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Dealing with Bad Decisions

Dealing with Bad Decisions

We have all made bad decisions – the difference between mature, godly people and immature and/or ungodly people is not that the mature never make bad decisions and the immature and/or worldly never make good decisions.

The difference is that the mature will take responsibility for their bad decisions; will evaluate their choices; will identify what are unhealthy, destructive, decisions; and will learn from their mistakes, updating their decision-making so that they reduce and/or stop making the same bad decisions over and over again.

Further, the mature, having taken ownership of self, once having identified a choice that was unhealthy or harmful or wrong, will not only learn from it, but they will also seek to repair any damage their choice may have caused themselves and others – as far as possible and without making things worse.

The immature and worldly don’t do this. When they make bad decisions, they deny their responsibility, avoid looking at their role, make excuses, and often blame others. They quickly move on to some new activity to occupy their mind and distract themselves from thinking about their bad choices. Thus, they don’t learn – and they repeat the same bad decisions over and over again.

The reason for this pattern of unhealthy decision-making is often an inability to tolerate the emotional discomfort, embarrassment, hurt, rejection, guilt, or other negative experience that accompanies dealing with painful truth.

When we make a bad choice, the results can be emotionally, financially, relationally, or occupationally painful. Rather than immediately dealing with their choices to bring healing and repair damage as quickly as possible, some people instead run from the pain, the discomfort, and deny, distort, blame, make excuses, or distract themselves from the truth with entertainment or mood-altering substances. This typically leads to more damaging consequences and further immature decision-making; thus, they perpetuate the problem.

The underlying root to this destructive cycle is fear – fear of rejection, punishment, loss of status, position, wealth, esteem, or some other consequence. So the immature and worldly, rather than humbling themselves, acknowledging their own shortcomings, taking ownership, seeking to mature – and, thus, experience transformation – instead either don’t learn, or worse, they justify the bad decision-making as good decision-making and repeat it.

We can never avoid the truth; we can only delay the day we deal with it.

The mature have learned this; they have become lovers of the truth and seek to grow in truth at the earliest possible moment, as soon as they are capable. The mature choose to stand their ground and face the reality of their choices and learn from them.

One of the truths that the mature have learned to embrace is that they are not infallible and, thus, are subject to mistakes. They have not accepted a falsehood that perfection is about performance; instead, they know that perfection is about maturity. So they have formed characters with a view of self that accepts that they don’t know everything, that even when doing their best, they can make decisions that turn out not the be best. But they know that they are able and willing to learn, to assimilate new insights, to grow, to develop, to advance and, thus, their individuality is not built upon perfect performance, but a willingness to grow and mature as new truths are revealed and comprehended.

Such a person is a lover of truth and realizes that truth is unfolding, and so their hearts love new insights and eagerly seek to grow in the truth. They don’t fear to discover new ways of doing things or understanding things; in fact, they are excited about it.

So here are some general guidelines to help you grow toward healthy decision-making:

  • Use your God-given reasoning ability united with a clear conscience.
  • Always be prayerful, surrendering your life to God and asking the Spirit of truth to enlighten you, giving you wisdom and discernment in your decision-making. Ask God for evidences as to what course is within His will. Be patient, study, reflect, and reason things out.
  • Ask for input from wise and mature counselors – but do not surrender your decision-making to others. You must filter their input through your own judgment – every person must be fully persuaded in their own mind (Romans 14:5).
    • This is one of the problems for many in bad decision-making – they fear making a mistake and, thus, they seek some other mind, some authority – pastor, doctor, parent, or friend – to tell them the answer, to tell them what to do. This relieves them of the burden of decision-making and allows them to blame the other party when it doesn’t work out. But such people never mature and live in fear and doubt.
  • Understand God’s design laws. Failure to understand the basic laws upon which reality works leads to bad decisions even with good motives. The doctors who bled and leached George Washington when he had pneumonia sought to heal, but they didn’t understand basic laws of health and made bad decisions even though their motive was seeking to save.
  • Ask what is right (morally first, legally second), healthy, and reasonable and make decisions that are right, healthy, and reasonable.
  • Allow feelings to be information that you evaluate, but don’t make decisions based solely on them. Require your feelings to be processed through your good judgment, examining the evidences and principles involved.
  • Feelings of discomfort about a decision should be given more weight than positive feelings about it. In other words, allow feelings of discomfort to cause you to pause, reflect, consider, and evaluate so that you avoid an impulsive decision. Use your wisdom to temper feelings of eagerness.
  • In the aftermath of a choice, be open to new information and reassessment and making a new choice, even reversing course, if the new information supports that a new course of action is healthier.
  • When you realize that you have made a bad choice, own it, learn from it, examine where the decision-making process needs to be improved, bring to bear new methods, and seek to repair any damage previous bad decision-making has caused – being sure not to make matters worse.
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Testimony 28

