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Genuine Intimacy – What is it and Can Singles Experience it?

Genuine Intimacy – What is it and Can Singles Experience it?

Hi Dr. J,

What exactly is intimacy? Is it a human need or just a want? Is it just for marriage? If it is a need we were created with, how do singles fulfill that need without violating the design protocol?

I’d love if you could do a seminar for singles/divorcees, etc. We’ve been socialized to feel we must have a partner, but in my opinion, I’m going to be miserable if I keeping thinking I need something I may never have. People keep citing “it is not good for man to be alone”…so what if you never marry/re-marry?

Thanks,

Elaine


You have asked some very insightful and important questions. Many people confuse intimacy with sexuality. But true intimacy is about a deep, abiding, trust, confidence, heart fellowship, such that two parties “know” each other and love each other deeply. Such unity is certainly designed to be experienced within the marriage relationship, which also include physical intimacy. However, intimacy of heart is not exclusive to marriage and can be experienced without physical intimacy.

To open yourself to another, to allow another to peer into the deep recesses of your being, to allow yourself to be fully seen, disrobing your soul for the full inspection of another person, and to experience acceptance, love, and appreciation, to be valued and cherished and do the same with the other is what genuine intimacy is all about.

This type of intimacy is to be experienced between those who know and love Christ. Such unity is how God has designed his intelligent beings to live and what Christ prayed to his Father about in John 17 “I pray that they may all be one. Father! May they be in us, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (vs. 21) We are to experience unity of heart, knowing and loving each other deeply.

Intimacy is a human need, part of God’s design for our being and not exclusive to the marriage relationship. Singles can experience intimacy first in their relationship with God, as Jesus modeled for us, and second in true human friendships. But such intimacy is only safe with those who are trustworthy, those who genuinely love you more than they love themselves. This means, true intimacy can only be experienced by those who are in union with God, just as Jesus prayed. “They will know we are Christians by our love.”

While intimacy is a human need, marriage, in this world of sin, is not for everyone. It is true marriage was part of God’s design for humanity in Eden, but because of sin not all humans are well fitted for marriage. Some individuals actual function better as single people. Jesus, after counseling his disciples about marriage said, “For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (MT 19:11:12)

Jesus states plainly that some, for God’s kingdom, have chosen to remain single, while others were eunuchs by birth and others by man’s abuse. Being single, however, doesn’t mean one cannot be intimate. Single people can open their hearts in love and become united in genuine Christlike love with others.

What prevents one from experiencing true intimacy? Either one’s own fear (fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt, fear of not being liked) or inability to find another person who actually is capable of genuine other-centered love; of these two possibilities, failure to experience intimacy is almost always due to one’s own fear and insecurity.

Perfect love casts out all fear, and such perfect love originates in God. Therefore, my recommendation is to first get to know Jesus, and based on the evidence He has provided of His supreme loveliness and trustworthiness, open yourself to Him, the One who will never disappoint, never let you down, the One who already knows everything about you and loves you completely. Experience love and intimacy with Him and then, standing on the assurance of your acceptance and intimacy with Jesus, reach out to love others and you will find genuine human intimacy with others who also love and trust Jesus as their Savior.

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Testimony 37

Hearing Dr. Jennings’ presentations in person came at a pivotal moment in my spiritual journey that began about nine months ago, when the fault lines inherent in my belief system began to crack under questions that most reasonable people end up asking about God and His nature. These were questions I couldn’t find answers to, and they shook my faith. I was unable let it go any longer and be satisfied. My Christian experience became distant. I was afraid; the fear in me rose like thorns, pushing me away from Jesus. And then someone heard my questions and introduced me to this ministry, and my life has totally changed.

I can tell you that this new, “present truth” message is far grander and life-changing than when I shifted from being an agnostic and then a nominal Christian. It has radically altered my worldview, because it reveals a God that makes sense. It is a revolution. I believe that Dr. Jennings’ message is the final message that must go to the world. If any message could be called “righteousness by faith,” as abused as that term is by the right and the left, this is that message, because Jennings’ biblical message identifies a God who is different, whose character isn’t an impossible contradiction.

