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Loving Others — What Does It Look Like?

Loving Others — What Does It Look Like?

Anyone who reveals God’s character in their life, and who attributes all honor to Jesus as the Son of God, is living in unity, harmony, and loving fellowship with God. And thus we have been genuinely transformed from beings motivated and driven by selfishness to fully healed children of God, motivated and energized by the love God has for us. God is love, and those who live a life of love live in unity and oneness with God—and God with them. It is in this way—through the fellowship of a community of love—that God’s true character of love is made complete among us. And because we have been restored to full unity with him and are like him in heart, mind and character, we are confident to stand before him. In love, there is no fear. Fear is part of the infection of selfishness, but is purged by love, as fear has to do with concern for oneself. The one who remains self-focused and afraid has not been healed by God’s love.

We are able to love only because he first loved us. If we claim to love God, sacrificing self for him, but go right on exploiting others—we are liars. For those who exploit the person near them—whom they have seen—cannot sacrifice self for God whom they have not seen. God’s prescription is this: Internalize God’s love—which transforms the entire being—so that you love both God and people; for whoever loves God will also love others (1 John 4:16–21 The Remedy).

But what does it look like to love others? To love others means that we seek to do what is in their best interest, even when they might want something else. In order to do this, we must not only have loving concern for the other person, but we also must understand God’s design laws, how reality works, what the problem is—and then, when appropriate, use our ability to act in harmony with God’s design laws to bring healing influence to others. Below is a series of thought-problems designed to help you consider how to apply God’s principles to bless; in other words, to love with action, to do what is best for others.

If your grandmother is weak and struggles to walk but is able to walk, is it an act of love to give her a motorized wheelchair for her home so that she doesn’t have to walk anymore? What if your grandmother has arthritis and walking is painful—would it then be an act of love to give her the wheelchair?

If your child struggles to learn to read or do math at a fourth-grade level, is it an act of love to pass them to the fifth grade even if they haven’t mastered their current level? What would happen when faced with even more difficult material at the higher level? What happens to their forming sense of self?

If your friend is hungry because they have a serious drug problem, won’t work, have been arrested multiple times for shoplifting in order to fund their addiction, and then they ask you for money for food, is it an act of love to give them money?

If your child disobeys repeated warnings and touches a hot stove, is it an act of love to quickly numb their hand so that when they touch the stove they don’t feel any pain?

If you’re hiking with your spouse and she falls and breaks a leg, and you need to splint her leg, but doing so will cause more pain, would it be an act of love to splint the leg? Would it be loving to have surgery even if that caused pain? And when it is time for physical therapy and your spouse cries from the pain, is it an act of love to do her exercises for her?

What if it is not a broken leg, but a broken heart—she has been traumatized in the past and is hurting—is it an act of love to focus on merely relieving her pain, or to focus on healing the emotional wound even if the work to heal it is painful? What if she gets angry and accuses you of attacking her—is it love to accept the accusation and apologize for trying to help?

If your child has a temper tantrum when you don’t give them candy, is it an act of love to give them the candy to stop their tantrum? What if it isn’t a child, but an adult, perhaps your spouse, who yells, accuses, screams, threatens to leave, or even threatens suicide if you don’t do something they want—is it an act of love to give in to them in order to calm them down?

Once there is brokenness, there are no pain-free options. The path of love is to bring healing, even though the healing interventions are painful. Unfortunately, many people focus merely on the immediate experience and instead of seeking to heal, seek to relieve the pain or discomfort and, thus, actually harm. Love understands design law and reality and acts to heal and restore even if it is painful.

Love Your Neighbor as You Love Yourself

When the Bible says that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves, what does it mean?

Do parents with three children and limited income have to prioritize their resources, time, and money to fulfill their responsibility to their own children, even if that means not feeding homeless children in the neighborhood? If resources are limited, is it an act of love to neglect one’s own children in order to give to needy children in the community?

If a farmer loves people and wants to feed as many starving people as he can, choosing to donate all the food from his farm to the poor, and refusing to take any food or even eat one meal a day, will he actually be capable of loving others?