I have been following your Bible study class for about a year now. I must say I am impressed with how your ministry has grown. I took it upon myself to listen to all your lesson podcasts from the past and they have both enriched me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have learnt a lot from this class. I have also noticed how the class has grown in spiritual strength. One of the things that benefited me is that now I am not afraid of God. I use to be, but now it has melted away. The second thing is that you helped me to have a real life relationship with God. Now He is my friend that was always there and I love having him with me all the time. Thirdly, because of this class, it inspired me to take over and lead a class. I have called it “Let Us Reason Together,” adapting your inquisitive style and creating a class of free thinkers.

T. Banda, Malawi, Africa

 

Testimony 63

I’ve been very blessed by “The God Shaped Brain” and this ministry, through video and podcast, over the last few years. It’s truly opened up my eyes more to the truth about God and the importance of that truth in the present world. The message is so inviting, freeing and enlightening and MORE people need to know about it. I believe it is the last message that can truly, not only prepare a people for salvation and translation, but vindicate the character of God.

Michael V., Yonkers, NY, USA

 

Testimony 42

I am just writing to say that I have been so blessed by the teachings of Come And Reason Minitries recently. I watched last week’s bible study lesson on Youtube and am thankful that the error in the printed lesson guide you use was pointed out and this week’s study was of equal benefit, if not more so. My understanding of God’s nature has been very confused of late and I am so grateful for clarity in this matter. I have never really fully understood previously how a good God can cause bad things to happen and now I realise that He doesn’t, it’s a natural consequence of sin. May the almighty Father and His Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, continue to bless your ministry.

Laura P., United Kingdom

 

Testimony 17

The blessings of clarity and understanding you and your class inspire me to take from the word of God have impressed upon me so greatly the true, loving character of our Creator. I have found amazing freedom and joy through building a stronger, more intentional relationship with Him. What is new is that this is now a relationship built on love, reverence and respect rather than fear and obligation, and as such my eyes have been slammed OPEN as I am continually impressed by the manifestations of God’s true character in His provisions for fallen man.

T.E.H., Salt Lake City, UT, USA

 

Testimony 40

I was brought up in a different faith and have been petrified my whole life of God. I believed that I would burn in hell for eternity. When I was 12 I started pursuing the things of this world, but for the next 45 years the Spirit was always calling me, as I knew there was a God through nature. I could see the vast sea of stars in the universe and knew there was something bigger out there. Five years ago, through a Revelation seminar, I was blessed to learn about God’s character and government.

Then I found Come and Reason Ministries and have come under some extreme pressure when I speak about the ministry. One time a member sent me an internet article titled “Whats wrong with Tim Jennings?” I asked her what she thought of it and she said “I don’t know, I didn’t read it.”

I have always wanted to find out for myself the truth about God, so I stayed with the Design Law construct and have been liberated to understand the big picture. Once we consider Design Law, all other Bible stories and prophecies seem to fit perfectly. It is truly beautiful to see people grasping how God operates this Universe of Love and the liberation it has provided in their lives. It blows my mind to see how consistent Design law is with what our founders believed. I hear statements like “This makes so much sense.”

Tom W., Mt. Pleasant, MI, USA

 

Testimony 64

I’ve been reading the bible and walking with Jesus since I was around 16. I’m 42 now. I’ve mostly been alone in my walk although I went to several churches in different denominations. For the past 3 years God has been showing me His character of agape. It’s been a blessing and changed how I view God and my walk with Jesus. About a year ago I came across the power of love and the principles of design law. These teachings changed how I read scripture and have been such a beautiful blessing. I’m very excited and grateful for these truths. We share these truths of agape, design law and the reality of the principles of the two trees in the garden of Eden with people on Facebook and YouTube. People all over are learning to trust God and His agape design law which makes life possible. Thank you for everything you shared with me. May God continue to bless your ministry and lives.