I walk this path now without fear. I see people differently, and the Holy Spirit burns in my heart. Many call Dr. Jennings’ message false and compromising, but it isn’t false, because I’ve seen the fruits within my mind and body. It is not compromising, because in this message is the only road to holiness that makes any sense. No longer do I behold a pagan god who is always angry and suspicious. Instead, I behold a God who is freeing and loving, always working for our good, and giving me every reason to love my enemy even to my own death, just as Jesus pleads with us. God is good.

Anthony L., CA, USA

 

Testimony 28

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T. Banda, Malawi, Africa

 

Testimony 70

I have been watching you for many years and have learned to love God with all my heart. I was raised by a loving Christian mother that had been lied to about who God really was, so our religious upbringing was hell fire and damnation. As soon as I was old enough and moved out, I not only left the church, I ran as fast as I could to get away from it. Sad to say, it wasn’t until the past couple of years that I learned and understand who my Father really is and how much He loves me. I understand God’s Design Laws (which make sense) and when I’m teaching my church Bible study class, I’m able to really put to use the things I’ve been learning and Holy Spirit is leading. Thank you for introducing me to my Father of true, pure love. Everyday with Him is new and exciting. One thing that breaks my heart is that I didn’t know Him sooner. God Bless you and your ministry!

Judy Phelps, Reno, NV, USA

Testimony 31

It was very touching to hear the testimony of your class share how viewing God’s true character has changed their lives. My feelings are the same – there is so much freedom in knowing that God LOVES me – regardless of my… just, REGARDLESS! I’m still blown away by the true gospel, the fact that God is not ready to strike us when we fail. He is not arbitrary. He simply loves us and warns of the natural consequences because He can’t stand to see us suffer. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD!!!

Ceil V.,  UT, USA

 

Testimony 34

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Tony P., CA, USA

 

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K.C., OH, USA

 

Testimony 44

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Testimony 30

God lead me to your book “The God-Shaped Brain” while I was searching for another book about the brain and then to your interview about your book on HeartWise Ministries [where] I found out about [Come And Reason Ministries]. I’m now devouring the webcasts of your Bible studies. I have been so greatly blessed and I thank God so much for your courage to speak the Truth in love no matter what. Listening to you contrast the two opposing systems (laws) and digging deep to unearth the hidden treasures in the Bible makes me so incredibly happy and I feel very blessed to be part of your Bible Study Group although I live far away. I am just so excited that there is a group of people that is spreading the Truth about the character of God and it saddens me how few realize what our Father in Heaven is really like.

Kessy B., Australia

 

Testimony 23

I would just like to add my voice to the many people who, I believe, must have contacted you to express their appreciation for the “Healing the Mind” DVDs. I’ve been listening to your Bible study class discussions for many years and I’ve been personally blessed by your research and teaching about the character of God.

L. G., Oakland, MI, USA

 

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Ashleighn C.

 

Testimony 65

I have been tuning into your weekly study classes for a while now and wanted express my appreciation for the teachings that ha been a huge blessing in opening up the true message of the word. Viewing scripture under an imposed law theory always, without fail, raised more questions, concerns, and conflicting scripture interpretations that were discouraging at the very least. Looking at scripture through the design law lens has brought more truth to light for me personally and an understanding of our Heavenly Father that places Him “above all others,” where I am now more than thrilled to witness and serve Him.  I “stumbled” across this ministry a year or so ago and would only watch a few minutes at a time. But the more I listened and the longer I paid attention, the more my spiritual eyes were opened to the ever present truths of scripture. The comprehension of the great controversy and it’s origin by the lies perpetrated and perpetuated throughout the Bible on the attack of God’s character and government is truly priceless. Keep up the Good Work! Your servanthood is desperately needed in such a time as this!

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Testimony 10

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B. L.M., North Plains, OR, USA

 

Testimony 52

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Testimony 29

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Testimony 47

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