Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Genuine Intimacy – What is it and Can Singles Experience it?

Genuine Intimacy – What is it and Can Singles Experience it?

Hi Dr. J,

What exactly is intimacy? Is it a human need or just a want? Is it just for marriage? If it is a need we were created with, how do singles fulfill that need without violating the design protocol?

I’d love if you could do a seminar for singles/divorcees, etc. We’ve been socialized to feel we must have a partner, but in my opinion, I’m going to be miserable if I keeping thinking I need something I may never have. People keep citing “it is not good for man to be alone”…so what if you never marry/re-marry?

Thanks,

Elaine


You have asked some very insightful and important questions. Many people confuse intimacy with sexuality. But true intimacy is about a deep, abiding, trust, confidence, heart fellowship, such that two parties “know” each other and love each other deeply. Such unity is certainly designed to be experienced within the marriage relationship, which also include physical intimacy. However, intimacy of heart is not exclusive to marriage and can be experienced without physical intimacy.

To open yourself to another, to allow another to peer into the deep recesses of your being, to allow yourself to be fully seen, disrobing your soul for the full inspection of another person, and to experience acceptance, love, and appreciation, to be valued and cherished and do the same with the other is what genuine intimacy is all about.

This type of intimacy is to be experienced between those who know and love Christ. Such unity is how God has designed his intelligent beings to live and what Christ prayed to his Father about in John 17 “I pray that they may all be one. Father! May they be in us, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (vs. 21) We are to experience unity of heart, knowing and loving each other deeply.

Intimacy is a human need, part of God’s design for our being and not exclusive to the marriage relationship. Singles can experience intimacy first in their relationship with God, as Jesus modeled for us, and second in true human friendships. But such intimacy is only safe with those who are trustworthy, those who genuinely love you more than they love themselves. This means, true intimacy can only be experienced by those who are in union with God, just as Jesus prayed. “They will know we are Christians by our love.”

While intimacy is a human need, marriage, in this world of sin, is not for everyone. It is true marriage was part of God’s design for humanity in Eden, but because of sin not all humans are well fitted for marriage. Some individuals actual function better as single people. Jesus, after counseling his disciples about marriage said, “For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (MT 19:11:12)

Jesus states plainly that some, for God’s kingdom, have chosen to remain single, while others were eunuchs by birth and others by man’s abuse. Being single, however, doesn’t mean one cannot be intimate. Single people can open their hearts in love and become united in genuine Christlike love with others.

What prevents one from experiencing true intimacy? Either one’s own fear (fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt, fear of not being liked) or inability to find another person who actually is capable of genuine other-centered love; of these two possibilities, failure to experience intimacy is almost always due to one’s own fear and insecurity.

Perfect love casts out all fear, and such perfect love originates in God. Therefore, my recommendation is to first get to know Jesus, and based on the evidence He has provided of His supreme loveliness and trustworthiness, open yourself to Him, the One who will never disappoint, never let you down, the One who already knows everything about you and loves you completely. Experience love and intimacy with Him and then, standing on the assurance of your acceptance and intimacy with Jesus, reach out to love others and you will find genuine human intimacy with others who also love and trust Jesus as their Savior.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 74

Thank you so much for opening my eyes. I’ve been through a lot of ministries that just didn’t show the love of God that I felt he was. You have helped me to begin the process of true healing. I thought I was “too far gone,” now I know there’s hope in Jesus, because he loves us beyond what we can comprehend. Thank you again for all you do. I truly appreciate it and pray more people find you (physical at your studio and through this website).

Dalio M.

Testimony 45

I have been confused for years about what [christianity] calls [its] most disgusting teaching. It has never made much sense to me and for that reason has been evermore empty. I have listened to your class off and on and have struggled determining what is truth, because of the resistance design law encounters in the church. So, I thank God for your ministry. What you teach makes sense. It’s logical and backed up by the power of love. I have never seen that in Christ until now. I am astounded by the insight that is found when we look at God’s ministry through design law. All strength to this message, as I believe it to be the power of God.

Brendon S.

 

Testimony 11

I would love to have a copy of “Healing the Mind” DVDs to have in my therapy office. I enjoy having clients check out materials to enhance their therapy experience. I have sat under Dr. Jennings’ teaching at an American Association of Christian Counselors convention and respect his work greatly.

K.B., LA, USA

 

Testimony 52

Your unique way in spreading the truth is what we all need today. Most of us don’t recognize the contamination coming from all the lies and selfishness in the world. Because of our fear of death, we forgot how to live. Lies left and right. I was losing hope and faith, because of so many ideas that are always contradicting each other – so many questions answered by other, more complicated, questions – until I found your channel on YouTube.