Bradley M., Hinsdale, NY, USA

 

Testimony 45

I have been confused for years about what [christianity] calls [its] most disgusting teaching. It has never made much sense to me and for that reason has been evermore empty. I have listened to your class off and on and have struggled determining what is truth, because of the resistance design law encounters in the church. So, I thank God for your ministry. What you teach makes sense. It’s logical and backed up by the power of love. I have never seen that in Christ until now. I am astounded by the insight that is found when we look at God’s ministry through design law. All strength to this message, as I believe it to be the power of God.

Brendon S.

 

Testimony 44

We were given a gift of the DVD set, “God and Your Brain,” and we just finished watching it. The truths in this are so powerful and truly an answer to a prayer. We’re seeing hope where once we thought God wasn’t answering our prayers to be free of certain mindsets. He answered with these DVDs and we are hungry for more. Thank you!

Daniel T., Easley, SC, USA

 

Testimony 61

I grew up in a prominent protestant church and had what I like to call religious anxiety. I’ve always had questions about God and Salvation that no one could seem to answer.  I didn’t know how to find resolution. During 2020, at the height of my anxiety, I fell to my knees and begged God to show me truth and light and to give me the hope that I’ve been longing for. Days later, I stumbled upon your online videos and it was like a veil was lifted and EVERYTHING made sense! For the first time in my almost 39 years of life, my religious/spiritual anxiety has lessened. I feel a sense of freedom and peace I’ve NEVER had before… and it’s all because my view of God has changed. Thank you!

Ashleighn C.

 

Testimony 46

Over the past couple of years God has been expanding my view of Himself and His character. Along my approximately 40-year journey, I have often had questions, but was hesitant to voice these and step outside the traditionally accepted thinking, for fear of admitting that I may in fact be eternally lost. In the recesses of my thinking has been the thought – if one blindly accepts (which is widely regarded as “real faith”) and does not question, is this really ‘truth?’ I often find it challenging to grapple with very theological ‘speak,’ but Dr. Jennings has a real gift of explaining spiritual concepts with clear practical examples. The weekly discussions are growing my Christian experience and slowly changing my view of how to live as a child of God in today’s complex world. Finally the whole Old Testament sanctuary teaching moved in my mind from fantasy to reality!

Beverly S., South Africa

 

Testimony 50

After coming into contact with Come And Reason Ministries, I can finally say that many of my unanswered questions have fallen into place. I discovered that my view of God’s Law was “imposed laws and rules” with “imposed punishments” and that this was the major culprit of my many unanswered questions. Thanks be to God for using you and those around you to help us who have struggled with this “infection” of thought. I have now rejected the “imposed law” concept to fully embrace “Design Law”… to look thru “Design Law,” instead of “imposed law,” is a relief.

Viliami L., Australia

 

Testimony 20

I just wanted to personally thank you for your teachings and insight into scripture. I came across your website via my cousin who suggested I look into “Healing the Mind” information. My youngest daughter has been struggling over the last couple of years and it all came to a head this spring. When I started listening to the “Healing the Mind” lectures my own life began to be transformed. I began sharing with all my daughters the concepts you laid out so clearly. I ordered your book and soaked it up. I just want to say “Thank You!” My walk with the Lord has been refreshed and renewed. Your obedience to the Lord is a blessing to so many.

R. K., Anderson, SC, USA

 

Testimony 3

My husband is a pastor and I listen to your lesson almost every week. Thank you for helping me in my study life and to help me love the “real” God more.

C. F., NC, USA

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa

 

Testimony 38

Since November 2015, when I started studying Gods word from this God Is Love point of view, my life has been transformed. My troubled marriage of 15 years has been healed and my husband and I are truly happy for the first time in 15 years. Now When I read the word of God I understand it so much better and I can’t help but see Gods love radiating through the pages to humanity. Gods word is living and active and I am blessed beyond measure to be having this amazing experience. God has given me a beautiful understanding of Jn 3:16 that amazes me more and more each day. Thank you again for your ministry.

Helen D., London, England