Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Forgiveness: What Is It?

Forgiveness: What Is It?

I am hoping you can help me with an issue I struggle with. What exactly is forgiveness? I have read a lot about what it isn’t. I have your book, your DVD, and your CDs. I have read, watched, and listened many times and struggle with this.

When Christ said to the father, “forgive them for they no not what they do,” exactly what was Jesus asking God to do? Show mercy? Accept them for who they are? What? What does it mean in the Lords prayer when it says, “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”? What exactly does it mean to say “they owe me nothing?” Where do boundaries fit in with forgiving especially when there is no possible way of reconciliation? What do you do with all the well meaning advise that “Christian people” constantly give about how I am to “forgive,” which in most people’s mind is reconciling. Am I to hold no ill feelings in my heart towards them? Every time I think of them am I to have warm fuzzes? Is that realistic? Is that possible on this earth? What exactly is expected of me in this process? If you could please explain in more detail it would be helpful.

 Anonymous


You are not alone in your struggle to forgive. Forgiveness goes against our “natural” human desire. Our natural human desire wants vengeance, too often disguised in church-speak as “justice.” What is forgiveness? There are two aspects or types of forgiveness and people often confuse the two leading to struggles similar to yours.

Forgiveness aspect number one: Forgiveness is the process whereby we heal after injury. It is the process of love overcoming selfishness in the heart of the offended. It is the process of obstructing the spread of sin and extending the kingdom of God – love. This forgiveness occurs within the heart, mind, soul of the one injured or wronged. If we struggle against this type of forgiveness it would be like resisting sutures after a laceration, or refusing physical therapy after a broken leg. When we forgive an offender we do not change the offender, instead we uproot the evil seed the offender planted in our hearts when they sinned against us. The offender is changed, not by our forgiveness, but by their repentance and reconciliation with God. The offender can experience the transforming and healing power of God in their life regardless of whether we forgive them or not. Our forgiveness of an offender does not determine the outcome of the offender’s life, it determines the outcome of our life. Why? Because if we refuse to forgive, but instead hold to resentment, anger and bitterness our hearts harden and our characters warp unfitting us for eternity. It is only by forgiving those who have injured us that we move forward in God’s healing grace.

Forgiveness aspect number two: Forgiveness can also mean the entire process of reconciliation, the position in which the offender stands. When we speak about a person being forgiven, we can be speaking in regard to the heart of the offender or the experiential state of the offender. Jesus has forgiven those who crucified Him. In this case “forgiven” is in regard to Jesus’ heart attitude. But for those who crucified Jesus and never repented but instead continued to oppose Jesus, they remained untrustworthy and reconciliation with God did not occur. Thus even though Jesus has forgiven them in His heart, those offenders, having not opened their hearts to receive that forgiveness, remain in an unforgiven state.

When Jesus said to the Father “forgive them they know not what they do” Jesus was not asking the Father to do anything, but was revealing the heart of the Father. Jesus was demonstrating what the Godhead had already done in Their heart toward all of us who have opposed God. “Jesus said, ‘When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me… For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it.’” ((John 8:28, 12:49). When Jesus spoke on the Cross He was demonstrating the heart attitude of God so that all would know what God’s heart is toward sinners. Thus all sinners may know with certainty that God’s heart is one of forgiveness. Those who crucified Him didn’t know what they were doing because they thought they were killing Him, but in actuality they were hardening their hearts against the only source of life and destroying their own souls. So, even though God’s heart was constantly one of forgiveness, they closed their hearts and failed to experience that forgiveness therefore remaining in the position of one unforgiven or unreconciled.

The Lord’s Prayer means if we refuse to forgive others we demonstrate that our hearts have relished hatred, vengeance, selfishness and refused love, mercy and grace. Thus when we refuse to forgive others it is evidence of an unregenerate heart in us. Just like those who crucified Christ, even though God’s heart is one of forgiveness, if we refuse to forgive others we close the avenue of our heart and mind to His grace and cut ourselves off from experiencing His regenerating power and therefore remain in an “unforgiven” state.

Boundaries are established based on the trustworthiness of the person in question. We may forgive someone but still not trust them because they have not changed and remain untrustworthy. And if they are untrustworthy we cannot reconcile with them. This is how it will be with God and the wicked who are lost. God’s heart will still be for them, loving and forgiving toward them, but the lost will be so solidified into selfishness and hatred toward God they are unfit for heaven and therefore a permanent boundary of eternal death is experienced.

