Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Forgiveness: What Is It?

Forgiveness: What Is It?

I am hoping you can help me with an issue I struggle with. What exactly is forgiveness? I have read a lot about what it isn’t. I have your book, your DVD, and your CDs. I have read, watched, and listened many times and struggle with this.

When Christ said to the father, “forgive them for they no not what they do,” exactly what was Jesus asking God to do? Show mercy? Accept them for who they are? What? What does it mean in the Lords prayer when it says, “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”? What exactly does it mean to say “they owe me nothing?” Where do boundaries fit in with forgiving especially when there is no possible way of reconciliation? What do you do with all the well meaning advise that “Christian people” constantly give about how I am to “forgive,” which in most people’s mind is reconciling. Am I to hold no ill feelings in my heart towards them? Every time I think of them am I to have warm fuzzes? Is that realistic? Is that possible on this earth? What exactly is expected of me in this process? If you could please explain in more detail it would be helpful.

 Anonymous


You are not alone in your struggle to forgive. Forgiveness goes against our “natural” human desire. Our natural human desire wants vengeance, too often disguised in church-speak as “justice.” What is forgiveness? There are two aspects or types of forgiveness and people often confuse the two leading to struggles similar to yours.

Forgiveness aspect number one: Forgiveness is the process whereby we heal after injury. It is the process of love overcoming selfishness in the heart of the offended. It is the process of obstructing the spread of sin and extending the kingdom of God – love. This forgiveness occurs within the heart, mind, soul of the one injured or wronged. If we struggle against this type of forgiveness it would be like resisting sutures after a laceration, or refusing physical therapy after a broken leg. When we forgive an offender we do not change the offender, instead we uproot the evil seed the offender planted in our hearts when they sinned against us. The offender is changed, not by our forgiveness, but by their repentance and reconciliation with God. The offender can experience the transforming and healing power of God in their life regardless of whether we forgive them or not. Our forgiveness of an offender does not determine the outcome of the offender’s life, it determines the outcome of our life. Why? Because if we refuse to forgive, but instead hold to resentment, anger and bitterness our hearts harden and our characters warp unfitting us for eternity. It is only by forgiving those who have injured us that we move forward in God’s healing grace.

Forgiveness aspect number two: Forgiveness can also mean the entire process of reconciliation, the position in which the offender stands. When we speak about a person being forgiven, we can be speaking in regard to the heart of the offender or the experiential state of the offender. Jesus has forgiven those who crucified Him. In this case “forgiven” is in regard to Jesus’ heart attitude. But for those who crucified Jesus and never repented but instead continued to oppose Jesus, they remained untrustworthy and reconciliation with God did not occur. Thus even though Jesus has forgiven them in His heart, those offenders, having not opened their hearts to receive that forgiveness, remain in an unforgiven state.

When Jesus said to the Father “forgive them they know not what they do” Jesus was not asking the Father to do anything, but was revealing the heart of the Father. Jesus was demonstrating what the Godhead had already done in Their heart toward all of us who have opposed God. “Jesus said, ‘When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me… For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it.’” ((John 8:28, 12:49). When Jesus spoke on the Cross He was demonstrating the heart attitude of God so that all would know what God’s heart is toward sinners. Thus all sinners may know with certainty that God’s heart is one of forgiveness. Those who crucified Him didn’t know what they were doing because they thought they were killing Him, but in actuality they were hardening their hearts against the only source of life and destroying their own souls. So, even though God’s heart was constantly one of forgiveness, they closed their hearts and failed to experience that forgiveness therefore remaining in the position of one unforgiven or unreconciled.

The Lord’s Prayer means if we refuse to forgive others we demonstrate that our hearts have relished hatred, vengeance, selfishness and refused love, mercy and grace. Thus when we refuse to forgive others it is evidence of an unregenerate heart in us. Just like those who crucified Christ, even though God’s heart is one of forgiveness, if we refuse to forgive others we close the avenue of our heart and mind to His grace and cut ourselves off from experiencing His regenerating power and therefore remain in an “unforgiven” state.

Boundaries are established based on the trustworthiness of the person in question. We may forgive someone but still not trust them because they have not changed and remain untrustworthy. And if they are untrustworthy we cannot reconcile with them. This is how it will be with God and the wicked who are lost. God’s heart will still be for them, loving and forgiving toward them, but the lost will be so solidified into selfishness and hatred toward God they are unfit for heaven and therefore a permanent boundary of eternal death is experienced.

To the degree we hold ill feelings in our hearts toward others it is evidence of further healing work we need in our hearts. Instead of ill feelings, when we come to love our enemies we move toward compassion, sympathy and sadness for them as we recognize that their evil lifestyle is destroying their own souls and disqualifying them for heaven. The closer we come to Jesus, the more clearly we see reality from a heavenly perspective and from this perspective our abusers are not to be hated, but pitied. Just as Jesus said, “they know not what they do.” In every act of sin we damage our mind, sear our conscience, warp our reason and debase our souls. Without reconciliation with God such damage is unhealable and the wicked will one day experience the full weight of their choices and be eternally lost.

In summary, forgiveness is the process of receiving God’s love and truth into the heart and allowing that love to heal and transform us to the point we relinquish a desire for vengeance or retribution or payback upon those who have offended us. We set the offender free and extend grace which has a further healing process upon us, our families and communities. We don’t trust the untrustworthy, but we also don’t hate or despise them. Instead, we experience a sense of compassion or pity for them knowing their evil course is destroying their own souls.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 12

I have been really blessed reading your response to the various questions on your site.

