Call Us: 423 661-4734 | Email: requests@comeandreason.com      
Confessing Faults and Sins

Confessing Faults and Sins

You presented a really moving and challenging set of seminars at Midport SDA. I had a couple of questions that arose out of your first presentation on Guilt. Unfortunately, we ran out of time and you could not take any more questions. I would really appreciate it if you could respond here.


I got this quote from your website, and it relates to my questions, but I’m trying to wrap my mind around it: “The only solution to legitimate guilt is repentance and restoration. This includes more than simple confession. It includes an internal change of heart desire where one no longer even wants to do such behavior again, and restoration only when such reparation would add no further harm.”

My questions are

  1. When is it inappropriate to confess guilt to humans? (For instance, I have seen where spouses admitted to having affairs, and this only complicated the situation, resulting in more hurt, anger, and divorce. Some clinicians recommend confessing while others don’t.)
  2. What is the difference between confessing “faults” and “sins” to humans?

Thank you for your time. And yes, my understanding of God’s character has been strengthened. I want to be reunited once more with the One who loves me beyond all others.


After Adam and Eve sinned they ran and hid because they were “afraid.” Fear is part of the infection of sin. We are all born defective, wired with insecurity, fear, doubt, as well as physical and genetic defects. Because of this we all have various faults and sins. These lead us to “fear” no one could ever love us if they “really” knew us. We create walls and masks to hide behind, which only increases our fear of being discovered and found out for who we really are in heart, thus increasing the fear and intensity in which we try to hide our true selves from others. This is a vicious reinforcing cycle. Think of how comfortable you would be discussing your addiction with most of your church members. Would you not fear their shock and disappointment rather than expect their love and support.

Confessing faults to one another is part of the healing process of acknowledging our brokenness, weakness, need for a savior, and then experiencing the loving acceptance of others. It is the process honestly acknowledging your faults and then experience genuine love and acceptance that healing occurs. This is one of the key elements in 12 step recovery groups. Fear of rejection is reduced and we are able to love others in a healthier way and in so doing fear is reduced and we are healed in the process. This is part of God’s plan to break down walls of prejudice and bias as we come back into the unity of love in the knowledge of God. Faults include our sinful nature, fears, inabilities, mistakes, habits, regrets and sometimes specific sins are included. But not all specific sin is included – some specific sin is between the individual and God.

There are generally three types of sin – public, individual to individual, and private. Public sin requires public confession in addition to repentance of heart, which is a gift from God, and restoration if possible. Sin against an individual requires we go to the individual and confess/repent, ask forgiveness and restore as far as possible what was taken. Private sin, which is not only sin within the heart, but also sin which has remained private from the one offended, requires confession to God, repentance but not necessarily making such sin public or confessing to another person, even if the another was wronged. It should also include restoring anything taken, if possible, if it can be done without adding harm or injuring.

The example you gave is a perfect illustration of this. A man/woman cheats on their spouse, after the event there is conviction of wrong, with subsequent confession to God, repentance of heart, and perhaps asking the person they cheated with to forgive them. Then years pass with ongoing loyalty and faithfulness to their spouse. What would happen to the innocent spouse if this sin were subsequently confessed to them? It would injure the innocent spouse. The spouse who was wronged, but doesn’t know it, when they find out will have anger, fear, insecurity, doubt, and will have to struggle with resentment and forgiveness issues. A seed of bitterness and hurt will be planted into the heart of the innocent spouse by the confession of the guilty spouse. This does no good and causes positive further injury, risking not only the integrity of the marriage, but the spiritual health of the innocent spouse and perhaps injuring their children and other family members.

Therefore, IF, and I emphasize IF, the sin is historic, the heart of the sinner is repentant and changed through God’s grace so that the cheat is no longer a cheat, then the confession to the unaware injured party would do harm and therefore, should not be done. However, IF the heart of the one who cheated has not changed and they remain a cheat then the innocent spouse needs to know so they can make love based decisions upon that information. Such decisions would include confronting the spouse who cheated, in love, seeking their repentance and restoration in grace, and if the spouse refuses to repent and become faithful then to leave the marriage lest by staying they endorse the unhealthy and destructive behavior of the cheating spouse.

