Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
How to Love Oneself

How to Love Oneself

He answered: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Luke 10:27 NIV84).

Most of us are familiar with this Bible passage. We know we are to love God and our neighbors, and the measure of how we are to love our neighbor is as we love ourselves.

But what does it mean to love ourselves, and how do we do that?

Over the years, I’ve received many questions about the meaning of this passage from people struggling with how they are to love others like themselves. Some question whether loving oneself is the same as being selfish and wonder if it is not then what is the difference?

Answering this question requires that we define what love is and what selfishness is.

Love is the principle of giving—but not giving just anything, only giving that which is in harmony with God’s designs for life, giving what is right, good, noble, true, pure, holy—giving what heals, restores, recreates, builds up, refreshes, nurtures. In other words, love is giving what is necessary to fulfill God’s purposes. Love is motivated by a desire to bless others, whether God or other people.

Selfishness is rooted in fear, jealousy, and competition with others and is the principle of taking for the purpose of dominating others, rising above others, exploiting others. It is the pursuit of power for self, not for the purpose of blessing others but elevating self.

Some activities of a person who loves self biblically and one who is selfish may look the same on the surface, such as both types of people eating healthily. But the person who is motivated by love does this for the purpose of maintaining the health of their spirit temple in order to fulfill God’s purposes and be a blessing to others, while the selfish person does it either out of fear of breaking a dietary law and getting in legal trouble with God, or so they can glorify themselves with, for instance, their bodybuilding.

Loving oneself as God designed means we care about ourselves, valuing ourselves as children of God, enough so that we do not poison our bodies with substances that damage the brain, impair thinking, destroy our health, and enslave us to some addiction.

Loving ourselves means we give ourselves healthy foods, reasonable exercise, adequate sleep, hydration, and mental and spiritual rest—keeping ourselves in the best condition possible to be able to fulfill God’s purpose in our lives.

When we love ourselves, we nurture our souls by ingesting the Word of God into our minds through regular Bible study. We spend time with God—talking with Him, meditating on His Word, character, creation, and blessings—seeking to worship (model) ourselves to be like Him.

To love ourselves means that we are true to ourselves—we don’t betray ourselves by choosing to do that which we already know is not right for us to do. When we love ourselves, we don’t give in to peer pressure or emotional manipulation from others who try to get us to do something that we know is wrong for us to do. Whether a moral issue, such as taking illicit drugs, or a non-moral issue, such as adopting someone’s pet, if we love ourselves, we only do that which we believe is right for us in harmony with God’s will for our lives.

What does it mean to love God with all one’s heart, soul, strength, and mind?

It means we are dedicated to God completely, our entire selves, and, thus, we seek with all our abilities to glorify God and advance His kingdom in all that we do.

Does that mean we don’t take a vacation because it would be selfish to do so? No—it means we do take vacations because we want to love ourselves in a godly way. We want to have rest, time to rejuvenate, to keep ourselves healthy in order to stay useful for God’s cause.

One of Satan’s traps, if he cannot get good people to choose evil, is to overwhelm them with so many worthy and good projects, responsibilities, and duties that they forget to love themselves; they stop resting and overwork themselves doing good to the point that they burn out and are no longer useful in God’s cause. Thus, they have not loved themselves by giving what they need in order to stay healthy.

We are to live lives of love for God and others, but that requires we love ourselves in a God-designed way.

This brings us to the first rule of caregiving.

If you are a caregiver—whether a parent caring for a child, a doctor or nurse caring for a patient, or an adult child caring for an elderly parent—the first rule of caregiving is the health of the caregiver because if you don’t maintain your health, then you cannot provide care to others and will need others to care for you. Thus, it is important to step back and establish the baseline requirements in your life that are necessary to maintain your health—such things as 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night, regular healthy meals, exercise, personal meditation and prayer, and Sabbath rest, relaxation, and recreation. And we compromise these routines only for true emergencies, for brief periods of time.

Even Jesus, our Savior and model, regularly took time away from needy people to sleep, eat, and spend time with His Father and friends.

So I encourage you to live lives of love for God and others as you love yourself.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 1

Thank you! I love listening to the Come And Reason Ministries Bible study classes and am using some of your notes to get the lessons together that I will be teaching. You always have such good quotes and Bible texts and pull things together to make good sense.

T. C., IN, USA

 

Testimony 23

I would just like to add my voice to the many people who, I believe, must have contacted you to express their appreciation for the “Healing the Mind” DVDs. I’ve been listening to your Bible study class discussions for many years and I’ve been personally blessed by your research and teaching about the character of God.