K.C., OH, USA

 

Testimony 31

It was very touching to hear the testimony of your class share how viewing God’s true character has changed their lives. My feelings are the same – there is so much freedom in knowing that God LOVES me – regardless of my… just, REGARDLESS! I’m still blown away by the true gospel, the fact that God is not ready to strike us when we fail. He is not arbitrary. He simply loves us and warns of the natural consequences because He can’t stand to see us suffer. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD!!!

Ceil V.,  UT, USA

 

Testimony 47

I can’t even begin to thank you and your ministry enough for introducing me to the Truth about a loving and merciful God! I have my daughter and her in-laws to thank for sharing with me “The God-Shaped Brain” as well as your website. I listen to the Bible study class lessons on my daily walk. May God continue to bless your thirst-quenching ministry!

Liz H., Port Angeles, WA, USA

 

 

Testimony 11

I would love to have a copy of “Healing the Mind” DVDs to have in my therapy office. I enjoy having clients check out materials to enhance their therapy experience. I have sat under Dr. Jennings’ teaching at an American Association of Christian Counselors convention and respect his work greatly.

K.B., LA, USA

 

Testimony 15

I have been sharing Come And Reason Ministries Bible study lessons with several folk. You have such a beautiful view of the plan of salvation. If we had this message preached when I was young, my generation would still all be in church.

H. R., New Zealand

Testimony 10

I personally download and listen to each of Come And Reason Ministries Bible study class lessons and PDF study notes to use when teaching my class. Really appreciate the class especially when Dr. Jennings is teaching. Thank God there are persons like him doing His work and traveling to share His beliefs.

B. L.M., North Plains, OR, USA

 

Testimony 60

Just watched watched lesson 10 in the 1st quarter 2021 bible study classs on Isaiah. I want to thank you for your intellectual spirituality; it’s not an oxymoron! From the point of view of a teacher I also enjoy seeing how much personal pleasure you clearly take in not just tasting, but feasting on God’s word – it reminds me of Jeremiah not being able to hold it in! It makes me smile that your cup is so full and overflowing that you make it to Tuesday’s lesson (on a good day). It just goes to show the richness of God’s Word.

God bless the Come and Reason Team from our church here in Great Britain.

Andrew H., Great Britain

 

Testimony 53

I was so blessed by a friend who gave me your book, “The God Shaped Brain,” while I was sitting in church asking God to please help me learn more about Him and help me not to be so confused and scared. That was about 2 years ago. Your books have helped me to love God even more. I’m not confused or scared anymore! I have listened to all of your bible study classes and feel like I know the wonderful people that attend every week. Thank you for all that you’re doing in spreading the true message about God and His law of love. God bless you and your whole class.

Elssy P., Modesto, CA, USA

 

Testimony 75

Thank you so much for everything you do! Because of all these truths, I’m excited to be with Jesus! I always pray everyday, “COME TODAY, JESUS.” Before finding C&R, I was always praying for delays, “NOT TODAY OH GOD. I AM NOT READY.” I just need to share more, talk more bout this truth, so everybody will be excited for Jesus.

J C Shin

Testimony 44

We were given a gift of the DVD set, “God and Your Brain,” and we just finished watching it. The truths in this are so powerful and truly an answer to a prayer. We’re seeing hope where once we thought God wasn’t answering our prayers to be free of certain mindsets. He answered with these DVDs and we are hungry for more. Thank you!

Daniel T., Easley, SC, USA

 

Testimony 45

I have been confused for years about what [christianity] calls [its] most disgusting teaching. It has never made much sense to me and for that reason has been evermore empty. I have listened to your class off and on and have struggled determining what is truth, because of the resistance design law encounters in the church. So, I thank God for your ministry. What you teach makes sense. It’s logical and backed up by the power of love. I have never seen that in Christ until now. I am astounded by the insight that is found when we look at God’s ministry through design law. All strength to this message, as I believe it to be the power of God.

Brendon S.

 

Testimony 36

Thank you and may God continue to bless you as you share with others the intricacies of how we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”. I must share that you have opened a whole new world to me, and I have found tremendous healing through what you have shared in two of your books, “Could It Be This Simple?” and “The God Shaped Brain.” I praise God for what you shared, what I have learned, and how I have grown and healed! My prayer is that My Precious Jesus will be seen by others in the way I live, act, talk, etc. and they may be encouraged to know He is truly a GREAT God of LOVE, desiring that no one should perish! God Bless you in your continued endeavors to present Him as He really is!

Joleen H. GA, USA

 

Testimony 41

I have been blessed by your ministry. I have experienced personally, and deeply resonate with, the God of love and the beautiful picture of God’s character that you present. I have seen your seminar series on YouTube, read ‘The Journal of the Watcher’ book, used your mobile app, and also listen/study the bible study lesson with you each week. I concur with many of the thoughts and perspectives that you share. I understand your conclusions on natural laws vs imposed law and the legal/penal substitution (incorrect diagnosis). This makes perfect sense to me.

Bless you for all you do.

Melissa L.

 

Testimony 3

My husband is a pastor and I listen to your lesson almost every week. Thank you for helping me in my study life and to help me love the “real” God more.

C. F., NC, USA

 

Testimony 61

I grew up in a prominent protestant church and had what I like to call religious anxiety. I’ve always had questions about God and Salvation that no one could seem to answer.  I didn’t know how to find resolution. During 2020, at the height of my anxiety, I fell to my knees and begged God to show me truth and light and to give me the hope that I’ve been longing for. Days later, I stumbled upon your online videos and it was like a veil was lifted and EVERYTHING made sense! For the first time in my almost 39 years of life, my religious/spiritual anxiety has lessened. I feel a sense of freedom and peace I’ve NEVER had before… and it’s all because my view of God has changed. Thank you!

Ashleighn C.