who grants us genuine freedom, respects the person who tells Him to leave them alone, but He also respects the prayer of the mother who asks He go intercede in her behalf, thus our prayers open avenues for God into the lives of our family and friends.

Our prayers also open our minds to God’s influence and allow us to grow in grace and love and wisdom to become more effective conduits of God’s love and grace.

With all of this in mind, from my experience, here are some of the obstacles I have observed in individual lives that keep them from surrendering their lives to God?

  • Misperception of God – Ask a person to tell you about the God they don’t believe in or trust. You might find the God they describe doesn’t deserve to be believed in. Then     ask God for wisdom to help reveal the truth about God.
  • Ignorance of His law – Most people have accepted some aspect of an Imperial Roman Imposed law idea for God’s law. If one believes God imposes law like Rome, then one will draw all kinds of distortions about God, which undermine trust, like God must impose penalties to punish law breakers etc. As we see the truth that God’s law is the design template for life, and violations are incompatible with life, as God designed it, then we realize God’s’ interventions are to heal and save from our own terminal condition and not to inflict punishment.
  • Accepting lies about our existence (evolution) – A dialogue regarding the multiple false assumptions that underpin this thinking can be beneficial to cause cognitive dissonance and open the mind to consider the truth about God.
  • Unresolved anger – Individuals who have been mistreated often have anger and trust issues that they blame upon God and have not been able to reconcile the idea of a loving God with the reality of their own abusive mistreatment. Such questions need to be resolved in order to come back to a relationship with God.
  • Complacency, laziness, entrenched habits – Often the only antidote to this is harsh reality. As Paul said, those who do not work shall not eat.
  • Unhealthy attachments to things or people, unwillingness to go through loss that change brings – Exploring the evidence of how the unhealthy attachments have brought pain, suffering, destruction can bring the insight needed to initiate a change. However, the person may still, despite the understanding of the need to cut certain relationships, still experience grief and loss. Validate and give permission to grieve the loss.
  • Loss of hope (believe lie have gone to far, committed unpardonable sin) – Provide assurance that if one has this concern, fear, anxiety, that such concern is itself evidence they have not committed the unpardonable sin. Explore with them what they believe is so horrible and then love them and demonstrate that your love is not dependent upon their behavior, but that their behavior changes and impacts themselves.
  • A hardened heart – One can only be patient, kind, loving and gentle, praying God’s interventions to reach such a one. Remember, “it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.” As we can love those who hate us we can be effective witnesses to a God such a person has never known. This takes a personal experience with God and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit – a daily surrender of self to God.

With a prayerful heart inquire of God for wisdom regarding any obstacles that hinder your child from reexamining their relationship with God, and if there are any actions you can take to address those obstacles. If there is no known specific action you can take that would positively influence your child, then ask God to bring whatever is necessary into your child’s life to shake them out of their complacency and give opportunity for reexamination of their life and heart. And always remember – God loves and longs for your child even more than you!

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I have been tuning into your weekly study classes for a while now and wanted express my appreciation for the teachings that ha been a huge blessing in opening up the true message of the word. Viewing scripture under an imposed law theory always, without fail, raised more questions, concerns, and conflicting scripture interpretations that were discouraging at the very least. Looking at scripture through the design law lens has brought more truth to light for me personally and an understanding of our Heavenly Father that places Him “above all others,” where I am now more than thrilled to witness and serve Him.  I “stumbled” across this ministry a year or so ago and would only watch a few minutes at a time. But the more I listened and the longer I paid attention, the more my spiritual eyes were opened to the ever present truths of scripture. The comprehension of the great controversy and it’s origin by the lies perpetrated and perpetuated throughout the Bible on the attack of God’s character and government is truly priceless. Keep up the Good Work! Your servanthood is desperately needed in such a time as this!

Jeff D., Reading, MA, USA

 

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I have found your Bible study class lectures to be very inspiring and useful as I prepare to teach class every other week. I subscribe to the podcast and download your notes on the weeks I teach. The audio and notes are such a great help in preparing. My own understanding of God’s character has grown as I teach the class. Commendations on the thought-provoking and well-prepared material Come and Reason provides. Personally, I get excited by the tie you make between the spiritual and mental/physical domains.

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I just want to say thank you so much for your conversations via YouTube. I regularly tune in to your lectures, “Let’s Talk” sessions, and many others. Through these I’ve found greater depth and meaning to God’s word. Thanks for all that you do and please continue. I’m currently working in the middle of Silicon Valley at Stanford University. I feel like God really has me in the right place right now and I’m sensing that your teachings might be part of it.