L. G., Oakland, MI, USA

 

Testimony 74

Thank you so much for opening my eyes. I’ve been through a lot of ministries that just didn’t show the love of God that I felt he was. You have helped me to begin the process of true healing. I thought I was “too far gone,” now I know there’s hope in Jesus, because he loves us beyond what we can comprehend. Thank you again for all you do. I truly appreciate it and pray more people find you (physical at your studio and through this website).

Dalio M.

Testimony 5

We listen to your bible studies lessons in our class in Montana. You actually were the main reason I decided to get a laptop, so I can go to your site and listen, read, learn, and print the class notes. I am so grateful to learn the correct view of God and his character. Now, to just have others have an interest in knowing, so I can share it with them. Good thoughts your way.

R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 15

I have been sharing Come And Reason Ministries Bible study lessons with several folk. You have such a beautiful view of the plan of salvation. If we had this message preached when I was young, my generation would still all be in church.

H. R., New Zealand

Testimony 64

I’ve been reading the bible and walking with Jesus since I was around 16. I’m 42 now. I’ve mostly been alone in my walk although I went to several churches in different denominations. For the past 3 years God has been showing me His character of agape. It’s been a blessing and changed how I view God and my walk with Jesus. About a year ago I came across the power of love and the principles of design law. These teachings changed how I read scripture and have been such a beautiful blessing. I’m very excited and grateful for these truths. We share these truths of agape, design law and the reality of the principles of the two trees in the garden of Eden with people on Facebook and YouTube. People all over are learning to trust God and His agape design law which makes life possible. Thank you for everything you shared with me. May God continue to bless your ministry and lives.

Bradley M., Hinsdale, NY, USA

 

Testimony 16

Your seminars are still inspiring and changing our lives and we continue to share the principles we have learned from you. Your ministry has changed our lives!

E.W.

 

Testimony 32

The message [of Come And Reason Ministries is] for all Christians (and those who may become Christians) and not just Adventists or any other group. It is difficult to imagine why any [anyone] with intellectual and spiritual honesty could find fault with the way you explained the healing substitution concepts and the truth about God’s character, though I know some will reject and criticize. On behalf of those in our group near Tacoma, WA, thank you and your staff for all of the hard work and for sharing the Gospel in this manner. God’s message of healing love will be carried to the whole world and then Jesus will come – He promised it.

Terry U., Tacoma, WA, USA

 

Testimony 14

We really appreciate your views on the judgment and they make good sense considering our free choice.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 41

I have been blessed by your ministry. I have experienced personally, and deeply resonate with, the God of love and the beautiful picture of God’s character that you present. I have seen your seminar series on YouTube, read ‘The Journal of the Watcher’ book, used your mobile app, and also listen/study the bible study lesson with you each week. I concur with many of the thoughts and perspectives that you share. I understand your conclusions on natural laws vs imposed law and the legal/penal substitution (incorrect diagnosis). This makes perfect sense to me.

Bless you for all you do.

Melissa L.

 

Testimony 7

Ok, so last night I listened to “The Law of Liberty” and “How to Achieve Victory: Freedom, Truth and Spirtual Warfare.” These are both MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES so far! The logic is just soooooo beautiful. I had to re-listen to them a couple of times. I just want to EXPLODE! (<< we assume with joy and happiness)

N. B., Canada

 

Testimony 57

You have helped make sense of thirty two years of confusion. The material you freely provide reorganized so much of my life into such a beautiful pattern that has always been hinted at from within, but misguided with my training and what I was experiencing externally. My filipno parents, who were converted from Catholicism to SDA, were sincere and did their best to raise me the right way and I have deep respect for them. However, being immigrants and not understanding the language made for a difficult transition as I was growing up, which also applied to my spiritual growth as I learned the patterns of religion. I have been listening to as many bible study classes and reading blog posts as my time in a work truck will allow, searching for the practical applications of where spirituality and reality meet, and I thank you for helping me find that. You have helped me reach a point in which I can truly say that I love God, that I believe He loves me, and, like David, I delight in His law. God bless.

Emmanuel V., Calgary, AB Canada

Testimony 2

I continue to enjoy your lessons every week. The more that I research your conclusions, the more I am convinced that the Holy Spirit has lead you to distill out the essence of human redemption. Thank you for your courageous stand for the truth.

S. G., TX, USA

 

Testimony 22

I have found your Bible study class lectures to be very inspiring and useful as I prepare to teach class every other week. I subscribe to the podcast and download your notes on the weeks I teach. The audio and notes are such a great help in preparing. My own understanding of God’s character has grown as I teach the class. Commendations on the thought-provoking and well-prepared material Come and Reason provides. Personally, I get excited by the tie you make between the spiritual and mental/physical domains.

A.A. Corrales, NM, USA

 

Testimony 58

I have been watching your videos in The Power of Love seminar and I must say these have liberated me and have improved my relationship with the Lord. I am no longer terrified of him as I was before following your teachings.

Thando N., South Africa