If there were a mass-casualty incident in your community and a call for blood donations went out, is it an act of love to donate? But how much? Would it be an act of love to limit the amount of blood you donate? And what about the doctors and nurses providing the care—would their refusal to give blood, because they are working double shifts and need all their energy to care for the wounded, be an act of love?

Is it love for a church to limit the amount of money it gives away for missions or feeding the poor? Is it necessary for the organization to maintain its own health in order to be able to continue ministering over the long term? Is it an act of love to set such limits on charitable giving? Would the church be best served in giving every penny away and go into bankruptcy?

What about a government? Is it an act of love for a government to set limits on whom they help? Like a parent, should the government use its resources for its citizens, or bankrupt itself trying to help all the needy peoples of other countries?

What about setting boundaries at a nation’s border that regulates those coming into a country—is that an act of love? What happens to the most vulnerable in a society when unregulated immigration occurs? Do wages rise for the poorest? Would social resources, such as Medicaid, low-cost housing, mental-health treatment programs, social support systems, student aide, etc., be more available for the most needy in our society—or would those systems be overwhelmed and, thus, those with the least resources would find themselves with less opportunity to get assistance to develop and advance?

The first rule of caregiving, or ministry to others, is the health of the caregiver. If the ones providing care, ministry, and service are incapacitated, then those who are in need can’t be helped. Thus, it is an act of love for the farmer to eat, for the blood donors to limit the amount they donate, and for churches and nations to limit the amount they give away.

When Rahab lied, was she acting in love for the spies hiding on her roof?

When Loving Others Is Hard

What is the loving action to take for a Christian wife who is repeatedly beaten by her husband, who has never been sexually unfaithful to her? What happens in the heart, mind, and character of the husband who beats his wife? If the wife loves her husband, does she submit and allow such behavior to continue—or does she, in love, stand up and say, “What you are doing is searing your conscience, hardening your heart, warping your character, and I love you too much to go along with this; either get into therapy to deal with your anger issues, or in love, I must leave”?

If you had a prodigal son who left home with his inheritance and used it to live wildly, blowing all his money and ending up living with pigs eating slop, would it be an act of love to send him more money? To put him up in a hotel? To send him pizza delivery every day? Or does love, no matter how painful, allow the child to reap what he has sown in order to provide him the opportunity to “come to his senses,” and turn his life in a healthy direction?

If your child were chasing a ball heading toward traffic, does love not only yell a warning, but perhaps even threaten a spanking if necessary to get the child to stop? What if neighbors hear the threats and think you are a cruel parent? Would you still yell at your child to save his life even though everyone would misunderstand you?

Is it an act of love for God in the Old Testament to threaten His children, who were running into the self-destruction of pagan worship—even if millions would later read about this history in Scriptures and end up concluding that God is a punishing God?

Let’s consider the movie The Miracle Worker, which is about Helen Keller. Helen’s mother loved her very much; she had a tender heart and felt deeply for the suffering of Helen, always acting to protect her and limit things that would cause her pain or add to her suffering. Yet under her mother’s care, Helen became a dysfunctional, out-of-control child who required constant oversight and attention.

Annie Sullivan, hired as a nanny and teacher, set boundaries with Helen, and Helen resisted, fighting back and eventually slapping Annie, who responded by slapping her back. (What do you think would happen today if a social worker slapped a blind, deaf, and mute child?) Was Annie abusing Helen? Why would most people today want a social worker who slapped a blind, deaf, and mute child arrested or removed from their job?

But under Annie’s care, Helen learned self-control, learned to sign, read braille, and eventually got a college education and achieved many things. Who functionally loved Helen more: her mother or Annie?

Why did Annie have to take Helen away from mother’s day-to-day care? Was there tension between her mother and Annie? Was it because either of them wanted to harm Helen? No; they both wanted what was best, they both had good motives, but the mother was driven by compassion without understanding how reality works. She let her feelings drive her actions. But Annie understood the laws of exertion, the laws of sowing and reaping, and the law of love and applied these to her actions in a way Helen’s mother did not.