You did not just give me answers, you also taught me how to answer new questions that arise in my mind. Now I see things differently. I see God’s mercy, grace, and Love everywhere, in spite of all the chaos that we all have done as humans. I don’t fear death anymore. Accepting the Truth and Love about God is truly a genuine Freedom from all the confusions, sufferings, selfishness, pain, and death.

I just wanted to say, thank you, sooooo much for revealing the real Remedy for our infected life. I have a new hope and now see the world in a different perspective!

Wheinny P., University Place, WA, USA

 

Testimony 2

I continue to enjoy your lessons every week. The more that I research your conclusions, the more I am convinced that the Holy Spirit has lead you to distill out the essence of human redemption. Thank you for your courageous stand for the truth.

S. G., TX, USA

 

Testimony 54

I had a lot of pressure, as a pastor’s kid, to conform and be “good.” I was good at being “good.” I thought my life was going along well until it all started falling apart and I could not figure out why! In my search for “why is this happening to me, God?” I came across your book, “Could it be this Simple,” and God started revealing to me the many distortions I held about His character, His principles, and how He has designed His universe to operate. I remember thinking, “Wow, I have had this all backwards.” I was happy and angry all at the same time. Happy to have the light of truth break through the darkness, revealing a wonderful, beautiful way of understanding God and His plan for His children, and angry, because I felt deceived and cheated by the church, my family, and myself!

My heart thrills when I listen to your bible study lessons. Literally I have gone from death to life. It is a journey I look forward to every day, as God reveals areas this distortion affects. Praise GOD! I will ever be grateful to God for this ministry and your cooperation with the Spirit!

Karen S., Portal, AZ, USA

 

Testimony 68

Your message of design law vs imperial law is so uplifting and makes so much sense- it is a game changer for me. The fact that Jesus’s death is not a big payment by an angry God is , quite frankly, a relief.

Laura G., London, Ontario, Canada

 

Testimony 42

I am just writing to say that I have been so blessed by the teachings of Come And Reason Minitries recently. I watched last week’s bible study lesson on Youtube and am thankful that the error in the printed lesson guide you use was pointed out and this week’s study was of equal benefit, if not more so. My understanding of God’s nature has been very confused of late and I am so grateful for clarity in this matter. I have never really fully understood previously how a good God can cause bad things to happen and now I realise that He doesn’t, it’s a natural consequence of sin. May the almighty Father and His Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, continue to bless your ministry.

Laura P., United Kingdom

 

Testimony 23

I would just like to add my voice to the many people who, I believe, must have contacted you to express their appreciation for the “Healing the Mind” DVDs. I’ve been listening to your Bible study class discussions for many years and I’ve been personally blessed by your research and teaching about the character of God.

L. G., Oakland, MI, USA

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa

 

Testimony 15

I have been sharing Come And Reason Ministries Bible study lessons with several folk. You have such a beautiful view of the plan of salvation. If we had this message preached when I was young, my generation would still all be in church.

H. R., New Zealand

Testimony 18

The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 28

I have been following your Bible study class for about a year now. I must say I am impressed with how your ministry has grown. I took it upon myself to listen to all your lesson podcasts from the past and they have both enriched me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have learnt a lot from this class. I have also noticed how the class has grown in spiritual strength. One of the things that benefited me is that now I am not afraid of God. I use to be, but now it has melted away. The second thing is that you helped me to have a real life relationship with God. Now He is my friend that was always there and I love having him with me all the time. Thirdly, because of this class, it inspired me to take over and lead a class. I have called it “Let Us Reason Together,” adapting your inquisitive style and creating a class of free thinkers.

T. Banda, Malawi, Africa

 

Testimony 67

I was introduced to Come And Reason by a friend of my mother-in-law, who gave me several CD’s of Dr. Jennings. The clarity of the message and recognition that God’s is a God of love was so clear, advancing beyond Dr. Maxwell’s message. However, grappled with Maxwell saying God used emergency measures for the fallen world. Now after several years of being a regular listener of the Come And Reasoning bible study class and attending Jennings’ meetings in Dallas/Fort Worth, TX, things are becoming clearer for me. Design law versus imposed law has added so much to my personal understanding of theology. This message has really impacted my work in counseling so many people miserable because they are searching for and trusting human governments to create order and peace or believing in a God who says love Me or I will kill you. I am grateful that I have an alternative view to offer my clients that makes sense. I teach a bible study class on a semi-regular basis and I value the materials that Come And Reason so freely offers to aid me in presenting this vital message. Thank you for continuing to provide advancement in our very limited understanding of a Infinite God that is rational and believable.

Dr. Roger D, Arlington, TX, USA

 

Testimony 12

I have been really blessed reading your response to the various questions on your site.

K.C., OH, USA