Ultimately, though, the principle here is love – when we love others we seek to bless them and not cause injury. When we remain self-focused and adhere to a rule oriented belief system, then we feel compelled to “confess” such sin in order to “ensure” our “record” is clear in heaven and we can be saved, regardless of the injury to others. Such religion is selfishness disguised as righteousness and only spreads damage and doesn’t heal either the offender or offended.

When we put love first, we quickly realize that we cannot prescribe a cookie cutter behavior that fits every situation, but understand some situations will be best served by a confession, whereas others are best served by remaining silent, for we are interested not in self, but in loving others more than self.

One of the founders of my church put it this way:

The apostle says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.” James 5:16. Confess your sins to God, who only can forgive them, and your faults to one another. If you have given offense to your friend or neighbor, you are to acknowledge your wrong, and it is his duty freely to forgive you. Then you are to seek the forgiveness of God, because the brother you have wounded is the property of God, and in injuring him you have sinned against his Creator…

True confession is always of a specific character, and acknowledges particular sins. They may be of such a nature as to be brought before God only; they may be wrongs that should be confessed to individuals who have suffered injury through them; or they may be of a public character, and should then be as publicly confessed. But all confession should be definite and to the point, acknowledging the very sins of which you are guilty.

Many, many confessions should never be spoken in the hearing of mortals; for the result is that which the limited judgment of finite beings does not anticipate… God will be better glorified if we confess the secret, inbred corruption of the heart to Jesus alone than if we open its recesses to finite, erring man, who cannot judge righteously unless his heart is constantly imbued with the Spirit of God… Do not pour into human ears the story which God alone should hear. — Faith I Live By, pg. 128

Email me the blog whenever a new one is published.

Donate online, securely via PayPal using your credit or debit card (no PayPal account needed, unless you want to set up a monthly, recurring payment).


cancel recurring payment

 

Want to use zelle instead?
See how on our
Support and Donations page.

Upcoming Events

calendar

Testimonial Post Slider

Testimony 58

I have been watching your videos in The Power of Love seminar and I must say these have liberated me and have improved my relationship with the Lord. I am no longer terrified of him as I was before following your teachings.

Thando N., South Africa

 

Testimony 45

I have been confused for years about what [christianity] calls [its] most disgusting teaching. It has never made much sense to me and for that reason has been evermore empty. I have listened to your class off and on and have struggled determining what is truth, because of the resistance design law encounters in the church. So, I thank God for your ministry. What you teach makes sense. It’s logical and backed up by the power of love. I have never seen that in Christ until now. I am astounded by the insight that is found when we look at God’s ministry through design law. All strength to this message, as I believe it to be the power of God.

Brendon S.

 

Testimony 61

I grew up in a prominent protestant church and had what I like to call religious anxiety. I’ve always had questions about God and Salvation that no one could seem to answer.  I didn’t know how to find resolution. During 2020, at the height of my anxiety, I fell to my knees and begged God to show me truth and light and to give me the hope that I’ve been longing for. Days later, I stumbled upon your online videos and it was like a veil was lifted and EVERYTHING made sense! For the first time in my almost 39 years of life, my religious/spiritual anxiety has lessened. I feel a sense of freedom and peace I’ve NEVER had before… and it’s all because my view of God has changed. Thank you!

Ashleighn C.

 

Testimony 4

I’m a youth leader in South Africa. We as a youth group are currently using a lot of the material on the Come and Reason site. Since we’ve started using the material, our youth group has grown.

R. V. N., South Africa

 

Testimony 55

I was born [into the church], then I left it for many years. 10 years ago, I came back, but I could not take the hypocrisy and the lack of answers to the missing pieces. I struggled, but I did not abandon my commitment to know the truth. God is leading me to the simple understanding of his relevance and I am relearning what the church taught me as a youth… that he loves me, that he has led me to a knowledge of him such as I have never known. He is using Dr. Jennings to connect the dots that are now so apparent and hiding in plain sight!

Dean P., Arlington, TX, USA

 

Testimony 50

After coming into contact with Come And Reason Ministries, I can finally say that many of my unanswered questions have fallen into place. I discovered that my view of God’s Law was “imposed laws and rules” with “imposed punishments” and that this was the major culprit of my many unanswered questions. Thanks be to God for using you and those around you to help us who have struggled with this “infection” of thought. I have now rejected the “imposed law” concept to fully embrace “Design Law”… to look thru “Design Law,” instead of “imposed law,” is a relief.

