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Confessing Faults and Sins

Confessing Faults and Sins

You presented a really moving and challenging set of seminars at Midport SDA. I had a couple of questions that arose out of your first presentation on Guilt. Unfortunately, we ran out of time and you could not take any more questions. I would really appreciate it if you could respond here.


I got this quote from your website, and it relates to my questions, but I’m trying to wrap my mind around it: “The only solution to legitimate guilt is repentance and restoration. This includes more than simple confession. It includes an internal change of heart desire where one no longer even wants to do such behavior again, and restoration only when such reparation would add no further harm.”

My questions are

  1. When is it inappropriate to confess guilt to humans? (For instance, I have seen where spouses admitted to having affairs, and this only complicated the situation, resulting in more hurt, anger, and divorce. Some clinicians recommend confessing while others don’t.)
  2. What is the difference between confessing “faults” and “sins” to humans?

Thank you for your time. And yes, my understanding of God’s character has been strengthened. I want to be reunited once more with the One who loves me beyond all others.


After Adam and Eve sinned they ran and hid because they were “afraid.” Fear is part of the infection of sin. We are all born defective, wired with insecurity, fear, doubt, as well as physical and genetic defects. Because of this we all have various faults and sins. These lead us to “fear” no one could ever love us if they “really” knew us. We create walls and masks to hide behind, which only increases our fear of being discovered and found out for who we really are in heart, thus increasing the fear and intensity in which we try to hide our true selves from others. This is a vicious reinforcing cycle. Think of how comfortable you would be discussing your addiction with most of your church members. Would you not fear their shock and disappointment rather than expect their love and support.

Confessing faults to one another is part of the healing process of acknowledging our brokenness, weakness, need for a savior, and then experiencing the loving acceptance of others. It is the process honestly acknowledging your faults and then experience genuine love and acceptance that healing occurs. This is one of the key elements in 12 step recovery groups. Fear of rejection is reduced and we are able to love others in a healthier way and in so doing fear is reduced and we are healed in the process. This is part of God’s plan to break down walls of prejudice and bias as we come back into the unity of love in the knowledge of God. Faults include our sinful nature, fears, inabilities, mistakes, habits, regrets and sometimes specific sins are included. But not all specific sin is included – some specific sin is between the individual and God.

There are generally three types of sin – public, individual to individual, and private. Public sin requires public confession in addition to repentance of heart, which is a gift from God, and restoration if possible. Sin against an individual requires we go to the individual and confess/repent, ask forgiveness and restore as far as possible what was taken. Private sin, which is not only sin within the heart, but also sin which has remained private from the one offended, requires confession to God, repentance but not necessarily making such sin public or confessing to another person, even if the another was wronged. It should also include restoring anything taken, if possible, if it can be done without adding harm or injuring.

The example you gave is a perfect illustration of this. A man/woman cheats on their spouse, after the event there is conviction of wrong, with subsequent confession to God, repentance of heart, and perhaps asking the person they cheated with to forgive them. Then years pass with ongoing loyalty and faithfulness to their spouse. What would happen to the innocent spouse if this sin were subsequently confessed to them? It would injure the innocent spouse. The spouse who was wronged, but doesn’t know it, when they find out will have anger, fear, insecurity, doubt, and will have to struggle with resentment and forgiveness issues. A seed of bitterness and hurt will be planted into the heart of the innocent spouse by the confession of the guilty spouse. This does no good and causes positive further injury, risking not only the integrity of the marriage, but the spiritual health of the innocent spouse and perhaps injuring their children and other family members.

Therefore, IF, and I emphasize IF, the sin is historic, the heart of the sinner is repentant and changed through God’s grace so that the cheat is no longer a cheat, then the confession to the unaware injured party would do harm and therefore, should not be done. However, IF the heart of the one who cheated has not changed and they remain a cheat then the innocent spouse needs to know so they can make love based decisions upon that information. Such decisions would include confronting the spouse who cheated, in love, seeking their repentance and restoration in grace, and if the spouse refuses to repent and become faithful then to leave the marriage lest by staying they endorse the unhealthy and destructive behavior of the cheating spouse.

Ultimately, though, the principle here is love – when we love others we seek to bless them and not cause injury. When we remain self-focused and adhere to a rule oriented belief system, then we feel compelled to “confess” such sin in order to “ensure” our “record” is clear in heaven and we can be saved, regardless of the injury to others. Such religion is selfishness disguised as righteousness and only spreads damage and doesn’t heal either the offender or offended.

When we put love first, we quickly realize that we cannot prescribe a cookie cutter behavior that fits every situation, but understand some situations will be best served by a confession, whereas others are best served by remaining silent, for we are interested not in self, but in loving others more than self.

One of the founders of my church put it this way:

The apostle says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.” James 5:16. Confess your sins to God, who only can forgive them, and your faults to one another. If you have given offense to your friend or neighbor, you are to acknowledge your wrong, and it is his duty freely to forgive you. Then you are to seek the forgiveness of God, because the brother you have wounded is the property of God, and in injuring him you have sinned against his Creator…

True confession is always of a specific character, and acknowledges particular sins. They may be of such a nature as to be brought before God only; they may be wrongs that should be confessed to individuals who have suffered injury through them; or they may be of a public character, and should then be as publicly confessed. But all confession should be definite and to the point, acknowledging the very sins of which you are guilty.

