Throughout my life, I have heard various preachers teach lessons from the story of Moses striking the rock and then not being permitted to enter the Promised Land.

The various lessons I have heard include:

• “If you disobey God, then He will punish you, so you better obey.”
• Moses ruined an object lesson opportunity (the rock symbolic of Christ; the water symbolic of the water of life that comes from Christ; Jesus died once for salvation; the rock was to be struck only once; thus, Moses striking the rock a second time misrepresented that lesson).
• Moses usurped authority and claimed godly powers when he said, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” (Numbers 20:10 NIV84, emphasis mine).
• When Moses became angry, he broke faith with God by misrepresenting God’s character. God wanted to be represented to this grumbling, fearful, distrusting, and rebellious people as patient, kind, gentle, and gracious, so by getting angry and striking the rock, Moses made it appear as though God were angry, breaking trust with God, misrepresenting Him, and conveying an idea to the people that increased their fear rather than trust in God.

This last understanding is supported by God’s testimony recorded in Scripture:

“This is because both of you broke faith with me in the presence of the Israelites at the waters of Meribah Kadesh in the Desert of Zin and because you did not uphold my holiness among the Israelites” (Deuteronomy 32:51 NIV84).

This break in faith did not occur because Moses believed a false doctrine, or because he was going after false gods, or because he wanted to replace God with self, or from lust, addiction, or any other of the common “sins” people focus upon.

This break in trust was when Moses acted upon the spirit of fear with which he was born rather than staying submitted to and following the Spirit of God. Moses, in that moment, chose to respond and act upon his internal feelings of frustration, irritation, exhaustion, and desire to “spank” these unruly, rebellious, ungrateful, and untrusting people.

Moses, like all of us, experienced the temptation from within, that fear-generated, self-protective desire that justifies, in such moments, lashing out. James describes this internal pull away from God’s kingdom of love that comes from the spirit of fear we all inherited from Adam:

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed (James 1:13–14 NIV84, emphasis mine).

Moses, in that moment, did not lose His faith in God; he momentarily allowed his feelings, originating from his inherent spirit of fear, to cause him to act outside of his faith in God. And in so doing, he let God down. God trusted Moses to be His representative to the people, and in that moment, Moses did not represent God truthfully and, thereby, Moses broke the faith that God had placed in him.

Moses did not lose his salvation, as evidenced by what happened afterward. His relationship with God actually grew healthier and stronger because he stayed humbly connected to God, acknowledged his failure, repented from the remnants of the old fear-based self, and experienced the cleansing of his heart by God. This resulted in him having greater love and appreciation for God. While Moses did not enter the earthly Promised Land, after his temporal death, God buried him and then came back and resurrected him into an immortal body and took him to heaven!

What an encouraging story, and how beautiful God looks through it all!

Despite our weakness, despite moments when we have let God down, He does not cast us off; rather, He allows such moments to reveal to us the residual elements of the sin-sickness still buried deep in our hearts so that we will humbly acknowledge our sin, repent, and experience His continued grace, healing, and maturing of our character.  

Recently, what has struck me is how much like Moses I am—born into the world constituted in sin, with a spirit of fear and drives to survive, to protect myself, advance myself (Psalm 51:5).

And like Moses, I have given my life to God, have sought to fulfill His calling for my life, have experienced the internal battle between my inherent spirit of fear and selfishness—with its pre-conversion habits, biases, pre-existing assumptions, and reflexive responses—and the Spirit of God living in me. And I have, like Moses, been slowly healing.

But also like Moses, I have found that despite my heart’s true desire to never let the Lord down, to always say of Him what is right, to fulfill my duties with efficiency and Christlike grace, that I am weak, subject to fatigue, mental exhaustion, physical pain, hunger, impatience, and irritability, all of which makes me vulnerable to lash out and “strike the rock” rather than speak gently to it. And when this has happened, I grieve, for I know I have broken faith with my Savior; I have, in that moment, not said of Him what is right.

And when have I struck Jesus, the Rock of my salvation, instead of speaking gently?

Jesus said,

“I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40 NIV84).

Whenever I have reacted reflexively, with frustration and irritation rather than patience, love, and truth, whenever I have spoken harsh words instead of kind words, I have struck the rock and broken the trust Jesus has placed in me to carry His name to the world.

And like Moses, in those moments I realize my salvation is not lost, because I grieve in my heart over my continued struggles. I run to Jesus in grief and remorse, and I open myself, asking for His healing, cleansing, and renewing presence, for Him to finish His work in my life. And my love for Jesus grows, my heart heals, my character matures, and through it all, God’s beauty becomes ever clearer.

I don’t know what doors of opportunity (entering the Promised Land for Moses) on this earth have been closed to me because of my “striking the rock.” But, like Moses, I thank God for His grace, His mercy, and submit to His plan and pray that I will never break faith with my God and Savior again.  

If you have found that you have had moments of “striking the rock,” don’t collapse into despair or depression; simply go to Jesus in humble repentance, for He longs to finish the work He has begun in you.