Viliami L., Australia

 

Testimony 56

I cannot thank you enough for opening my understanding to the beautiful truth of God’s Law of Love and how it applies to everything. I have been a Christian for over forty years, but I feel like I am only now seeing with my eyes open. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

Tammy Cinzio, Australia

 

Testimony 14

We really appreciate your views on the judgment and they make good sense considering our free choice.

Anonymous

 

Testimony 1

Thank you! I love listening to the Come And Reason Ministries Bible study classes and am using some of your notes to get the lessons together that I will be teaching. You always have such good quotes and Bible texts and pull things together to make good sense.

T. C., IN, USA

 

Testimony 41

I have been blessed by your ministry. I have experienced personally, and deeply resonate with, the God of love and the beautiful picture of God’s character that you present. I have seen your seminar series on YouTube, read ‘The Journal of the Watcher’ book, used your mobile app, and also listen/study the bible study lesson with you each week. I concur with many of the thoughts and perspectives that you share. I understand your conclusions on natural laws vs imposed law and the legal/penal substitution (incorrect diagnosis). This makes perfect sense to me.

Bless you for all you do.

Melissa L.

 

Testimony 3

My husband is a pastor and I listen to your lesson almost every week. Thank you for helping me in my study life and to help me love the “real” God more.

C. F., NC, USA

 

Testimony 39

[This ministry is the] biggest blessing I have ever received! Your DVDs and lessons could not have come at a better time in my life. I have experienced in the past year many difficulties that, if it wasn’t for this wonderful view of God that I have discovered through this ministry, I would not have been able to respond in love and forgiveness. My heart is being transformed everyday by the Calvary-looking God you teach. Hallelujah!! I have tears in my eyes as I write, because my life has taken a complete turn from where I was heading.

I am from Central America. Most of my family is scattered in different parts of the world and all have the same view of God that I had growing up; a distant, exacting, and ready-to-punish-us-with-tragedy type of God. So, I have been translating lessons for my family and, to my surprise, they have also been sharing them with others! I can already see the difference. My brother has often said, “Thank you for sharing, I have never heard it this way!” My other family members are taking an amazing turn from a message of “repent or burn” towards a loving God, pleading to us that we won’t reject him because he loves us eternally.

Bless you for all you do.

Sofia S., Ashfield, MA, USA

 

Testimony 72

I am blown away by the truth that you present. God’s Design Law makes so much sense! You have validated my impression that, if God is love, He would not kill those who don’t want to know him. If God gives us choice, then how can He destroy us if our choice is not to follow him. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to the pure love of God seen through Jesus. The love I now have for Jesus is deeper and free from condemnation. My heart has been opened to love others as Jesus loves me. May God continue to bless your God-given insight into His word and your ministry. The truth has set me free!

H. Miller, Centereach, NY

Testimony 65

I have been tuning into your weekly study classes for a while now and wanted express my appreciation for the teachings that ha been a huge blessing in opening up the true message of the word. Viewing scripture under an imposed law theory always, without fail, raised more questions, concerns, and conflicting scripture interpretations that were discouraging at the very least. Looking at scripture through the design law lens has brought more truth to light for me personally and an understanding of our Heavenly Father that places Him “above all others,” where I am now more than thrilled to witness and serve Him.  I “stumbled” across this ministry a year or so ago and would only watch a few minutes at a time. But the more I listened and the longer I paid attention, the more my spiritual eyes were opened to the ever present truths of scripture. The comprehension of the great controversy and it’s origin by the lies perpetrated and perpetuated throughout the Bible on the attack of God’s character and government is truly priceless. Keep up the Good Work! Your servanthood is desperately needed in such a time as this!

Jeff D., Reading, MA, USA

 

Testimony 69

After reading your book, ‘Could It Be This Simple,’ someone was explaining Christianity in a way that made sense to me for the first time in my life. One morning, I simply prayed “I’m sorry and I love you.” As soon as I silently said that, I could literally feel God’s presence and light flood down on me from above and fill me up with love and joy. I sat there crying my eyes out, because I was so overpowered with this feeling of love and joy. It was just so incredible. I hope that more people can read this book and get a blessing from it. It’s really amazing.

Rachael H.