Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Does God Choose Our Life Partner?

Does God Choose Our Life Partner?

Is it true that God has created one person for each of us? what if i miss out on him and marry someone else, what happens then?

how do I know that such and such person if the right one for me? I know that we should bring these matters to God in prayer, but how does He answer? Many at times I’ve found that guys like to marry ladies who look very good. They should have everything perfect. Not everyone is perfect, so does that mean some will not be able to ever marry? Does God decide who should and shouldn’t get married?


Second only to our decision to surrender our lives to God, is our decision of life partner. As I travel I find people of all ages struggling with the very questions you have asked, so thank you for sending them.

God has designed human beings for relationship. In Eden God looked upon Adam and said it was not good for Adam to be alone and God created a partner specifically for Adam. Eve was created as Adam’s helper to help Adam enter into greater depths of Godlike love by providing someone for Adam to serve. Eve was Adam’s “second self” a being of equal worth, value, intelligence, and to whom Adam was to pour himself upon in humble love and service. Eve was to receive Adam’s love and respond with equal love, service and giving of herself to uplift Adam. Thus God’s design for mankind was the perfect intercourse of other-centered love revealing the love of the Godhead.

God’s creation of Eve is the only inspired recording we have of God specifically creating a marriage partner for someone. This means that God does not create “one” specific person for every one of us. While God’s design for marriage has not changed, mankind has been changed by sin. Our hearts are not perfect and we suffer from many defects that sin has brought upon the race. This means we must be careful in our selection of a life partner.

Not all persons are well suited to spend their lives together, even if both are genuinely surrendered to God. Therefore, some persons will find greater joy, peace, contentment and usefulness in God’s cause as single persons. This is no sin, but a wise choice exercised by those who know themselves well.  Others however, function better with a healthy marriage relationship, and finding a compatible partner is critical.

Because God has not created “one” specific person for each of us we don’t need to worry about “missing out” on that “one special person.” In this world there are many individuals with whom we can form a long term, loving, healthy and compatible relationship. So, don’t live in fear of “missing” the “only one.”

Healthy relationships require healthy people. Therefore, the first step in pursuing a marriage partner is to ensure you are the most spiritually mature person you can be. Instead of praying, “God help me find the person you would have be my spouse,” pray, “God, help me become the person you would have me be, capable of loving my spouse as you have loved me.” Once you have honestly dealt with step one, then you are ready to move on to step two.

How to tell who is “right” to marry? Another way to say it, how can I know if a particular person is well suited to be my life partner? By examining the evidence of their qualifications to be your life partner. And this is the purpose of dating. Dating is not for the purpose of getting someone to like you. Dating is for the purpose of evaluating whether the other person is qualified to be your life partner.

Jesus said, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45).

What this means is that each of us reveal in our actions and deeds the true nature of our hearts. Therefore, the wise person in the dating process does not date based on how the other person makes them feel, but with their good judgment involved evaluating the quality of character revealed and the general compatibility of interests, values and future goals.

If you were in charge of hiring for your company, upon what would you base your hiring decisions? Would it not be on the qualifications of the applicants?

What is more important to your life, employees at your firm or your life partner? Upon what factors are you deciding who will be your life partner? Have you determined the qualifications necessary for someone to be your life partner? If not you are not ready to date or pursue marriage.

Step two is stepping back and making a list of qualifications a person MUST possess in order to be qualified as your life partner. This list is only composed of non-negotiable elements, items that you could not live without. For instance, in order to be qualified as your life partner a person must genuinely like you for who you are. If they don’t like you for who you are, but are trying to change you, then they are not qualified. Another qualification is that the person we marry MUST be attractive to us. No one will be happy in a marriage with someone they don’t find attractive, but physical attraction alone is not enough to qualify someone for life partnership.

So, prayerfully prepare yourself to be the healthiest person you can be to love your future spouse, then make a list of qualifications a person must possess in order to be your life partner. Finally, with this list in mind begin the dating process, observe the person you are dating, allow them to reveal their true self over time, prayerfully reflect upon the evidence they reveal, gather input from the observations of trusted family and friends and then you, not God, must choose who you will marry.