Many, many confessions should never be spoken in the hearing of mortals; for the result is that which the limited judgment of finite beings does not anticipate… God will be better glorified if we confess the secret, inbred corruption of the heart to Jesus alone than if we open its recesses to finite, erring man, who cannot judge righteously unless his heart is constantly imbued with the Spirit of God… Do not pour into human ears the story which God alone should hear. — Faith I Live By, pg. 128

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It was very touching to hear the testimony of your class share how viewing God’s true character has changed their lives. My feelings are the same – there is so much freedom in knowing that God LOVES me – regardless of my… just, REGARDLESS! I’m still blown away by the true gospel, the fact that God is not ready to strike us when we fail. He is not arbitrary. He simply loves us and warns of the natural consequences because He can’t stand to see us suffer. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD!!!

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I am from Central America. Most of my family is scattered in different parts of the world and all have the same view of God that I had growing up; a distant, exacting, and ready-to-punish-us-with-tragedy type of God. So, I have been translating lessons for my family and, to my surprise, they have also been sharing them with others! I can already see the difference. My brother has often said, “Thank you for sharing, I have never heard it this way!” My other family members are taking an amazing turn from a message of “repent or burn” towards a loving God, pleading to us that we won’t reject him because he loves us eternally.

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Sofia S., Ashfield, MA, USA

 

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Your unique way in spreading the truth is what we all need today. Most of us don’t recognize the contamination coming from all the lies and selfishness in the world. Because of our fear of death, we forgot how to live. Lies left and right. I was losing hope and faith, because of so many ideas that are always contradicting each other – so many questions answered by other, more complicated, questions – until I found your channel on YouTube.

You did not just give me answers, you also taught me how to answer new questions that arise in my mind. Now I see things differently. I see God’s mercy, grace, and Love everywhere, in spite of all the chaos that we all have done as humans. I don’t fear death anymore. Accepting the Truth and Love about God is truly a genuine Freedom from all the confusions, sufferings, selfishness, pain, and death.

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Wheinny P., University Place, WA, USA

 

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Testimony 30

God lead me to your book “The God-Shaped Brain” while I was searching for another book about the brain and then to your interview about your book on HeartWise Ministries [where] I found out about [Come And Reason Ministries]. I’m now devouring the webcasts of your Bible studies. I have been so greatly blessed and I thank God so much for your courage to speak the Truth in love no matter what. Listening to you contrast the two opposing systems (laws) and digging deep to unearth the hidden treasures in the Bible makes me so incredibly happy and I feel very blessed to be part of your Bible Study Group although I live far away. I am just so excited that there is a group of people that is spreading the Truth about the character of God and it saddens me how few realize what our Father in Heaven is really like.

Kessy B., Australia

 

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Nancy S.

 

Testimony 34

I was introduced to Come and Reason Ministries by accident, via a passing comment made in a bible study class we were visiting. I checked this website out and my life was changed. The understanding of the truth of God’s character, and how we apply it, is so right. The tricky part is consistently applying which “lens” to look through. As I began to understand, I started sharing the basics of this understanding with a discussion group I was leading and, suddenly, a lot of things started to make sense that never used to. At the same time, I enjoyed an amazing opportunity. I was able to conduct a full bible study at WORK! What an amazing experience! It is such a joy to share the truth about God and to share how it all fits in the war between God and Satan. So many people benefit when we have a correct understanding about how God works and who He really is! Thank you for this transformational understanding. Keep up the good work! God Bless you!

Tony P., CA, USA

 

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R. N., MT, USA

 

Testimony 33

I was invited over a friend’s house to see the “God and Your Brain” seminar today. I became [a christian] 36 years ago at the age of 19, but have struggled with the concept of God taking His ‘pound of flesh’ out on His Son to be appeased. Wow. Your seminar has been an incredible revelation and breath of reason and fresh air! I have your book, “The God Shaped Brain,” and it is SO eye opening. Finally, after 36 years enlightenment has come! Praise the Good Lord! What can I say, but that the Real Gospel is truly “Good News!” Thank you for your efforts in giving the Gospel a clear sound!

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Testimony 35

I am so pleased with the response your message is receiving at my church from the middle-aged to the young adults. I have given out 100 copies of the first two seminars and there are more request every week. One of my [class members] came to me after viewing the series, grateful and impressed with how easy the message was retained. He had been a Seventh-day Adventist in fear all his life, and felt like the scales were removed from his eyes after viewing the seminars. I am so impressed by the change I see in members who have received this message, we are in one accord. However, I am sadden by the negative response of the older people. I am verbally attacked anytime I talk about imposed laws, but I believe my mission is to enlightened everyone I can. I watch your Bible Study Class on YouTube every Friday night and I feel like I am apart of the class. All of you are in one accord and I am so blessed to have found you. I pray that all of you continue to spread this message and I am committed to doing my part.

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Just watched watched lesson 10 in the 1st quarter 2021 bible study classs on Isaiah. I want to thank you for your intellectual spirituality; it’s not an oxymoron! From the point of view of a teacher I also enjoy seeing how much personal pleasure you clearly take in not just tasting, but feasting on God’s word – it reminds me of Jeremiah not being able to hold it in! It makes me smile that your cup is so full and overflowing that you make it to Tuesday’s lesson (on a good day). It just goes to show the richness of God’s Word.

God bless the Come and Reason Team from our church here in Great Britain.

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Testimony 64

I’ve been reading the bible and walking with Jesus since I was around 16. I’m 42 now. I’ve mostly been alone in my walk although I went to several churches in different denominations. For the past 3 years God has been showing me His character of agape. It’s been a blessing and changed how I view God and my walk with Jesus. About a year ago I came across the power of love and the principles of design law. These teachings changed how I read scripture and have been such a beautiful blessing. I’m very excited and grateful for these truths. We share these truths of agape, design law and the reality of the principles of the two trees in the garden of Eden with people on Facebook and YouTube. People all over are learning to trust God and His agape design law which makes life possible. Thank you for everything you shared with me. May God continue to bless your ministry and lives.

Bradley M., Hinsdale, NY, USA