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Does God Choose Our Life Partner?

Does God Choose Our Life Partner?

Is it true that God has created one person for each of us? what if i miss out on him and marry someone else, what happens then?

how do I know that such and such person if the right one for me? I know that we should bring these matters to God in prayer, but how does He answer? Many at times I’ve found that guys like to marry ladies who look very good. They should have everything perfect. Not everyone is perfect, so does that mean some will not be able to ever marry? Does God decide who should and shouldn’t get married?


Second only to our decision to surrender our lives to God, is our decision of life partner. As I travel I find people of all ages struggling with the very questions you have asked, so thank you for sending them.

God has designed human beings for relationship. In Eden God looked upon Adam and said it was not good for Adam to be alone and God created a partner specifically for Adam. Eve was created as Adam’s helper to help Adam enter into greater depths of Godlike love by providing someone for Adam to serve. Eve was Adam’s “second self” a being of equal worth, value, intelligence, and to whom Adam was to pour himself upon in humble love and service. Eve was to receive Adam’s love and respond with equal love, service and giving of herself to uplift Adam. Thus God’s design for mankind was the perfect intercourse of other-centered love revealing the love of the Godhead.

God’s creation of Eve is the only inspired recording we have of God specifically creating a marriage partner for someone. This means that God does not create “one” specific person for every one of us. While God’s design for marriage has not changed, mankind has been changed by sin. Our hearts are not perfect and we suffer from many defects that sin has brought upon the race. This means we must be careful in our selection of a life partner.

Not all persons are well suited to spend their lives together, even if both are genuinely surrendered to God. Therefore, some persons will find greater joy, peace, contentment and usefulness in God’s cause as single persons. This is no sin, but a wise choice exercised by those who know themselves well.  Others however, function better with a healthy marriage relationship, and finding a compatible partner is critical.

Because God has not created “one” specific person for each of us we don’t need to worry about “missing out” on that “one special person.” In this world there are many individuals with whom we can form a long term, loving, healthy and compatible relationship. So, don’t live in fear of “missing” the “only one.”

Healthy relationships require healthy people. Therefore, the first step in pursuing a marriage partner is to ensure you are the most spiritually mature person you can be. Instead of praying, “God help me find the person you would have be my spouse,” pray, “God, help me become the person you would have me be, capable of loving my spouse as you have loved me.” Once you have honestly dealt with step one, then you are ready to move on to step two.

How to tell who is “right” to marry? Another way to say it, how can I know if a particular person is well suited to be my life partner? By examining the evidence of their qualifications to be your life partner. And this is the purpose of dating. Dating is not for the purpose of getting someone to like you. Dating is for the purpose of evaluating whether the other person is qualified to be your life partner.

Jesus said, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45).

What this means is that each of us reveal in our actions and deeds the true nature of our hearts. Therefore, the wise person in the dating process does not date based on how the other person makes them feel, but with their good judgment involved evaluating the quality of character revealed and the general compatibility of interests, values and future goals.

If you were in charge of hiring for your company, upon what would you base your hiring decisions? Would it not be on the qualifications of the applicants?

What is more important to your life, employees at your firm or your life partner? Upon what factors are you deciding who will be your life partner? Have you determined the qualifications necessary for someone to be your life partner? If not you are not ready to date or pursue marriage.

Step two is stepping back and making a list of qualifications a person MUST possess in order to be qualified as your life partner. This list is only composed of non-negotiable elements, items that you could not live without. For instance, in order to be qualified as your life partner a person must genuinely like you for who you are. If they don’t like you for who you are, but are trying to change you, then they are not qualified. Another qualification is that the person we marry MUST be attractive to us. No one will be happy in a marriage with someone they don’t find attractive, but physical attraction alone is not enough to qualify someone for life partnership.

So, prayerfully prepare yourself to be the healthiest person you can be to love your future spouse, then make a list of qualifications a person must possess in order to be your life partner. Finally, with this list in mind begin the dating process, observe the person you are dating, allow them to reveal their true self over time, prayerfully reflect upon the evidence they reveal, gather input from the observations of trusted family and friends and then you, not God, must choose who you will marry.

In the process always keep your heart humble before God, asking Him to enlighten your mind to see the evidence and true qualities of the person you are dating, and then choose to act based upon those facts.

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I am from Central America. Most of my family is scattered in different parts of the world and all have the same view of God that I had growing up; a distant, exacting, and ready-to-punish-us-with-tragedy type of God. So, I have been translating lessons for my family and, to my surprise, they have also been sharing them with others! I can already see the difference. My brother has often said, “Thank you for sharing, I have never heard it this way!” My other family members are taking an amazing turn from a message of “repent or burn” towards a loving God, pleading to us that we won’t reject him because he loves us eternally.

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I am absolutly on fire with the message at Come and Reason! I can’t get enough! I’ve read your book, blog, and articles. I’ve listened to your Bible study podcasts, your radio show, and your series – all excellent! It wasn’t until the past couple of years that I have I like I’m becoming “healthy,” with more to share with others than just beasts and commandments! I used to be a Bible worker and preached when the pastors were gone until I had had enough. I didnt realize at the time what the problem was, but i know now… the message wasn’t properly focused. Now my flame is rekindled. All of your little examples are so perfect in explaining something “complicated” and making it easily understood! Now I’m trying to shape it into a life changing evangelistic series! Thank you!