In the process always keep your heart humble before God, asking Him to enlighten your mind to see the evidence and true qualities of the person you are dating, and then choose to act based upon those facts.

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 20

I just wanted to personally thank you for your teachings and insight into scripture. I came across your website via my cousin who suggested I look into “Healing the Mind” information. My youngest daughter has been struggling over the last couple of years and it all came to a head this spring. When I started listening to the “Healing the Mind” lectures my own life began to be transformed. I began sharing with all my daughters the concepts you laid out so clearly. I ordered your book and soaked it up. I just want to say “Thank You!” My walk with the Lord has been refreshed and renewed. Your obedience to the Lord is a blessing to so many.

R. K., Anderson, SC, USA

 

Testimony 5

We listen to your bible studies lessons in our class in Montana. You actually were the main reason I decided to get a laptop, so I can go to your site and listen, read, learn, and print the class notes. I am so grateful to learn the correct view of God and his character. Now, to just have others have an interest in knowing, so I can share it with them. Good thoughts your way.

R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 36

Thank you and may God continue to bless you as you share with others the intricacies of how we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”. I must share that you have opened a whole new world to me, and I have found tremendous healing through what you have shared in two of your books, “Could It Be This Simple?” and “The God Shaped Brain.” I praise God for what you shared, what I have learned, and how I have grown and healed! My prayer is that My Precious Jesus will be seen by others in the way I live, act, talk, etc. and they may be encouraged to know He is truly a GREAT God of LOVE, desiring that no one should perish! God Bless you in your continued endeavors to present Him as He really is!

Joleen H. GA, USA

 

Testimony 42

I am just writing to say that I have been so blessed by the teachings of Come And Reason Minitries recently. I watched last week’s bible study lesson on Youtube and am thankful that the error in the printed lesson guide you use was pointed out and this week’s study was of equal benefit, if not more so. My understanding of God’s nature has been very confused of late and I am so grateful for clarity in this matter. I have never really fully understood previously how a good God can cause bad things to happen and now I realise that He doesn’t, it’s a natural consequence of sin. May the almighty Father and His Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, continue to bless your ministry.

Laura P., United Kingdom

 

Testimony 22

I have found your Bible study class lectures to be very inspiring and useful as I prepare to teach class every other week. I subscribe to the podcast and download your notes on the weeks I teach. The audio and notes are such a great help in preparing. My own understanding of God’s character has grown as I teach the class. Commendations on the thought-provoking and well-prepared material Come and Reason provides. Personally, I get excited by the tie you make between the spiritual and mental/physical domains.

A.A. Corrales, NM, USA

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa

 

Testimony 41

I have been blessed by your ministry. I have experienced personally, and deeply resonate with, the God of love and the beautiful picture of God’s character that you present. I have seen your seminar series on YouTube, read ‘The Journal of the Watcher’ book, used your mobile app, and also listen/study the bible study lesson with you each week. I concur with many of the thoughts and perspectives that you share. I understand your conclusions on natural laws vs imposed law and the legal/penal substitution (incorrect diagnosis). This makes perfect sense to me.

Bless you for all you do.

Melissa L.

 

Testimony 19

I truly believe that to know who God really is the first step to understand ourselves in a balanced and kind way, so the healing can take place. Your approach really makes sense – Thank you for your ministry!

A.M., Pittsburg, PA, USA

Testimony 72

I am blown away by the truth that you present. God’s Design Law makes so much sense! You have validated my impression that, if God is love, He would not kill those who don’t want to know him. If God gives us choice, then how can He destroy us if our choice is not to follow him. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to the pure love of God seen through Jesus. The love I now have for Jesus is deeper and free from condemnation. My heart has been opened to love others as Jesus loves me. May God continue to bless your God-given insight into His word and your ministry. The truth has set me free!

H. Miller, Centereach, NY

Testimony 47

I can’t even begin to thank you and your ministry enough for introducing me to the Truth about a loving and merciful God! I have my daughter and her in-laws to thank for sharing with me “The God-Shaped Brain” as well as your website. I listen to the Bible study class lessons on my daily walk. May God continue to bless your thirst-quenching ministry!