To the degree we hold ill feelings in our hearts toward others it is evidence of further healing work we need in our hearts. Instead of ill feelings, when we come to love our enemies we move toward compassion, sympathy and sadness for them as we recognize that their evil lifestyle is destroying their own souls and disqualifying them for heaven. The closer we come to Jesus, the more clearly we see reality from a heavenly perspective and from this perspective our abusers are not to be hated, but pitied. Just as Jesus said, “they know not what they do.” In every act of sin we damage our mind, sear our conscience, warp our reason and debase our souls. Without reconciliation with God such damage is unhealable and the wicked will one day experience the full weight of their choices and be eternally lost.

In summary, forgiveness is the process of receiving God’s love and truth into the heart and allowing that love to heal and transform us to the point we relinquish a desire for vengeance or retribution or payback upon those who have offended us. We set the offender free and extend grace which has a further healing process upon us, our families and communities. We don’t trust the untrustworthy, but we also don’t hate or despise them. Instead, we experience a sense of compassion or pity for them knowing their evil course is destroying their own souls.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 3

My husband is a pastor and I listen to your lesson almost every week. Thank you for helping me in my study life and to help me love the “real” God more.

C. F., NC, USA

 

Testimony 33

I was invited over a friend’s house to see the “God and Your Brain” seminar today. I became [a christian] 36 years ago at the age of 19, but have struggled with the concept of God taking His ‘pound of flesh’ out on His Son to be appeased. Wow. Your seminar has been an incredible revelation and breath of reason and fresh air! I have your book, “The God Shaped Brain,” and it is SO eye opening. Finally, after 36 years enlightenment has come! Praise the Good Lord! What can I say, but that the Real Gospel is truly “Good News!” Thank you for your efforts in giving the Gospel a clear sound!

Paul C.,  Springfield, MA, USA

 

Testimony 50

After coming into contact with Come And Reason Ministries, I can finally say that many of my unanswered questions have fallen into place. I discovered that my view of God’s Law was “imposed laws and rules” with “imposed punishments” and that this was the major culprit of my many unanswered questions. Thanks be to God for using you and those around you to help us who have struggled with this “infection” of thought. I have now rejected the “imposed law” concept to fully embrace “Design Law”… to look thru “Design Law,” instead of “imposed law,” is a relief.

Viliami L., Australia

 

Testimony 61

I grew up in a prominent protestant church and had what I like to call religious anxiety. I’ve always had questions about God and Salvation that no one could seem to answer.  I didn’t know how to find resolution. During 2020, at the height of my anxiety, I fell to my knees and begged God to show me truth and light and to give me the hope that I’ve been longing for. Days later, I stumbled upon your online videos and it was like a veil was lifted and EVERYTHING made sense! For the first time in my almost 39 years of life, my religious/spiritual anxiety has lessened. I feel a sense of freedom and peace I’ve NEVER had before… and it’s all because my view of God has changed. Thank you!

Ashleighn C.

 

Testimony 46

Over the past couple of years God has been expanding my view of Himself and His character. Along my approximately 40-year journey, I have often had questions, but was hesitant to voice these and step outside the traditionally accepted thinking, for fear of admitting that I may in fact be eternally lost. In the recesses of my thinking has been the thought – if one blindly accepts (which is widely regarded as “real faith”) and does not question, is this really ‘truth?’ I often find it challenging to grapple with very theological ‘speak,’ but Dr. Jennings has a real gift of explaining spiritual concepts with clear practical examples. The weekly discussions are growing my Christian experience and slowly changing my view of how to live as a child of God in today’s complex world. Finally the whole Old Testament sanctuary teaching moved in my mind from fantasy to reality!

Beverly S., South Africa

 

Testimony 5

We listen to your bible studies lessons in our class in Montana. You actually were the main reason I decided to get a laptop, so I can go to your site and listen, read, learn, and print the class notes. I am so grateful to learn the correct view of God and his character. Now, to just have others have an interest in knowing, so I can share it with them. Good thoughts your way.

R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 48

I just want to tell you how blessed I have been reading “The Remedy!” It has become a daily part of my devotional relationship with God. In it I have found a God of love and a God that loves me! The bible has come alive for me! It is the first time that I can say that I have felt hope fill my heart as I have read God’s word. This is good news I can share! Thank you, Dr Jennings! Thank you for your heart for others. I can’t put into words how this has set me free! It has strengthened my trust and love for God.

Jason H.