Many in society today struggle with how to actually apply love in the choices they make. As Christians, we are to be thinkers, to understand God’s methods and principles, and to take actions that bring healing and restoration to people, leading them to develop their God-given abilities to the fullest. Such actions require understanding of God’s character of love, His design laws on how things work, and a willingness to act on truth, principle, and not feelings, which sometimes means tolerating the suffering of others or allowing us to be misunderstood.

Love does what is right, healthy, and reasonable—in harmony with God’s designs because it is right, healthy, and reasonable. Love doesn’t do what others think seems right, but what is actually right, even if it is painful at the time. We are only able to do this as we come into unity with God, keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, and understand God’s design laws for life.

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Testimony 63

I’ve been very blessed by “The God Shaped Brain” and this ministry, through video and podcast, over the last few years. It’s truly opened up my eyes more to the truth about God and the importance of that truth in the present world. The message is so inviting, freeing and enlightening and MORE people need to know about it. I believe it is the last message that can truly, not only prepare a people for salvation and translation, but vindicate the character of God.

Michael V., Yonkers, NY, USA

 

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I borrowed “Healing The Mind” DVDs from a friend and showed them at my home for a small gathering of women friends. Neither of my friends are Adventist, but they both enjoyed and embraced the messages you taught. In fact, one of the ladies prayed out loud in our group and that was the first time she had ever had public prayer.

J.B. ,Dalles, OR, USA

 

Testimony 57

You have helped make sense of thirty two years of confusion. The material you freely provide reorganized so much of my life into such a beautiful pattern that has always been hinted at from within, but misguided with my training and what I was experiencing externally. My filipno parents, who were converted from Catholicism to SDA, were sincere and did their best to raise me the right way and I have deep respect for them. However, being immigrants and not understanding the language made for a difficult transition as I was growing up, which also applied to my spiritual growth as I learned the patterns of religion. I have been listening to as many bible study classes and reading blog posts as my time in a work truck will allow, searching for the practical applications of where spirituality and reality meet, and I thank you for helping me find that. You have helped me reach a point in which I can truly say that I love God, that I believe He loves me, and, like David, I delight in His law. God bless.

Emmanuel V., Calgary, AB Canada

Testimony 18

The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 64

I’ve been reading the bible and walking with Jesus since I was around 16. I’m 42 now. I’ve mostly been alone in my walk although I went to several churches in different denominations. For the past 3 years God has been showing me His character of agape. It’s been a blessing and changed how I view God and my walk with Jesus. About a year ago I came across the power of love and the principles of design law. These teachings changed how I read scripture and have been such a beautiful blessing. I’m very excited and grateful for these truths. We share these truths of agape, design law and the reality of the principles of the two trees in the garden of Eden with people on Facebook and YouTube. People all over are learning to trust God and His agape design law which makes life possible. Thank you for everything you shared with me. May God continue to bless your ministry and lives.

Bradley M., Hinsdale, NY, USA

 

Testimony 72

I am blown away by the truth that you present. God’s Design Law makes so much sense! You have validated my impression that, if God is love, He would not kill those who don’t want to know him. If God gives us choice, then how can He destroy us if our choice is not to follow him. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to the pure love of God seen through Jesus. The love I now have for Jesus is deeper and free from condemnation. My heart has been opened to love others as Jesus loves me. May God continue to bless your God-given insight into His word and your ministry. The truth has set me free!

H. Miller, Centereach, NY

Testimony 12

I have been really blessed reading your response to the various questions on your site.

K.C., OH, USA

 

Testimony 21

I am absolutly on fire with the message at Come and Reason! I can’t get enough! I’ve read your book, blog, and articles. I’ve listened to your Bible study podcasts, your radio show, and your series – all excellent! It wasn’t until the past couple of years that I have I like I’m becoming “healthy,” with more to share with others than just beasts and commandments! I used to be a Bible worker and preached when the pastors were gone until I had had enough. I didnt realize at the time what the problem was, but i know now… the message wasn’t properly focused. Now my flame is rekindled. All of your little examples are so perfect in explaining something “complicated” and making it easily understood! Now I’m trying to shape it into a life changing evangelistic series! Thank you!