Liz H., Port Angeles, WA, USA

 

 

Testimony 29

Thank you for all of your work to correct misconceptions about God’s character. So many people that my husband and I have talked to seem to be against the natural law construct and view it as “errant” and “dangerous.” Having learned more about it through your blogs and lessons, I don’t really understand why they view it that way, except that it means they have to relearn theology they have known for their entire lives. But I’m so excited to relearn this. For the past few years I have been questioning how I could trust a God who punishes arbitrarily and is full of wrath for those who don’t obey His commands. That view made me afraid to “mess up” or “not be good enough,” even within my relationship with God. I really appreciated the point you bring out about God not wanting us to serve Him because we are afraid, but because we love Him.

Melissa H., IN, USA

 

Testimony 40

I was brought up in a different faith and have been petrified my whole life of God. I believed that I would burn in hell for eternity. When I was 12 I started pursuing the things of this world, but for the next 45 years the Spirit was always calling me, as I knew there was a God through nature. I could see the vast sea of stars in the universe and knew there was something bigger out there. Five years ago, through a Revelation seminar, I was blessed to learn about God’s character and government.

Then I found Come and Reason Ministries and have come under some extreme pressure when I speak about the ministry. One time a member sent me an internet article titled “Whats wrong with Tim Jennings?” I asked her what she thought of it and she said “I don’t know, I didn’t read it.”

I have always wanted to find out for myself the truth about God, so I stayed with the Design Law construct and have been liberated to understand the big picture. Once we consider Design Law, all other Bible stories and prophecies seem to fit perfectly. It is truly beautiful to see people grasping how God operates this Universe of Love and the liberation it has provided in their lives. It blows my mind to see how consistent Design law is with what our founders believed. I hear statements like “This makes so much sense.”

Tom W., Mt. Pleasant, MI, USA

 

Testimony 70

I have been watching you for many years and have learned to love God with all my heart. I was raised by a loving Christian mother that had been lied to about who God really was, so our religious upbringing was hell fire and damnation. As soon as I was old enough and moved out, I not only left the church, I ran as fast as I could to get away from it. Sad to say, it wasn’t until the past couple of years that I learned and understand who my Father really is and how much He loves me. I understand God’s Design Laws (which make sense) and when I’m teaching my church Bible study class, I’m able to really put to use the things I’ve been learning and Holy Spirit is leading. Thank you for introducing me to my Father of true, pure love. Everyday with Him is new and exciting. One thing that breaks my heart is that I didn’t know Him sooner. God Bless you and your ministry!

Judy Phelps, Reno, NV, USA

Testimony 57

You have helped make sense of thirty two years of confusion. The material you freely provide reorganized so much of my life into such a beautiful pattern that has always been hinted at from within, but misguided with my training and what I was experiencing externally. My filipno parents, who were converted from Catholicism to SDA, were sincere and did their best to raise me the right way and I have deep respect for them. However, being immigrants and not understanding the language made for a difficult transition as I was growing up, which also applied to my spiritual growth as I learned the patterns of religion. I have been listening to as many bible study classes and reading blog posts as my time in a work truck will allow, searching for the practical applications of where spirituality and reality meet, and I thank you for helping me find that. You have helped me reach a point in which I can truly say that I love God, that I believe He loves me, and, like David, I delight in His law. God bless.

Emmanuel V., Calgary, AB Canada

Testimony 35

I am so pleased with the response your message is receiving at my church from the middle-aged to the young adults. I have given out 100 copies of the first two seminars and there are more request every week. One of my [class members] came to me after viewing the series, grateful and impressed with how easy the message was retained. He had been a Seventh-day Adventist in fear all his life, and felt like the scales were removed from his eyes after viewing the seminars. I am so impressed by the change I see in members who have received this message, we are in one accord. However, I am sadden by the negative response of the older people. I am verbally attacked anytime I talk about imposed laws, but I believe my mission is to enlightened everyone I can. I watch your Bible Study Class on YouTube every Friday night and I feel like I am apart of the class. All of you are in one accord and I am so blessed to have found you. I pray that all of you continue to spread this message and I am committed to doing my part.

Clara S., Westfield, MA, USA