 

Testimony 20

I just wanted to personally thank you for your teachings and insight into scripture. I came across your website via my cousin who suggested I look into “Healing the Mind” information. My youngest daughter has been struggling over the last couple of years and it all came to a head this spring. When I started listening to the “Healing the Mind” lectures my own life began to be transformed. I began sharing with all my daughters the concepts you laid out so clearly. I ordered your book and soaked it up. I just want to say “Thank You!” My walk with the Lord has been refreshed and renewed. Your obedience to the Lord is a blessing to so many.

R. K., Anderson, SC, USA

 

Testimony 26

Your teachings about our heavenly Father have changed my life. Thank you sooooooo very very much! I know He’s doing some serious healing in my heart and life and I look forward to each new day to learn something new about Him and to just hear you speak about Him. Thank you, forever.

Nancy S.

 

Testimony 19

I truly believe that to know who God really is the first step to understand ourselves in a balanced and kind way, so the healing can take place. Your approach really makes sense – Thank you for your ministry!

A.M., Pittsburg, PA, USA

Testimony 24

I wanted to thank you very much for presenting your understanding of God. I’ve always been troubled by this question: Why did Jesus have to die? Since my conversion I understood that The Father & Jesus are one, I did not have issues with that. But was there not any other way to save us than for Jesus to die? I guess I actually had a question about God – if He is so wise, how come He did not find another way? I did not see the real ‘beauty’  in the cross. Only when you explained the picture in the medical context, Jesus providing medicine for my selfishness, have I started to finally ‘see the light’. Thank you so much. Your seminar, “Healing the Mind,” are absolutely marvelous & have shared them with my family and many other people, including colleagues at work. Thanks, thanks, thanks. May God bless you abundantly in your ministry.

M. W., Australia

 

Testimony 34

I was introduced to Come and Reason Ministries by accident, via a passing comment made in a bible study class we were visiting. I checked this website out and my life was changed. The understanding of the truth of God’s character, and how we apply it, is so right. The tricky part is consistently applying which “lens” to look through. As I began to understand, I started sharing the basics of this understanding with a discussion group I was leading and, suddenly, a lot of things started to make sense that never used to. At the same time, I enjoyed an amazing opportunity. I was able to conduct a full bible study at WORK! What an amazing experience! It is such a joy to share the truth about God and to share how it all fits in the war between God and Satan. So many people benefit when we have a correct understanding about how God works and who He really is! Thank you for this transformational understanding. Keep up the good work! God Bless you!

Tony P., CA, USA

 

Testimony 13

I borrowed “Healing The Mind” DVDs from a friend and showed them at my home for a small gathering of women friends. Neither of my friends are Adventist, but they both enjoyed and embraced the messages you taught. In fact, one of the ladies prayed out loud in our group and that was the first time she had ever had public prayer.

J.B. ,Dalles, OR, USA

 

Testimony 71

When I was 9 years old, I remember setting at our devotional table with a hunger and thirst for God that wanted more, deeper, BETTER. I can remember literally crying and pounding on the table, “I know these teachers didn’t mean to give us error. They taught what THEY had been TAUGHT, but didn’t ANYBODY READ THE BOOK?!?!?” It mattered to me then. It mattered to me as a teenager. It matters now as I teach bible classes. It didn’t have to be so hard as I watched so many give up and lay God’s great plan and gift of salvation aside as being “impossible.” Then, a friend sent me a link to Come And Reason’s website. I grew excited. YES! FINALLY! Then another friend told me to stay away, saying her son had just broken up with a girl because she was involved with Come And Reason and that “Tim Jennings preaches a false gospel.” But, AFTER many years of developing an authentic and, dare I say FUN relationship with Jesus, through the Holy Spirit I see this message has been around a LONG time, since the apostle Paul, Ellen White, Graham Maxwell, Ray Foucher, and yourself (though I admit, you’ve made me back up, rewind and replay the clips, and get out my well-worn Bible on a few things.) I’m so thankful I have found LIGHT during these DARK days. I am not alone.

Vicki DiNitto

Testimony 31

It was very touching to hear the testimony of your class share how viewing God’s true character has changed their lives. My feelings are the same – there is so much freedom in knowing that God LOVES me – regardless of my… just, REGARDLESS! I’m still blown away by the true gospel, the fact that God is not ready to strike us when we fail. He is not arbitrary. He simply loves us and warns of the natural consequences because He can’t stand to see us suffer. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD!!!

Ceil V.,  UT, USA