M.T., USA

 

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The Healing the Mind DVD set tarted me on a journey that has changed my relationship with our loving God more significantly than any other study, and brought me to your book and Bible study podcasts, which I now listen to daily, thanks to the availability of archived content on your site and on iTunes.

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J.B. ,Dalles, OR, USA

 

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Over the past couple of years God has been expanding my view of Himself and His character. Along my approximately 40-year journey, I have often had questions, but was hesitant to voice these and step outside the traditionally accepted thinking, for fear of admitting that I may in fact be eternally lost. In the recesses of my thinking has been the thought – if one blindly accepts (which is widely regarded as “real faith”) and does not question, is this really ‘truth?’ I often find it challenging to grapple with very theological ‘speak,’ but Dr. Jennings has a real gift of explaining spiritual concepts with clear practical examples. The weekly discussions are growing my Christian experience and slowly changing my view of how to live as a child of God in today’s complex world. Finally the whole Old Testament sanctuary teaching moved in my mind from fantasy to reality!

Beverly S., South Africa

 

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I wanted to thank you very much for presenting your understanding of God. I’ve always been troubled by this question: Why did Jesus have to die? Since my conversion I understood that The Father & Jesus are one, I did not have issues with that. But was there not any other way to save us than for Jesus to die? I guess I actually had a question about God – if He is so wise, how come He did not find another way? I did not see the real ‘beauty’  in the cross. Only when you explained the picture in the medical context, Jesus providing medicine for my selfishness, have I started to finally ‘see the light’. Thank you so much. Your seminar, “Healing the Mind,” are absolutely marvelous & have shared them with my family and many other people, including colleagues at work. Thanks, thanks, thanks. May God bless you abundantly in your ministry.

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I was born [into the church], then I left it for many years. 10 years ago, I came back, but I could not take the hypocrisy and the lack of answers to the missing pieces. I struggled, but I did not abandon my commitment to know the truth. God is leading me to the simple understanding of his relevance and I am relearning what the church taught me as a youth… that he loves me, that he has led me to a knowledge of him such as I have never known. He is using Dr. Jennings to connect the dots that are now so apparent and hiding in plain sight!

Dean P., Arlington, TX, USA

 

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I personally download and listen to each of Come And Reason Ministries Bible study class lessons and PDF study notes to use when teaching my class. Really appreciate the class especially when Dr. Jennings is teaching. Thank God there are persons like him doing His work and traveling to share His beliefs.

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I just wanted to personally thank you for your teachings and insight into scripture. I came across your website via my cousin who suggested I look into “Healing the Mind” information. My youngest daughter has been struggling over the last couple of years and it all came to a head this spring. When I started listening to the “Healing the Mind” lectures my own life began to be transformed. I began sharing with all my daughters the concepts you laid out so clearly. I ordered your book and soaked it up. I just want to say “Thank You!” My walk with the Lord has been refreshed and renewed. Your obedience to the Lord is a blessing to so many.

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Thank you for the ministry you are sharing with us, it is a real blessing to us and especially to my husband and myself! You are encouraging us to think for ourselves and not just to except everything, without thinking it through, with God’s word!

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Testimony 64

I’ve been reading the bible and walking with Jesus since I was around 16. I’m 42 now. I’ve mostly been alone in my walk although I went to several churches in different denominations. For the past 3 years God has been showing me His character of agape. It’s been a blessing and changed how I view God and my walk with Jesus. About a year ago I came across the power of love and the principles of design law. These teachings changed how I read scripture and have been such a beautiful blessing. I’m very excited and grateful for these truths. We share these truths of agape, design law and the reality of the principles of the two trees in the garden of Eden with people on Facebook and YouTube. People all over are learning to trust God and His agape design law which makes life possible. Thank you for everything you shared with me. May God continue to bless your ministry and lives.

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Testimony 60

Just watched watched lesson 10 in the 1st quarter 2021 bible study classs on Isaiah. I want to thank you for your intellectual spirituality; it’s not an oxymoron! From the point of view of a teacher I also enjoy seeing how much personal pleasure you clearly take in not just tasting, but feasting on God’s word – it reminds me of Jeremiah not being able to hold it in! It makes me smile that your cup is so full and overflowing that you make it to Tuesday’s lesson (on a good day). It just goes to show the richness of God’s Word.

God bless the Come and Reason Team from our church here in Great Britain.

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Testimony 76

Warm greetings from Tanzania! I just wanted to take a moment to thank you and your team at Come And Reason Ministries for the amazing work you do. Your teachings have opened my eyes to deep biblical truths and how to live them out in real life. I started following the ministry back in 2018, and ever since, my walk with God has grown so much stronger. I’ve found freedom from fear-based faith and now live with more peace and trust in Him. I’ve also been sharing what I’ve learned, especially through Bible School discussions. Your lessons are so insightful and well-explained that I try not to miss a single one. May God continue to bless the work you’re doing.
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