B. F., Silicon Valley, CA, USA

 

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I would love to have a copy of “Healing the Mind” DVDs to have in my therapy office. I enjoy having clients check out materials to enhance their therapy experience. I have sat under Dr. Jennings’ teaching at an American Association of Christian Counselors convention and respect his work greatly.

K.B., LA, USA

 

Testimony 60

Just watched watched lesson 10 in the 1st quarter 2021 bible study classs on Isaiah. I want to thank you for your intellectual spirituality; it’s not an oxymoron! From the point of view of a teacher I also enjoy seeing how much personal pleasure you clearly take in not just tasting, but feasting on God’s word – it reminds me of Jeremiah not being able to hold it in! It makes me smile that your cup is so full and overflowing that you make it to Tuesday’s lesson (on a good day). It just goes to show the richness of God’s Word.

God bless the Come and Reason Team from our church here in Great Britain.

Andrew H., Great Britain

 

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The blessings of clarity and understanding you and your class inspire me to take from the word of God have impressed upon me so greatly the true, loving character of our Creator. I have found amazing freedom and joy through building a stronger, more intentional relationship with Him. What is new is that this is now a relationship built on love, reverence and respect rather than fear and obligation, and as such my eyes have been slammed OPEN as I am continually impressed by the manifestations of God’s true character in His provisions for fallen man.

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Thank you for the ministry you are sharing with us, it is a real blessing to us and especially to my husband and myself! You are encouraging us to think for ourselves and not just to except everything, without thinking it through, with God’s word!

M.K., USA

 

Testimony 66

I am incredibly grateful for the transformative impact you’ve had on my life, and words cannot fully express my appreciation. Over the years, I have been an avid listener and follower of C&R and extend my heartfelt thanks for creating the C&R mobile app. It has allowed me to immerse myself in your lessons repeatedly, enabling me to grasp the profound significance about the Character of God, Design Law, the protocols for life, the reasons behind the current chaos, and Christ’s mission to restore everything. They have deeply touched me. Having studied with various churches, I came away with the perception that God is no different from the deities of ancient Greek or Roman mythology—demanding sacrifices and taking pleasure in bloodshed. Thanks to your transformative teachings, I have experienced a profound awakening to the true nature of God and the immense power of His love. It is truly a remarkable and liberating sensation to finally grasp the truth and embrace the empowering nature of God’s laws. My self-perception has become brighter and more infused with love. My journey of growth continues on a daily basis.

Chris P., Lake Mary, FL, USA

 

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It was very touching to hear the testimony of your class share how viewing God’s true character has changed their lives. My feelings are the same – there is so much freedom in knowing that God LOVES me – regardless of my… just, REGARDLESS! I’m still blown away by the true gospel, the fact that God is not ready to strike us when we fail. He is not arbitrary. He simply loves us and warns of the natural consequences because He can’t stand to see us suffer. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD!!!

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Testimony 39

[This ministry is the] biggest blessing I have ever received! Your DVDs and lessons could not have come at a better time in my life. I have experienced in the past year many difficulties that, if it wasn’t for this wonderful view of God that I have discovered through this ministry, I would not have been able to respond in love and forgiveness. My heart is being transformed everyday by the Calvary-looking God you teach. Hallelujah!! I have tears in my eyes as I write, because my life has taken a complete turn from where I was heading.

I am from Central America. Most of my family is scattered in different parts of the world and all have the same view of God that I had growing up; a distant, exacting, and ready-to-punish-us-with-tragedy type of God. So, I have been translating lessons for my family and, to my surprise, they have also been sharing them with others! I can already see the difference. My brother has often said, “Thank you for sharing, I have never heard it this way!” My other family members are taking an amazing turn from a message of “repent or burn” towards a loving God, pleading to us that we won’t reject him because he loves us eternally.

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Sofia S., Ashfield, MA, USA

 

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I truly believe that to know who God really is the first step to understand ourselves in a balanced and kind way, so the healing can take place. Your approach really makes sense – Thank you for your ministry!

A.M., Pittsburg, PA, USA

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Your seminars are still inspiring and changing our lives and we continue to share the principles we have learned from you. Your ministry has changed our lives!

E.W.

 

Testimony 44

We were given a gift of the DVD set, “God and Your Brain,” and we just finished watching it. The truths in this are so powerful and truly an answer to a prayer. We’re seeing hope where once we thought God wasn’t answering our prayers to be free of certain mindsets. He answered with these DVDs and we are hungry for more. Thank you!

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Testimony 27

Your teachings about our heavenly Father have changed my life. Thank you sooooooo very very much! I know He’s doing some serious healing in my heart and life and I look forward to each new day to learn something new about Him and to just hear you speak about Him. Thank you, forever.

Nancy S.