M.T., USA

 

Testimony 50

After coming into contact with Come And Reason Ministries, I can finally say that many of my unanswered questions have fallen into place. I discovered that my view of God’s Law was “imposed laws and rules” with “imposed punishments” and that this was the major culprit of my many unanswered questions. Thanks be to God for using you and those around you to help us who have struggled with this “infection” of thought. I have now rejected the “imposed law” concept to fully embrace “Design Law”… to look thru “Design Law,” instead of “imposed law,” is a relief.

Viliami L., Australia

 

Testimony 40

I was brought up in a different faith and have been petrified my whole life of God. I believed that I would burn in hell for eternity. When I was 12 I started pursuing the things of this world, but for the next 45 years the Spirit was always calling me, as I knew there was a God through nature. I could see the vast sea of stars in the universe and knew there was something bigger out there. Five years ago, through a Revelation seminar, I was blessed to learn about God’s character and government.

Then I found Come and Reason Ministries and have come under some extreme pressure when I speak about the ministry. One time a member sent me an internet article titled “Whats wrong with Tim Jennings?” I asked her what she thought of it and she said “I don’t know, I didn’t read it.”

I have always wanted to find out for myself the truth about God, so I stayed with the Design Law construct and have been liberated to understand the big picture. Once we consider Design Law, all other Bible stories and prophecies seem to fit perfectly. It is truly beautiful to see people grasping how God operates this Universe of Love and the liberation it has provided in their lives. It blows my mind to see how consistent Design law is with what our founders believed. I hear statements like “This makes so much sense.”

Tom W., Mt. Pleasant, MI, USA

 

Testimony 30

God lead me to your book “The God-Shaped Brain” while I was searching for another book about the brain and then to your interview about your book on HeartWise Ministries [where] I found out about [Come And Reason Ministries]. I’m now devouring the webcasts of your Bible studies. I have been so greatly blessed and I thank God so much for your courage to speak the Truth in love no matter what. Listening to you contrast the two opposing systems (laws) and digging deep to unearth the hidden treasures in the Bible makes me so incredibly happy and I feel very blessed to be part of your Bible Study Group although I live far away. I am just so excited that there is a group of people that is spreading the Truth about the character of God and it saddens me how few realize what our Father in Heaven is really like.

Kessy B., Australia

 

Testimony 65

I have been tuning into your weekly study classes for a while now and wanted express my appreciation for the teachings that ha been a huge blessing in opening up the true message of the word. Viewing scripture under an imposed law theory always, without fail, raised more questions, concerns, and conflicting scripture interpretations that were discouraging at the very least. Looking at scripture through the design law lens has brought more truth to light for me personally and an understanding of our Heavenly Father that places Him “above all others,” where I am now more than thrilled to witness and serve Him.  I “stumbled” across this ministry a year or so ago and would only watch a few minutes at a time. But the more I listened and the longer I paid attention, the more my spiritual eyes were opened to the ever present truths of scripture. The comprehension of the great controversy and it’s origin by the lies perpetrated and perpetuated throughout the Bible on the attack of God’s character and government is truly priceless. Keep up the Good Work! Your servanthood is desperately needed in such a time as this!

Jeff D., Reading, MA, USA

 

Testimony 22

I have found your Bible study class lectures to be very inspiring and useful as I prepare to teach class every other week. I subscribe to the podcast and download your notes on the weeks I teach. The audio and notes are such a great help in preparing. My own understanding of God’s character has grown as I teach the class. Commendations on the thought-provoking and well-prepared material Come and Reason provides. Personally, I get excited by the tie you make between the spiritual and mental/physical domains.

A.A. Corrales, NM, USA

 

Testimony 69

After reading your book, ‘Could It Be This Simple,’ someone was explaining Christianity in a way that made sense to me for the first time in my life. One morning, I simply prayed “I’m sorry and I love you.” As soon as I silently said that, I could literally feel God’s presence and light flood down on me from above and fill me up with love and joy. I sat there crying my eyes out, because I was so overpowered with this feeling of love and joy. It was just so incredible. I hope that more people can read this book and get a blessing from it. It’s really amazing.

Rachael H.

Testimony 9

I really enjoy with you the view of a gracious God. Thank you for sharing the work you are allowing the Lord to do in you.

L., Queensland, Australia